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David Burge

@iowahawkblog

Aug 2

Two days in a row a hotel breakfast buffets

I mean these aren’t Motel 7s or whatnot, these are pretty decent midscale pseudo boutique places. The problem is the people. At what point did we become a nation of carny trash

My favorite was the mom with her two ~8 year olds, wearing the “THICC and TIRED of These Bitches” t-shirt. No need to swing elbows milady, the sausage patties are yours

Read 9 tweets

David Burge

@iowahawkblog

Jul 28

I'm neither a Nazi nor a marketing expert, but gotta say that screaming that an attractive young woman in a blue jeans advertisement is Nazi-coded is probably the worst anti-Nazi campaign ever devised

To combat the rise in neo-Naziism might I suggest that instead of grad school deconstruction of Sydney Sweeney ads, you'd be better off using actual Nazis in a campaign I call "lol get a load of this ugly gay Nazi retard"

Back a million years ago a pseudo academic pseudo scientist wrote a best seller of his hallucination of secret titties airbrushed into ice cubes in ads. What we're seeing now is the same thing, except hallucination of secret swastikas airbrushed into ad titties

Read 6 tweets

David Burge

@iowahawkblog

Jul 13

Today's #DavesCarIDService salutes a few of my favorite Gas Palaces, where architects elevated the humble service station to high art. Beginning with The Maestro, Frank Lloyd Wright, and the R.W. Lindholm Phillips 66 station in Cloquet, Minnesota (1958).

Wright had earlier designed Ray Lindholm's house, and proposed this design for his gas station. It was part of his 1927 Broadacre City design plan, and remains the only FL Wright gas station built during his lifetime. It's still open today as a Calumet station.

A more faithful (and stunning) version of Wright's original 1927 Broadacre City gas station design was finally built inside the Buffalo Transportation Pierce-Arrow Museum. Featuring a Pierce-Arrow limo, natch.

The "Phillips 66" brand capitalized the popularity of Route 66, and along Route 66 in Shamrock, TX lies the amazing Art Deco U-Drop Inn Conoco. Designed by J.C. Berry and built in 1935, you can imagine how it was a beacon to Route 66 motorists.

After the decommissioning of Route 66, it fell into disrepair and close in 1990; after restoration to its original glory, it now serves as a visitor center and Shamrock's Chamber of Commerce. It's also referred to in Pixar's CARS movie.

Imagine a weary 1927 desert traveler pulling into the Calpet oasis at 3327 Wilshire Blvd in Los Angeles, where two exotic Fatimas of the 7 Veils awaited to feed you grapes while filling you tank and checking your oil; why it'd be as if you were Rudolph Valentino in the Sheik of Araby.

Designed by Roland Coate, this jewel went all in on the Moroccan Revival style that was all the rage in LA at the time. You can still see many examples of that style in the Hancock Park neighborhood not far from where the Calpet station was located. Alas, you can't see the station, it was long ago demolished.

Read 21 tweets

David Burge

@iowahawkblog

Jul 11

This is worse than the whole Nazi thing

JFC

FFS it says "Plymouth" right on the hood

Read 11 tweets

David Burge

@iowahawkblog

Jun 5

Geez all these Zoomers whining about how easy old people had it with cheap houses and low college tuition. "College"? LOL, I dropped out of high school because I already had 3 VP job offers at Wall Street investment banks, with perks like free big shoulder suits and cocaine

Not to mention free shoebox-sized cell phones. Honestly I never did shit there except browse 16-bit porn and snort coke at my terminal, but always got my 6-figure quarterly bonus

I admit I probably blew a lot of that dough at exclusive SoHo discos, and plastic sheeting for my 6 bedroom midtown luxury high rise bachelor pad. I think I paid $20k for that

Read 11 tweets

David Burge

@iowahawkblog

May 24

"There is no thing we can do that is more American than getting in a car and striking out across country."

-William Least Heat-Moon

Today #DavesCarIDService salutes the first person ever to have that most American of notions, the delightfully named Dr. Horatio Nelson Jackson, who struck out from San Francisco on May 23, 1903 in a 1903 Winton 20 hp with the goal of reaching New York City. He was 31 years old, with virtually no driving experience and no maps. Just a lot of determination and a fairly decent bankroll to blow on his seeming folly.

We also celebrate his road trip companions: 20 year old Sewell Crocker, with whom he shared driving duties, and Bud the Bulldog, a canine good luck mascot he bought for $15 in Idaho along the way.

Spoiler alert: battered and bruised, they successfully completed the journey 63 days later.

Horatio Nelson Jackson was also an immigrant. Born in Toronto, he came to the US to study medicine at the University of Vermont. Part of his post-grad practice was at the Vermont Asylum for the Insane, where he possibly first came up with his road trip idea.

Ill healthy forced him to retire from his medical career in 1900. He married Bertha Wells, daughter of one of Vermont's wealthiest families, and acquired in some Mexican silver mines. The consummation of one of those mining deals brought him to San Francisco, where at the University Club he overheard another diner proclaim that the car was a passing fancy and no automobile could successfully make a cross-country journey.

In 1903 that was the sane take. The transcontinental railroad was already 39 years old and there was no reason to believe the car would ever supplant it for long journeys. Highways, for all intents and purposes, did not exist and there was no reason to build them.

But Jackson was undaunted. He bet the blowhard $50 (about $1700 in today money) that he himself could do it despite never having owned a car or driven one. Yikes. Fortunately he knew young Sewell Crocker who did have experience. Crocker tutored him in driving and suggested the rugged Winton as the ideal car for the journey. He named the Winton "Vermont" after his beloved state.

Jackson & Crocker took off on their ride on May 23 carrying whatever fuel and provision could be attached to the small car, including shotguns and rifles. It was extremely arduous trek with daily breakdowns, repairs, and rescues from mud. Landowners would charge them tolls. Crocker had to make a 50 mile round trip bicycle ride for fuel in the Oregon outback. In Idaho Jackson's coat containing most of his cash fell off and his was forced to wire San Francisco for more.

It was also in Idaho where Jackson bought fearless Bud the Wonder Dog as a good luck mascot. And it seemed to work. By Jackson's account Bud was always alert for road hazards, but the dust of the western alkali flats bothered his eyes so they bought him a pair of goggles.

After 63 days on their improvised route that largely parallels US 30 / Interstate 80, with daily newspaper accounts of their journey growing their fame, they arrived in NYC to a hero's welcome.

All were pretty bruised up. Jackson lost 20 pounds during the trip and most of the Winton's parts were replaced along the way. Jackson said he spent $8000 of his own money for the trip (more than $250,000 today). But hey, won his $50 bet. Which he never collected.

His Winton, the Vermont, is now in the Smithsonian.

Since it's Memorial Day weekend I should also note Horatio Nelson Jackson was decorated US Army surgeon during WW1. At 45 he was considered too old for battleground medical service, but prevailed upon his friend Teddy Roosevelt to pull a few strings to get him to the front.

He certainly saved many men from memorialization, and even suffered a gunshot wound to the arm during the Argonne offensive. For his efforts he received the Distinguished Service Cross, the French Legion of Honor, and the Croix de Guerre.

After the War he was one of the founders of the American Legion and remained an active member and official. He twice ran unsuccessfully for Governor of Vermont, and owned a radio station there.

Dr Horatio Nelson Jackson passed away at 82 in 1955. A year and a half later, the Federal-Aid Highway act was passed, establishing the Interstate Highway System.

Those of us who enjoy discovering America via our own improvised road trips owe a debt to Jackson, and his ballsy uncollected $50 bet that cars were the future.

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