Ìfẹ́ Profile picture
Jan 31 7 tweets 2 min read
I have concluded that, “When will you come to my house?” is the one question Lagos men love asking. If they don’t ask this question in a day, they will probably faint!
Nothing like, “Let me take you on a trip to the Maldives,” or “Let’s go picnicking on the beach.” Iro! No romance from here to there. Nothing nothing. Just vibes, Insha Allah and “come to my house.”
Okay o! We have come to your house o! House is smelling like ginger mixed with dirty socks.

Hay God!
When you now ask pe, “What’s that weird smell?” Uncle will now say, “Can’t smell anything.”

How will you smell something? This is your signature smell; you’re not new to this at all.
My advice to Lagos men: Stop asking us to come to your house. Plan a thoughtful date. If you still insist, make sure your house smells nice and heavenly.

Also make sure you can cook or you have a Chef. I like my jollof rice a lirru bit spicy, with peppered goat meat super soft.
Before you say your next, “Come to my house,” respect us a lirru bit and visit @DanGLifestyle or danglifestyle.co today to buy our candles that smell luxurious and heavenly.

Luckily, we are having a sale! 10% off ALL candles, Can you see how God works in marvellous ways?
Don’t forget my spicy Jollof and goat meat.🌚

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More from @diaryofa9jagirl

Feb 1
In my complex, on my way to my house, I see a woman chilling by the pool, she’s gently rocking her baby in the stroller. What catches my eye and ear is her toddler’s scream.

He’s rolling on the floor, crying. I watch him get up, slam himself on the floor and scream louder.
His mother gets up from her lounge position, I assume she’s going to console him. Instead, she pulls back the lounge chairs beside the toddler, dragging them away from him.

Then, she goes back to chilling on her lounge chair,
continues to rock the baby in the stroller while the toddler throws a tantrum.

I move close to her, “Is he okay?” I ask, half smiling, half concerned.

“Oh, he’s fine. He will be fine,” she says. She is quite unbothered.
Read 4 tweets
Feb 1
Marriages in Nigeria and most parts of Africa are sustained by women. You can argue this with your village deity. Women in general, put up with a lot of bullshit just to make their marriages work.
From childhood they have been taught that a wise woman keeps her home. In order to keep their homes, they end up enduring a lot of ill-treatment.
Find any woman who has been with a man for donkey years and ask her if she would love to marry that same man over again in her next life. Majority would say no. This brings us to the point that most marriages are endurance marriages not happy marriages.
Read 22 tweets
Jan 19
Today, I’d like to - once again- address people in their early 20s.

When I graduated from Uni in 2006 (22 years old) I had a plan - Work for a movie company, save, write my own movie. The plan didn’t work after NYSC when I realised those movie companies didn’t pay much/at all.
Sometimes, I would walk to Opebi from Maryland Bus-stop because I couldn’t afford public transportation so I changed plans: Get a job that pays you, make money, then write. My goal was to be a writer so any job I took at the time was okay as long as I was making money.
In 2008, I worked in a wealth management firm as a receptionist- my first real job. I would hear conversations about investments but mostly they were huge sums that seemed far-fetched at the time. I was just striving to survive and my belief was that only rich people invest,
Read 16 tweets
Jan 18
Ah! You people harassed my life! DANG Community members in Surulere & Ibadan, you didn’t allow me rest.

“Ife we’re human beings in Ibadan too o. There’s medplus in Ibadan o.”

“Ife Surulere is centre, why is Medplus here not stocked with @danglifestyle_ products?”

I hear you.
In addition to Medplus stores we stocked before, here are new additions in Surulere, Asaba, Ibadan and more in Abuja, Ikeja City Mall & PH.

The addresses for the new stores are:

1. Ringroad

The Palms, Ringroad Ibadan Oyo State 203109 Oyo state, Nigeria
07015827741
2. Foodco Jericho
Foodco, Jericho nursing home, all saints road, Ibadan. Ibadan, Nigeria
09152592977

3. Lugbe Mall
Novare Gateway Mall, Lugbe
900271 Abuja Nigeria
08181869338

4. Ikeja city Mall
Ikeja Mall, Alausa Lagos
100242 Lagos Nigeria
07013489462
Read 5 tweets
Jan 18
There are seven things I wish I knew earlier in life. Not that I regret my experience so far in life, I only wish I knew certain things sooner.
1. That love is an action, not mere words: So that when people tell me sweet nothings, I do not fall for all they say, helplessly, because you can tell me you love me, but not want the best for me. I want to hear you say you love me, but I want to feel it even more.
2. That my time and season will come, I need not worry about a thing: God is neither late nor early; He is always on time. Whatever I am meant to be, I will be, in due time. I do not need to be anxious for anything.
Read 9 tweets
Jan 17
We curated a list on the benefits of living alone. Swipe to see! 💃🏽
1. You can be naked any and every time: You can parade your house naked, with all your God-given features hanging! You can even cook naked. It’s just you in your natural form. Bliss!
2. You don’t have to deal with anybody’s mood swings: one minute some people are acting all sweet and homely, and the next minute, they are being rude and nasty. Living alone would save you from this stress, honestly.
Read 9 tweets

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