cindy and i have talked many times about the kind of blowback one gets for posting these kinds of things; writing it anyway takes guts, and nerves of steel.
@copyconstruct there's no shame in wanting power and influence to advance your agenda, if you're trying to fix things or improve complex situations. in fact, i think it's a moral imperative for people who care to not cede the space to those who ONLY want power and influence.
twitter is full of critics who have never written a line of production code or managed more than a pet rabbit. and that's fine.
but if you care about enacting real change more than being Right On The Internet, that means working through the vehicle of imperfect organizations.
the better you understand those organizations, and their formal and informal levers of power, the more change you can effect with what energy you have.
most engineers dramatically underestimate their power to effect change, because they spray energy everywhere when they try.
this is one of the reasons i always say that any engineer who wants to try management, should try it at some point. even if you don't love being a manager, it will make you a much more powerful technologist and advocate for change, whatever your role.
"politics" is not a bad word -- it's the art of persuasion and coalition-building, as opposed to violence or coercion.
using political skills for personal gain is what gives politics a bad name. you counter this by building your own political skills, not by opting out the game.
important political skills include:
* listening
* empathizing
* identifying common goals
* helping people, and them helping you
* thinking long term
* being generous and willing to forgive
* knowing why you're there, and what kind of difference you want to make
most of the things that get disdainfully thought of as "political" -- stabbing people in the back, invisible machinations, lack of transparency -- are actually terrible politics. it's short term thinking at the expense of longer term relationship building and trust.
too many people think that being innocent of how politics works is a strength.
it doesn't make you pure. it just makes you ineffective. the whole socio- part of sociotechnical systems runs on political navigation and negotiation.
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i completely agree. the more a company tends to talk about their diversity, transparency, etc, the more suspicious i get about how much they doth protest.
especially when they start conducting marketing campaigns around pay-to-play lists for "best employer" awards. 🙄
the best thing about real diversity (and real transparency) is that you don't have to THINK about it all the fucking time. it's not ✨broken✨ and in your face infuriating you with its brokenness all the time.
the most insidious thing about teams that aren't diverse is the constant cognitive and emotional load borne by those who happen to be different.
on a diverse team, people are relieved of most of that tax, and can just focus on being who they are doing what they do.
by request: a long list of tell-tale symptoms and questions to help you sort out the companies who are earnestly trying (but imperfect) from the ones that are shiny on the outside, shitholes on the inside.
most importantly, remember no sorting system is perfect, and you're going to take a bad swing or two at some point.
you'll know when you're a week or two in and it just doesn't feel right. trust your gut. leave the job, take another swing. you don't owe them a year of your life.
also, it doesn't have to mean the company itself is toxic or terrible or unredeemable. it might just not be a great fit for you.
it's like any other relationship. you need compatibility to be happy, but that's a deeply personal thing. what works for others may not work for you.
First: if it's sapping your essence over an extended period of time, just leave. You're no good to us dead.
It's worth persevering through some difficult times when you:
* believe in the mission, that the world is a better place if it succeeds
* have real power to effect change, formally or informally
* can see green shoots, or the wheels beginning to turn, however slowly
and part of that means consistently giving them feedback, constructive as well as praise.
*ask* how they prefer to receive feedback. give it gently, give it timely, give with a true spirit of "trying to help each other become better". don't let things snowball into badness...
and *solicit* their feedback for you with equal vigor. solicit often, receive it gracefully, show that you heard it and are making changes.
trust is built in part by being willing to say awkward things, by showing up to discuss the hard things with care and sensitivity.
if you are working at a place where you are being actively mistreated, i actually think you have a moral responsibility to leave (if you can do so).
caveats abound, of course.. it is not YOUR job to fix shitty companies, many are not fortunate enough for this to be an option, &c
but companies are out there feeling complacent about their employees and blind to their pain. i guarantee you nearly every leadership team is like "this is a great place to work" *pats self on back*
by staying, you vote with your feet and your labor for shitty companies to win.
when people start leaving and being straight up with their leadership teams about why they're leaving, it's one of the only things that can shock a company into changing course or trying to do better.
when someone turns in their notice, you should not respond with:
🍄 silence
🍄 stony stares
🍄 retaliation
🍄 pressure
🍄 guilt tripping
🍄 ignoring them
🍄 failing to meet their eyes
🍄 saying "we're better off without them anyway" TO ANYONE
-- my subtweet of the day
if you really are better off without them, that's a problem with *your* managers, not their fault. saying so is sour grapes, and making it about them inappropriately.
if you loved working with them, by all means tell them how much you will miss them, and you hope to work with them again someday! this is a small industry, and you very likely will.
don't leave them with a lingering sour taste about you.