1/
You used such beautiful words. Words like “gingerly” to describe how you approached the physical therapy maneuvers you tried that morning. And “cacophony” in reference to the food tray someone accidentally knocked to the floor.
I loved them all.
You used such beautiful words. Words like “gingerly” to describe how you approached the physical therapy maneuvers you tried that morning. And “cacophony” in reference to the food tray someone accidentally knocked to the floor.
I loved them all.
2/
Me: “You have such beautiful words. Such lovely and unexpected ones. It’s becoming my favorite thing on rounds this week.”
You: “Oh, aren’t words just grand? And so many to choose.”
You released a gentle chuckle. Then you coughed.
But gingerly.
Me: “You have such beautiful words. Such lovely and unexpected ones. It’s becoming my favorite thing on rounds this week.”
You: “Oh, aren’t words just grand? And so many to choose.”
You released a gentle chuckle. Then you coughed.
But gingerly.
3/
And so. Because it was established that we were both lovers of words, I closed each visit the same.
Me: “So what’s the word?”
And each time you would smile, stare off for a beat, and then share one.
You: “The word is . . . milieu. Do you know it?”
And so. Because it was established that we were both lovers of words, I closed each visit the same.
Me: “So what’s the word?”
And each time you would smile, stare off for a beat, and then share one.
You: “The word is . . . milieu. Do you know it?”
4/
Did I know it? Yes. But did I use it? No.
And so I told you just that.
You: “I like how that one feels in my mouth. So fancy. So I pair it usually with something unexpectedly common. Or even unsavory.”
Me: “Like what?”
You: “Hmmm. Let me think.”
You squinted an eye.
Did I know it? Yes. But did I use it? No.
And so I told you just that.
You: “I like how that one feels in my mouth. So fancy. So I pair it usually with something unexpectedly common. Or even unsavory.”
Me: “Like what?”
You: “Hmmm. Let me think.”
You squinted an eye.
5/
You: “This happy milieu makes for a better recovery in the hospital.”
My face broke into a smile. You could see it even under my mask.
You: “I skipped the unsavory word. It’s a good one right?”
Me: *nodding*
You: “You have one for me?”
Me: “A word?”
You: *chuckling* “Yes!”
You: “This happy milieu makes for a better recovery in the hospital.”
My face broke into a smile. You could see it even under my mask.
You: “I skipped the unsavory word. It’s a good one right?”
Me: *nodding*
You: “You have one for me?”
Me: “A word?”
You: *chuckling* “Yes!”
6/
Me: “I don’t have as many good ones as you. I’m nervous!”
*laughter*
You folded your IV laden arms and waited. I sifted through my brain for a word worthy of you.
Me: “lexicon.”
Your eyes widened.
Me: “As in ‘We are lovers of the lexicon.’”
You eyes closed in approval.
Me: “I don’t have as many good ones as you. I’m nervous!”
*laughter*
You folded your IV laden arms and waited. I sifted through my brain for a word worthy of you.
Me: “lexicon.”
Your eyes widened.
Me: “As in ‘We are lovers of the lexicon.’”
You eyes closed in approval.
7/
You repeated my words.
You: “We are lovers of the lexicon.”
Yes, we are.
So with each visit, this dance continued. An overview of your hospital course, an examination, a discussion of the plan, and then, of course, the exchange of words.
Between lovers of the lexicon.
You repeated my words.
You: “We are lovers of the lexicon.”
Yes, we are.
So with each visit, this dance continued. An overview of your hospital course, an examination, a discussion of the plan, and then, of course, the exchange of words.
Between lovers of the lexicon.
8/
You’d spent weeks in the ICU before I met you. And a few more with us. Finally, this prolonged hospitalization was drawing to an end.
I came to see you on that last day. You were perched up in a bedside chair—the light of anticipation emanating from you.
Me: “Hello, you.”
You’d spent weeks in the ICU before I met you. And a few more with us. Finally, this prolonged hospitalization was drawing to an end.
I came to see you on that last day. You were perched up in a bedside chair—the light of anticipation emanating from you.
Me: “Hello, you.”
9/
We both knew that the discharge plans had already been inked. You assured me that my intern had reviewed every piece of the plan.
Me: “Okay.” *taking your hand* “So tell me. What’s the word?”
You skipped the usual animated pause and did not miss a beat.
We both knew that the discharge plans had already been inked. You assured me that my intern had reviewed every piece of the plan.
Me: “Okay.” *taking your hand* “So tell me. What’s the word?”
You skipped the usual animated pause and did not miss a beat.
10/
You: “The word is ‘hallelujah.’”
You held my gaze and softened your eyes.
You: “How is that for today?”
Me: “It is perfect. So, so perfect.”
*silence*
You didn’t ask for my word in return. We just stood and held hands for a brief moment. Savoring that word “hallelujah.”
You: “The word is ‘hallelujah.’”
You held my gaze and softened your eyes.
You: “How is that for today?”
Me: “It is perfect. So, so perfect.”
*silence*
You didn’t ask for my word in return. We just stood and held hands for a brief moment. Savoring that word “hallelujah.”
11/
And so.
This was a piece of my week. Amidst the cacophony of the shitty milieu of an ongoing pandemic that we in healthcare have worked to gingerly navigate—there was this.
And to that I say hallelujah.
Yeah.💛
#humanismalways
And so.
This was a piece of my week. Amidst the cacophony of the shitty milieu of an ongoing pandemic that we in healthcare have worked to gingerly navigate—there was this.
And to that I say hallelujah.
Yeah.💛
#humanismalways
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