David Burge Profile picture
Feb 4, 2022 12 tweets 3 min read Read on X
Fuck the Olympics
I am enthusiastically going to miss every goddamn second of them, you corporate totalitarian-fluffers
Don't miss the Xtreme stars going for the Toyota® gold in rad freestyle snowboarding on the Olympic® Games presented by Visa® exclusively on NBC and NBCSN! Download the Peacock® streaming app from Apple® or Google® !
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*may contain propaganda, slave labor, and virus labs
This is an event so momentous and spectacular it took all of the world's creepiest corporate and government supervillains working together to bring it to you
Congrats to Ming Zhou and Li Chaoxiang of China for advancing to the medal round in Pairs Journalist Arresting
And right on cue, this garbage website auto-emojis #Olympics #OpeningCeremony #Beijing2022 for you, like good little totalitarian pep squad bootlickers
I award you 1.5 social credits, beep boop

Machine learning developed at the Guanzhou Institute of Advanced Groovy American Teen Slang Talk
In fairness to Milkshake Duck, people only happy-tweeted about him *before* they found out he was a racist Image
Leni Reifenstahl's Olympia 2022, presented by Nike
Always a good idea to be a gracious guest, especially when your host runs a slave labor dungeon in his basement
Please note: network ad buys now often have audience size guarantees. If the audience is smaller than guarantee, the network ends having to make-good with free spots on other programs.

Be a real shame if NBC had to run a year-long fire sale on their ad inventory due to this

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More from @iowahawkblog

Mar 22
Internal combustion, electric, steam? Old hat, been there done that. Today's #DavesCarIDService salutes some mad geniuses who REALLY thought outside the box when it came to alternative vehicle power. Starting with Ron Main's rubber band-powered "Twisted" land speed record car.

Car-wise I was kinda jaded, thinking I had seen it all, until I saw this latex propelled green energy machine debut at 2008 Bonneville Speed Week.Image
Yep, you read that correctly, rubber bands. The SCTA (Southern California Timing Association) land speed record book has hundreds of classes for different body types, engine displacement, wheel counts, and power sources. Which leads to a lot of innovation, and craziness. Main owns a number of those records, including the world's fastest Ford Flathead V8 at 302 mph.

And what's more innovative than inventing your own rubber band powered class? That was the intention with Twisted. Under the hood: a battery of 150 industrial rubber bands, the kind used to secure cargo on pallets. Anchored to a set of gears that could be wound up with an electric motor.

How to keep them from binding, though? The following content is for mature audiences only. Rubber, as we all know needs to be lubricated, and a team crew member was designated to apply friction-reducing lubricants. Main referred to him as "the fluffer."

How did it do? SCTA measures speed over flying mile, but allow for a vehicle assisted push start. The goal was pretty modest, 30 mph, but the biggest challenge was to sustain rubber band power for that one mile. Sadly it wasn't going to happen that first year, which was also the last year Twisted appeared there. The rubber band class record remains vacant, in case you want to attempt it yourself.Image
For REAL speed with alternative power? There are more things under heaven and earth, Gear Ratio, than dreamt of in your philosophies. Like 189 mph on compressed air. Achieved in the Speed Sport IV dragster in 1962.

Speed Sport was a well established successful drag racing team out of Tucson at the time, racing fairly conventional Top Fuel dragsters. Tucson was also home to AiResearch, which produced auxiliary power units (APUs) for jet aircraft engines. Basically, an APU is part of the starter motor for a jet turbine, powered by compressed air. When you listen to the engines powering up on your passenger jet, your hearing that.

They're capable of producing 750 ft-lbs of torque, and weigh only 35 pounds. AiReseach approached Speed Sport about a joint project to adapt them for drag racing. Note the tire smoke: this wasn't about thrust, the compressed air turbine was geared to a truck axle. The turbine itself produced virtually no thrust.

But it did produce snow: the rapid decompression of the air tanks crystalized the ambient H2O, making it into an accidental snow machine. Which also limited its ability to even go a complete quarter mile. In order to solve this, a spark plug and a bit of conventional fuel to heat up the decompressing air. Voila, 189 mph in the quarter mile with a low 8 second ET.Image
Read 7 tweets
Mar 16
Time for #DavesCarIDService to get back on the road again! During SXSW this week, I lucked into a little behind-the-scenes access at the Luck Reunion music fest at Willie Nelson's Luck Ranch outside Austin. Lucky me!

That included a couple of the more notorious vehicles around: Willie's tour buses, including the original Honeysuckle Rose. Sorry for the blurry cell phone pix, maybe it was due to a contact high, I'm not admitting anything.Image
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Here's a more competent photo of the "Honeysuckle Rose II," a Canadian-made 1990 Eagle Model 15 with custom interior by Florida Coach, and murals by an artist name "Rainmaker" (this is a car ID service after all). Willie's original tour bus was a 1983 Prevost that was totaled, without him in it. The various Honeysuckle Roses were all Prevosts:

I: 1983-90
II: 1990-96
III: 1996-2005
IV: 2005-presentImage
And if you're wondering, no I didn't get to hang with Willie. But enjoyed his live show and got to hang with quite a few whippersnappers who are carrying on his legacy of outside-the-mainstream rootsy music. Thank you to the mysterious Hawkspawn & pals for some nice memories.
Read 25 tweets
Mar 14
"We're not allowed to say <thing> in this country."

"But you just said the thing you said you weren't allow to say, on a podcast with a million listeners, and literally nothing happened to you."

"Oh so now I'm not allowed to say that I'm not allowed to say the thing?"
I wish to clarify to all who are confused over this issue: others pointing out that the supposedly forbidden thing you said was 100% factually wrong, and you are obviously mentally ill and/or retarded, does not constitute "censorship"
I can't help notice that the main consequence of claiming that you're saying forbidden things seems to be lifetime university tenure, or an open invitations to promote yourself on Tucker Carlson or Joe Rogan
Read 6 tweets
Mar 11
JFC here comes the tech bros again with their robo fetish Image
MIT genius: my prototype $50k robo-man does the work of the three hired hands that Kansas farmers use to harvest their wheat fields, according to the Wizard of Oz

Silicon Valley VCs: here's $3 billion
These fucking robo-nerds apparently studied engineering so they could un-invent the wheel
Read 8 tweets
Mar 11
Top B1G serial killers (minimum 2 deaths):

1. Jeff Dahmer OSU
2. Ted Bundy Washington
3. Ted Kaczinski Michigan
4. OJ Simpson USC
5. Donald Miller Michigan State
*Bill Ayers (Michigan) disqualified on a technicality. Due to incompetence his bomb only accidentally killed three friends
**John Wayne Gacy attended Northwestern Business College in Oak Lawn IL, which has no affiliation with Northwestern University in Evanston, but I feel he may qualify as a Wildcat in spirit
Read 13 tweets
Mar 6
So I watched 'Pepe Le Moko' (1937) with Jean Gabin and joked to my wife that maybe he was inspiration for Pepe Le Pew, and it turns out that was actually the case and now I don't even know what to think anymore Image
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It's literally the movie where 'Let me take you to zee Casbah' comes from
*I was yesterday years old when I found out the Casbah is the sketchy bordello district of Algiers, to which Pepe Le Moko lures a fancy vacationing Parisienne gal
Read 6 tweets

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