Lamar | CX Profile picture
Feb 23 31 tweets 4 min read
Kids need fathers.

Not dictators.

Here's how I get my "strong-willed" 5yo to listen to me — without crushing his spirit.

"Not a choice"

My son wanted to call me from school.

That was his teacher's response.

So now...
He's being homeschooled.

And it's a breeze.

My son and I were quarantined for 8 months back in 2020.

We found our pattern.

But it was hard at first.
He was 3 when his pre-school shut down.

I was working remotely.

And there were NO feasible babysitting options.

As you can imagine...
It was a shitshow.

The truth is...
Netflix did a LOT of the heavy lifting those first 2 weeks.

But this wasn't serving him.
I had to get crystal clear on my role as a father.

I like how William put it:

That's the parenting game.

And that was my focus during quarantine.

I couldn't ask for a better relationship with my son.

Here are 3 lessons I learned back in 2020:

My son doesn't take direct orders.

He'll always find a way to rebel.

So while we were quarantined…
We made a checklist of things to do every day — for both of us.

And e wrote it on a whiteboard (and wall) together.
This gave him a sense of independence.

It also positioned me as an advisor.

Not a boss.
Lesson 1 — Decentralized Authority

The less I demand of him — the more he values what I say.

The checklist is sovereign.

My son loves motorcycles.

He learned to ride a two-wheel bike when he was 4.

And he talks about buying his own motorcycle all the time.
He wouldn't take his slimy DHA vitamin when I tried to bribe him with TV.

But now...
He takes it every day.

Because he understands how DHA vitamins can help him be a better biker.

Same with reading.
He won't read "Green Eggs and Ham"

But if it's about bikes (or dinosaurs) — he's all over it.
Lesson 2 — Passion Anchoring

Everything I need him to do...

I find a way to tie it to his passion.

Last one.
He wanted to scoot in the street.

This was a busy NYC street with a ruthless bike lane.

And of course...
I said no.

Because it's dangerous.

And we were 5-minutes away from the park - where it's safe.

But what did he do?
He threw himself on the ground and cried.

Now usually...
I would try to calm him down right away with...
•A hug
•A snack
•A logical explanation.

But this time...
I sat him on a nearby bench and kept him safe.

I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Until he calmed down on his own and said...
"I don't know why I cried like that."

Then he cleaned himself up.

And we continued on to the park.
Lesson 3 — Sit in the fire.

He processed his own feelings.

And he gets better at it every day.

All he needed from me was patience.
Quarantine parenting lessons TLDR:

1. Decentralized Authority
2. Passion Anchoring
3. Sit in the fire.

That's the thread.
My name is Lamar.

I tweet about Story.

Follow me @elevatedstory if you're into that.

Retweet the first tweet to spread the fatherly camaraderie.

One more thing...

Parenting in quarantine took a LOT of emotional bandwidth.

I couldn't have pulled it if I hadn't fixed Doctor Keys' mistake.

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh

Keep Current with Lamar | CX

Lamar | CX Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!


Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @ElevatedStory

Feb 21
Protect your time.

The 9 "Don't Waits" of 2022.

Thread ↓
Don't wait for Mother's Day.
Don't wait for permission.
Read 13 tweets
Feb 11
The stock market.

And what school didn't teach us about money.

Thread ↓
You're not an investor.

And I'm not an advisor.

So why should you read this?

11 years ago I spent 8 months living out of a car while working a $10/hour job.

Read 49 tweets
Feb 10
Protect your energy.

The 9 'Don't Do's' of 2022
Don't try to lose weight

Get healthy.

There's a difference.
Don't break habits with willpower.

Use triggers.
Read 13 tweets
Feb 9
Ninja Research:

How to find gold in the crevices of the internet—and get everything you need to prep a $100m offer in 4 hours instead of 4 weeks.

Plus a gift.

Thread ⬇
If you RT the first tweet you'll get a DM with 30 next-level research sources.

More about that later.
In this thread I'll show you where to find answers to these questions:
Read 29 tweets
Jan 28
3 BIG lessons.

All learned after 6 years of home automation—from:

• A billionaire developer who owns half of NJ
• 2 dummies making 8-figures
• The guy who saved his business but lost his marriage.

Thread ⬇️
First up...

I was a low-voltage technician.
There are luxury apartment buildings in NJ called Xchange.

And we broke ground for the first building in 2009.

But before that...
Read 27 tweets
Jan 19
Do you write?

5 years ago I paid $1650 to learn the same framework Hollywood uses to script movies—and I've made that back 200x over.

Here it is. 🤫

Thread. ⬇️
Story is the most persuasive messaging tool in the universe.

But most story gurus teach a small portion of it.

Here's a 23-part framework you can use for clear and concise messaging.

I rarely use the whole thing.

Read 53 tweets

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Don't want to be a Premium member but still want to support us?

Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal

Or Donate anonymously using crypto!


0xfe58350B80634f60Fa6Dc149a72b4DFbc17D341E copy


3ATGMxNzCUFzxpMCHL5sWSt4DVtS8UqXpi copy

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us on Twitter!