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Storyteller. CHIEF NOSE: @danglifestyle_ Community Manager of Evolving Souls. INSTAGRAM:@Diaryofanaijagirl
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19 Aug
Do you know why I talk about sisterhood and women uplifting women A LOT? Because every single day, I witness what it feels like to be supported by women who don’t know me.

Here’s something that happened recently: A DANG community member was at a popular store to buy stuff,
this store has branches in almost all the states in Nigeria. As she shopped, the manager of the store asked her what perfume she was wearing, she said she was wearing Zeus by DANG. The manager had no idea what Dang! Lifestyle was but this community member gave her all the details
she needed, asked her to go to the website, that we have so many other products available, she went further by recommending that this store stock ALL DANG products as it will be good business for them.

Guess who’s in my email right now discussing as a potential stockist?
Read 6 tweets
19 Aug
#Throwbackthursday to September 26, 2017.

My neighbours moved in over two weeks ago and we haven’t officially met. I say officially because I see them through my window as they drive to and from work. I have seen them, I just haven’t met them.
The couple seems quite reserved, I wonder how they go to work in the mornings without giving each other a peck or a smile. Yes, I watch them, I watch everyone as they go out in the morning. It is kind of my morning ritual.

Because I have manners,
I take a small fruit basket with me.

Knock. knock.

I’m at the door, announcing my presence but there’s no answer. I’m sure they’re in, they drove in at the same time earlier this evening.

Knock. Knock.

“Who is there?” I finally hear a muffled voice from the other side.
Read 10 tweets
28 May
Flashback Friday to when I was a drama Queen.

Bobo was away in the abroad, I hated that I couldn’t reach him as much as I wanted to due to time zone, plus he was there for work and extremely busy.

When I send a message at 1, he replies at 4. I was seething but calm.
On one of those days, he had just gotten off the phone, I remembered something so I called him back almost immediately, he didn’t pick up.

HAY GOD! There’s someone in that abroad he’s seeing. I mean... how busy can he be? Didn’t he just get off the phone with me?
My brain wasn’t processing that it was noon where he was and he probably had gone back to work.

This man now began to give me missed calls like 5 hours later. Did I pick it up? Nope. M

Me sef I was busy on my bed watching scandal.

Nonsense!

Knowing me, he sent me a message...
Read 10 tweets
27 May
Basic Etiquettes Part 2.

1. When someone gives you a compliment or does something nice, the best response is a simple “Thank you.”

Please don’t put yourself down like, “Only me?” “Ah, this cheap Tshirt is nice?” “This my wowo face?

Stopeeettt!
2. When someone takes you out on a date and pays, don’t ask how much was spent, don’t try and grab the bill to see how much was spent. Thank the person for the meal and take the memory with you.
3. A handshake should hold for more than 3-5 seconds. Don’t hold on to anyone’s hands and leave them feeling entrapped. If you have to continue chit-chatting, let their hand go!

Your shake should end before the oral introduction exchange does.
Read 6 tweets
22 Mar
Here’s why Don Jazzy could announce his newly acquired home -arms spread right in front of the house to indicate enlargement and space- without backlash but a woman who does the same would be dragged for bragging and probably sleeping around to be able to afford such.

#thread
I remember when I was younger, many of our aunts and mothers’ friends bought houses secretly and left the house to their children or sold the property(ies) to take care of their children when necessary.

The boys knew it, the girls knew it, we all accepted this as normal.
Why did our aunts and mothers see the need to buy these properties albeit secretly? The basic human need for independence,to be your own person, to have something that you can record as yours and yours alone.

Many boys and girls grew up seeing this and interpreted it this way:
Read 12 tweets
4 Jan
It was the 90s, everything good happened on Sunday-night-Tv, especially for kids and families. However, Sunday nights without power were the worst days for us, especially because not one flat in the compound had a generator.
No generator meant the parents had to entertain us which wasn’t a bad idea in itself, except that on this day, I was itching to share special news with Ngozi, the first child of our neighbour, mama Ngozi.
As we all sat in the living room listening to Mama share her childhood story with us, my mind left the present, all I could see was Ngozi telling me I was too young to wear a bra, she said all the boys would think I was too old and they wouldn’t toast me. I ran upstairs,
Read 18 tweets
4 Dec 20
Let’s talk about the “good girl syndrome” today.

Turns out, many women have the desire to be thought of as easygoing or being raised to be a good girl. When you investigate deeper, you find that they’re more interested in looking like a “good girl” to men, not to everyone.
Even when you know it’s time for GBAS GBOS and then some, you do everything “right” to avoid any conflict or, “get in trouble.”

Aunty, come off it!

It saddens me that, after all these years of women's increasing independence and power, so many women still live their lives,
seeking validation from another human just so they can be seen worthy and/or acceptable to date.

When you don’t get the expected good treatment, you say things like, “I guess good girls always finish last.”
Read 5 tweets
27 Oct 20
Yesterday, we all saw a video of Omoh F., a Nigerian soldier assaulting a woman because he had his uniform on and he had a belt. Simply put, he assaulted her because he could.

While this was going on, a young man in the audience repeatedly said to the lady being assaulted,
“He can be your husband o...respect him.”

A woman is being assaulted, another man asked her to stop arguing simply because, in another life, this assaulter could be married to her which automatically gives him the right to beat her while she’s OBLIGATED to take it.
Therein lies the reason we say patriarchy is ingrained in our society. Not only do men hold the power, but it is also generally expected for them to wield it as they please without repercussions.

This brings me to my question: WHY IS FEMINISM STILL REBUFFED BY MANY WOMEN?
Read 9 tweets
25 Oct 20
This evening, I drove past Lekki Toll gate, I realised I had become accustomed to that place being our peaceful protest ground. So I parked my car on the right side of the Toll, alighted and stood by the car, my back rested on the driver’s door.
Compared to the air of hope, unity, excitement and determination that I was used to on that ground, I felt a deep emptiness, not the one permeated by nothing but an emptiness that felt wrong: VOID.

A tear dropped, I folded my hands and looked around,
the anger, sadness and grief that I’ve been dealing with came back in full force, and I allowed myself to feel it. Through my tears, I saw the young man who brought me the green whistle and asked me to blow it loud if anyone harassed me,
Read 11 tweets
23 Oct 20
Last night, I chose to calm my spirit and sleep early. This was after I had cried in frustration in the shower.

I’m up now and after a deep soul search, I have made the following decisions:
⁃I may not run for office but I’ll join a political party that aligns with my values.
⁃I will take it as my sole duty to encourage youths to join a political party that aligns with their values.
Read 10 tweets
9 Oct 20
Yesterday on my Insta Story, I asked people to tell me what moment of their life they would take back if they could. 89% of responders (yes, I counted to be sure) out of 536 responses said they wish they hadn’t rushed into marriage when they did.

If you’re already furious at me,
calm down. Let me discount your arguments before I begin:

1. This post isn’t against marriage.

2. If you’re truly happily married, your marriage is a blessing to you and not a source of constant worry, unhappiness and feeling of entrapment, this post isn’t for you.
Why do women rush into marriage just for the sake of it? I researched and asked people as well, especially some of those who responded to the insta story question. Here are some quoted responses:

- “It just seemed like the next step to take, we had dated for so long”
Read 16 tweets
7 Oct 20
I’ve just finished watching “Oloture” and I must say that this is the most creative and realistic ending a Nollywood movie has ever had.

I don’t think the dialogue was smooth and seamless but for the first time, I didn’t dwell on the hitches; the story is quite compelling,
the reality of women being an endangered specie more glaring than I’ve ever seen in a Naija movie, the horror of sex trafficking, revealing.

There was a scene where a man hit a woman right in the middle of a tight Lagos traffic, he carried her on his back and roughly swung her
around until he was able to fling her into a bus. ALL THE WHILE, everyone minded their business, including military men.

Can I tell you about the locations of this movie without revealing too much? The story was told through the locations; so true to life, practical, AUTHENTIC!
Read 4 tweets
6 Oct 20
I was seated by the reception desk in 2009 when she waltzed in with the calmest energy, looking like a model. Her hair was shaved so low it was almost bald, she looked stunning!

I said to her immediately she approached the reception desk, “Wow, you’re beautiful.”
I think I made her shy but that’s not my business. 😂

Apparently, she came for an interview in the company and got the job. I immediately befriended her when she resumed even though I didn’t understand then why I was drawn to her.
I know now, her heart radiates so much light, I was bound to be affected by it. She’s the purest of humans, the most patient friend and sister, looking out for me when I don’t ask for it, speaking peace into my life when my heart is experiencing chaos,
Read 5 tweets
9 Sep 20
I’ve just gotten off a call with a 34-year-old lady who was sobbing painfully because she doesn’t get attention from men even though she’s pretty and funny.

When her friends insult her, even playfully, they’ll say, “Why do you think you don’t have toasters?”
And when there’s a fight, the words are, “no one wants you.”

First off, I think it’s a psychological/self-esteem issue that many women assume they or other women are worthless because they lack Male attention.
Your friends and family love you, show you attention but you think you’re not worthy because men haven’t let you know it?

How pitiful!

“Why do you want male attention so bad?” I asked her.

She said, “I’ve been single for too long Ife, I’m tired, I don’t want to grow old alone”
Read 8 tweets
1 Sep 20
Earlier today, I missed 4 calls from Beatrice, my housekeeper. I didn’t hear or see my phone ring because I had put my phone in silent mode as I was busy with work.

When I finally checked my phone and saw how many calls I missed from her 10 minutes prior, I got a little worried.
She had just left for the market, I wondered what could be wrong.

I returned Beatrice’ call and she picked up just after the first ring.

“Hello aunty, I don dey call you since o.” Beatrice sounded out of breath, as though she was walking briskly or had just rested from a run.
“What’s the problem? Are you okay?” My tone was calm but my fingers crossed.

“Ah,” she chuckled, “nothing much happen o. I forget fry goat meat for on top sink,I no remember to put am back for freezer. I say make I quick call you make you no chop am.”

Huh? I was super confused.
Read 9 tweets
14 Aug 20
Before the year runs out, call to schedule these three doctor appointments:
See a Dentist:

Experts recommend regular check-ups and teeth cleanings to help spot issues early on. Regular cleaning and check up appointments should be every six months or at least once a year.
See an OB-GYN: A routine ob-gyn appointment should include a pelvic exam, Pap smear (one every three to five years), and breast exam. Preventative gynecology appointments help catch problems earlier that may develop over time.
Read 6 tweets
10 Aug 20
I know I’ve said this before, but I’d like to remind you. Stop saying “Sorry” when what you’re truly doing is asking for permission to speak, to breathe, to exercise your right to exist.

“Sorry but I disagree”
Meaning: Give me permission to disagree.
Instead: I disagree.
“Sorry I have to complain about this.”
Meaning: I don’t like what is going on but please ALLOW me to complain and I apologise.
Instead: Thank you for listening, here are my complaints/grievances.

“Sorry could you repeat that?”
Meaning: I didn’t hear you, I’m not dumb I promise.
Instead: I don’t mean to take us back but I would like you to take that point again. Thank you.

“Sorry, please don’t forget to send in the report.”
Meaning: We’re on a project together, I need the report to push this forward, forgive me for doing my job.
Read 4 tweets
3 Aug 20
I remember as an employee, I would be up till 4 am tracking and responding to captains of ships or simply monitoring a product discharge.

I would send an email to my boss at 4 AM, giving her/him updates on the project(s).

EVERY TIME, both bosses would respond immediately.
They impressed me with their work ethics so I worked harder.

Dear Bosses,

If you’re lazy and have terrible work ethics but you’re looking for employees who’ll be hardworking and give their best, you’re not ready to own a generational business. You lead by example, they follow.
Dear Employee,

My reward for working hard/smart and doing extra came as a brand new car in my name but that wasn’t the main reward. It was the fact that they began to leave so much to me that I gained so much experience in a short time.
Read 4 tweets
28 Jul 20
"I thought studying in the US would be easy. I'd attended a UN conference in high school, so I already had a visa. I begged my father to let me go. He finally agreed and took out a loan to buy me a plane ticket. I arrived with $150 in my pocket,
and stayed with a Gambian family in Maryland. For two months I visited schools, asking for financial aid—but nothing was available for people like me. I began to accept the reality that I would need to go back home. There was one last school called Montgomery College.
It was a five-minute bus ride from where I was staying. And when I visited the campus, I learned about a scholarship for international students. But the deadline was approaching, and I would need to submit my application that day. I searched everywhere for a computer.
Read 9 tweets
11 Jul 20
Dear Virgin,

Let me tell you, I regret nothing, even though I’ve made many mistakes in my life.

Here’s the one regret I have: That I went ahead and had sex just because...

... I was about to graduate and it didn’t look or sound okay for one to graduate being a Virgin.
... My friends had done it and their stories sounded interesting.

... The guy I was with wasn’t paying me much attention,I decided sex would solve that problem.

My mother raised me better, she told me that sex was never a thing to take lightly, that it always had to be for you.
She said it is tantamount to cheating yourself if you have sex just so the other party can: (a)like you better
(B) be satisfied or (C) stay with you.

I didn’t listen to her, I had sex anyway, for ALL the wrong reasons.

Immediately after I had sex with this person,
Read 10 tweets
9 Jun 20
When I first started DANG, it mattered to me how many people liked because I thought that validated my content. It mattered to me how many people followed, that validated my presence, it mattered to me how many people commented, that validated my popularity.

Another thing:
I was told that to monetise my passion, I needed to have an insane number of followers, starting from 50k. So I started to count the followers, “1k, 1k-50, 1k-70,” it was soooo slow.

It didn’t take a while for this to bother me. I hated that instead of putting my all, I was
getting distracted by numbers.

One day in 2017, I wrote about it. Because that’s what I do,when I begin to feel uncomfortable with my situation or thoughts, I write to myself and ask myself: “why.”

My intentions have always mattered to me and it has always guided me back home.
Read 7 tweets