Corey Quinn Profile picture
Feb 1 32 tweets 11 min read
If I have to go through annual security awareness training, so do you.

@ESET may not enjoy this very much. It's threading time!
Well if someone markets to me under this name we know where it came from.
I... is this really necessary? I guess the 90 minute training's gotta be filled up with something.

"Meanwhile, Jackson's partner is cheating on him. Will he find out? Let's tune in..."
"You have a low-status job that's dull as watching paint dry, so you pretend you're saving the world with every decision you make."

Yup. Jackson works in infosec, all right.
"Here's how to detect whether an email is legitimate or not." I love how @eset has apparently not heard of "phishers who can spell properly" or "header inspection."
"The email isn't to the specific dedicated tagged address I gave Amazon years ago" is of course not on the list.
And of course "Amazon doesn't sign off with 'Best Regards' ever" is not on the list either.
"If you get a suspicious email, don't engage with it and put it out of your mind" means that I'll be ignoring a lot of emails. Like the inevitable @eset sales outreach.
"It's CRITICAL that you avoid opening a dodgy email attachment."

Uh... my rejoinder is "Why can me opening a file destroy the corporate network? This seems a lot like victim blaming to me. Maybe the Corporate IT folks need to upskill."
Apparently @eset should also "utlize" a spell checker.
This training seems to think that "spam filter" isn't software so much as it is an item in my job description.
This one's clearly spam but I bet @ESET doesn't know that. Why? Because Amazon hasn't told you what you ordered in their confirmation emails for *years* now.
Sorry, no. If "public wifi" is unsafe for you to use in 2022, your IT department has failed utterly. We're talking "contributed to the @ESET curriculum" level of failure here.
Bullet point 2 is sponsored by the entire RSA expo floor.
I would do all three of these because, again, it is 2022.
Hey, @internetofshit spotted in the security awareness training wilds!
"Check a company's privacy policy" is one hell of a lift, @ESET.
Yeah, no. If my employer cares about these things they can provide a separate router and uplink for business use. If not, they can shut the fuck up about what I do at home and mind their business.
Right after the "HTTPS is important" segment @ESET now goes to why a Web Content Filter is important. Uhh...

"One blocks or sets time limits on social media." If your employer does this, quit and get a job that treats you like an adult.
Now @ESET is telling me to be sure to install one to protect my kids.

This thread just shifted gears from "good natured" to "I actively wish harm upon @ESET."

Please tell me more about how to parent, you fucksticks.
"Switch off your Amazon Echo when doing work related things."

Again, "employment" does not equate to "you get to tell me how to behave in my own home."
Snitches get stitches, @ESET. This is once again Not My Job as an employee.
Cultural appropriation what now, @ESET?
It's not even a good game!
Sure is a lot of advice here that's only applicable to the physical office we don't have.
Yeah, I'm gonna challenge some beefy looking dude in a UPS uniform, @eset. It turns out I've reviewed my compensation and it nowhere near covers getting my shit rocked by an intruder.
"If someone reaches out to you first, it's suspicious."

Well yeah. The kind of corporate IT folks who subscribe to @ESET flat out don't do "proactive" in any sense. File a ticket, they'll get back to you eventually. Maybe.
Pretty sure the villain here is the mandated password rotation policy, @ESET. You'll find @NIST agrees with me.
The correct answer here is to track down your son's friend and break his little thumbs.
My god this artwork.
And nonsense complete and bahahahaha oh my god @ESET. "Here's how to fill out a badge for LinkedIn that doesn't actually validate a goddamned thing." Seems about right for your clownshoes level of technical understanding.
Please spare me from this in 2023, Twitter.

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More from @QuinnyPig

Feb 1
And now, the Alphabet (Google's parent company) earnings call. It's the rarest of unicorns: a YouTube video that doesn't whine at me to upgrade to YouTube Premium. Image
The market is happy. Stock up 7.5% in after hours trading.

A 20 for 1 stock split coming this summer.

Let's look at the @googlecloud numbers.
Google Cloud showed $5.5B revenue for the quarter, or a $22 billion annual run rate.

Margins are less rosy; for the quarter they lost just shy of $10 million a day.
Read 20 tweets
Feb 1
I've repeatedly said that if I were going to start a company from scratch today and I didn't have a pile of experience with @awscloud, I'd be hard pressed to choose a cloud provider who wasn't @googlecloud.
I stand by that, but let's bound this with the reality that I *do* have that experience with AWS.
If I'm building something for production, where downtime is going to have a real impact to my customers and to my business, it's borderline unthinkable that I'd pick a provider that isn't @awscloud.
Read 9 tweets
Jan 31
So let's find out why GuardDuty is the spendiest @awscloud service in one of my AWS accounts for January.
Okay, a crapton of CloudTrail events. Hmm.

This account is part of an organization. I'd have expected this to show up either in the CloudTrail bucket account, or the org payer management account.
GuardDuty console in this account confirms it.
Read 9 tweets
Jan 29
It took me a while to figure it out, but the reason I adore @b0rk’s content is that she excels at approaching explaining things in a way I can only aspire to. A thread…
Her latest is a great example of what I’m talking about. Go read it, then come back.…
Think of basically every other ipv6 advocacy piece you've ever read. They all round to "here's why it's good and you should use it," usually with a helping of "you ignorant jackass" sprinkled throughout.
Read 9 tweets
Jan 29
If you had given me 200 guesses about which company just pulled a “hey fuckstick, we’re turning on a chargeable service for your account because fuck you” I would not have guessed @awscloud.

Clearly times are changing and so must my impressions and opinions about the company.
Yeah, it's not going to impact a bunch of folks financially, but this is the first time I can *ever* recall that "configure something in AWS, leave on a trip for a decade, and come back to a higher monthly bill" has been true for any customer.

Read 11 tweets
Jan 28
Sure are a lot of JavaScript fans on Twitter. I think there'd be more Python shitposts except we're all busy trying to solve dependency problems.
I want to do a python project on my Mac. Okay, install asdf so I don't destroy my system python install, select the version.
Make sure my shell is configured to use it properly.

Time to pip install the stuff I need to globally.

Now time to create that project. Use a virtualenv to contain dependencies. Install all that global stuff all over again...
Read 9 tweets

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