Thread by @HydrogenEvolved

1/🧵Ok everybody there were only 3 speakers at tonight’s @ChandlerUnified mtg but they were… something else.

Seriously, have a seat. No wait - make some popcorn, pour yourself a nice beverage, and settle in for the @nbcsnl school board skit they can only wish they had written.

2/🧵 First up: Kurt Rohrs.

“To speak about discipline.”

Discipline.

Remember this.

DISCIPLINE.

3/🧵 “So let’s talk about chicken thighs.”

Y’all… 🤣🤣🤣🤣

4/🧵 Ok before we continue with Kurt, let’s revisit the last meeting for a critical moment he’s about to reference: pointing out the ridiculousness of permission slips sent home over chicken BREASTS.

5/🧵 Chicken BREASTS.

https://twitter.com/daniellexdesign/status/1491407465292136448

6/🧵 Just to be clear, if you’d thought “permission slips over chicken breasts cannot get any more ridiculous period” you would not have been unreasonable.

But you would have been wrong.

Enter CUSD Board Candidate Kurt Rohrs, who cannot bring himself to say “chicken breasts”…

7/🧵 … but can bring himself to say this.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT, KURT. 😳

8/🧵 Think this is part of his plan to “Let Teachers Teach” in a “supportive environment” ???

Yikes. 😬

9/🧵 (ps Also Kurt on “Letting Teachers Teach”)

https://twitter.com/hydrogenevolved/status/1459667704189652992

10/🧵 (pps Also Kurt on “discipline”…)

https://twitter.com/HydrogenEvolved/status/1471342181315084288

11/🧵 Mmkay then Kurt managed to work in some feigned concern over “the dignity of the teaching profession” …

… before basically dropping his pants to show his whole teacher-hating ass.

Remember: this man wants a seat on the CUSD governing board.

Maybe we stop that…?

12/🧵 Alrighty then so moving on from there, next up was a woman with multiple props.

Y’all… I expected greatness here.

I was not disappointed.

13/🧵 But first, she may have dropped out of the race, but we’ll always have “the Black Laws Dictionary,” right Nicole? 😢

It was a truly great moment in Props of CUSD Board Meetings history…

14/🧵 A woman, a bible, and a statue walk up to a podium…

15/🧵 (Yes we know what she’s talking about. No it won’t get linked here. It’s a recording supposedly taken from a classroom & posted by… b/c of course it’d be them… Purple4Parents. But unlike hate groups we aren’t cool w/ harassing teachers so… sorry. Not sharing it here.)

16/🧵 Let there be props!

Y’all can comment on your favorite parts of this. I have to get to bed at some point this year. 🤣

17/🧵 Now, I know what you’re probably thinking: no WAY is anyone topping that.

Oh ye of little faith…

✅ brought a handout
✅ “independent journalist”
✅ DETERMINED TO WIN TONIGHT’S BINGO GAME!!!

18/🧵This woman was NOT messing around. It’s a 9-hr time difference b/t AZ & The Netherlands. This poor woman of many, many hats was obviously powering through brutal jet lag to personally deliver these charges of broken INTERNATIONAL LAWS straight from The Hague.

Y’ALL 😭😭😭

19/🧵 And there you have it, #Chandler.

I am exhausted from laughing. This was… this was a classic night, y’all. The circus did not disappoint! 🤡 🎪 🤹‍♂️ 🍿 🥜

(Actual footage of their clown car leaving the parking lot! 🤣🤣🤣)