Thread by @danielgoyal

The PM Covid briefing...

...it was another masterclass of spin and sleight of hand, with insinuations and revelations from Whitty and Patrick.

Here is my take after running it through the Bullsh*t translator.

🧵
#ShowUsTheScience

The PM's opening remarks:
PM: "there was no option except to use government regulations to protect our NHS and save lives."
Translation: we do not believe it is the job of government to protect people from a deadly new virus, but we were forced to when hospitals became full.

PM: we sacrificed our liberties - economy, society and education.
Translation: we didn't realise the colossal impact on economy, society and education if we did f*ck all to protect the public until the last minute.

PM: from the outset we were clear we had to chart a path back to normality...through vaccines and treatments to replace restrictions.
Translation: we gambled 100k lives on a herd immunity strategy that failed and now we are leaching off the success of UK scientists and NHS staff

PM: "We emerged from the teeth of the pandemic before many others"
Translation: We were expelled from the anus of the pandemic after it chewed us up, killed 150k, caused disability to many more, decimated our health system and economy.

PM: "Obtaining one of the most open economies in the world."
Translation: we took the opportunity the pandemic gave us to open up the public purse to our chums and pillage public services, making about 0.001% very rich indeed.

PM: We are passed the peak of Omicron with fewer than 10,000 hospital admission...
Translation: I don't have a f*cking clue what I am talking about! Does the virus have a peak - must be this darn spike thingy? Is 10,000 a lot? Doesn't sound like a lot. My refurb cost way more.

PM: We have the chance to complete the transition back to normality...
Translation: ...I do not have the attention span to understand how to get us back to 'normality', so I will just do whatever is in my own interest.

PM: We will continue to work with the devolved nations...
Translation: We will do whatever we like and because we dictate Covid laws and pandemic spending they will just have to follow!

PM: from 1st of April we will ask people to exercise personal responsibility if they have Covid to be considerate just like the flu.
Translation: Nothing to worry about, it's just like the flu, probably...well, we will see, won't we.

PM: excess deaths are lower than they usually are at this time of year.
Translation: No idea what this means, but it sounded good on Twitter.

PM: we must scale back the testing to save money.
Translation: sorry chums I think we have overcharged the British people enough and now they are starting to notice, so we need to dial it back a bit.

PM: after all the efforts of the last two years we are restoring our liberties.
Translation: We have no idea what we are doing and really don't like feeling like idiots when talking to scientists, so we just don't want to play anymore.

PM: And we are stopping almost all testing
Translation: and we are taking our ball with us!

PM: a moment of pride in our nation.
Translation: we are delighted we have managed to regress the UK back towards the good old days of keeping peasants in their place.

Whitty comes next, and his opening line is actually quite damning:
Whitty: Cases are coming down but it reached an "extraordinary" high peak...
Translation:We told you it would be devastating but you just wouldn't listen!

Whitty: cases are still very high and older and vulnerable people are still being infected.
Translation: This dude [PM] is proper loco!

Whitty: Hospital admissions are still high and causing serious disruption to other services.
Translation: just like we said it would!
Whitty: Just like other peaks
Translation: this will happen again and again until you actually f*cking listen!

Whitty: Those who say this is a trivial disease need to look at how many were hospitalised and CONTINUE to be hospitalised.
Translation: You utter spanner...we still have ten thousand folk hospitalised...this is not the fricking flu, and it ain't over, you absolute tool!

Whitty: ...including the elderly and vulnerable
Translation: you heartless, spineless, power-hungry man child.
Whitty: many are still coming forward for their 1st,2nd and booster vaccines
Translation:We haven't even finished vaccinating the population and you are saying its over!

Whitty: while the numbers remain high [of a 'significant and highly transmissible' disease] it is sensible to continue to isolate, ventilate, and mask-up.
Translation: We have advised the PM that isolation, ventilation and masks are still required, but the numpty won't listen.

Overall, there is the sense that lots of negotiations have been going on behind the scenes. Perhaps Whitty would only stand next to PM if the reality is a steady and tentative stand-down - ONS survey kept, 'at risk' group still with free tests, ramp up if and when transmission..

...spikes -, and the PM still had enough for the big show of 'ending' restrictions.
If so, the negotiation over testing those who present to the NHS remains up for grabs. If they are clever they will also negotiate for improved healthcare capacity and staff retention too.

But equally there seemed to be enough progress in relation to excess deaths (Whitty) and immunity through infection (Valance) to allow them to see the removing of isolation and masks as not absolutely abhorrent. They failed to see how weak Johnson had become without them.

They protested the PM's pandemic direction by staying away. Negotiations brought them back. Was it enough? Did they negotiate well enough? Probably not.

Ending isolation at this stage remains abhorrent, IMV, and what they got back was not enough to justify supporting this PM!