I used to write about Trump’s narcissism all the time. It maybe time to apply that to Putin.

I sort of *feel* a narcissist’s energy in their actions. I sense where they are mentally.

It feels very much like Putin was startled and thrown off by Biden outing his plans.

1/
Putin had a whole plot engineered to give him a pretext for this invasion. It would start with a false flag and would then proceed to the invasion we just saw.

The explanation would have been that Ukraine is riddled with threats to Russia and Putin had no choice but to act.

2/
Biden stole that narrative out from under him though and left Putin with either the humiliation of retreat or trying to concoct some new rationale for pressing ahead.

Narcissism prevents a unilateral retreat. It would be an admission of having been wrong.

3/
So, Putin pressed ahead and is now out over his skis in terms of the narrative. Narcissists need dust clouds to cover their offenses. Putin doesn’t really have one.

So, now he’s doing what Trump does when embarrassed: throwing spaghetti at a wall and hoping something sticks.

4/
In the last two days, he has vacillated between claiming:

1) Ukraine doesn’t exist and is rightfully part of Russia

2) Ukrainians want free-determination and he’s merely helping

3) It’s NATO’s fault for expanding eastward

4) It’s about cleaning out bad actors in Ukraine

5/
He lost the cover story of a false flag; has been exposed as a naked warlord; and is now facing even greater public rebuke that is spiraling beyond what he imagined.

As intimidating as Putin is to many, he is just another narcissist with formulaic drives and a cast of enablers.
And as I used to say all the time, narcissists are simple machines.

They are compelled by two related drives:

- be seen as special, powerful and worthy of admiration
- avoid being seen as shameful, unworthy of esteem

Now Putin has himself out somewhere he didn’t plan to be.
Putin didn’t bargain for the amount of pressure he and Russia are about to be under.

People who have been around narcissism can feel the narc’s energy when they are dysregulated like static electricity. That is how Putin’s conduct has felt this week. Dysregulated.
Putin had a plan that he would not have wavered from. Biden outed it. Putin pressed ahead uncovered.

He acted rashly due to his narcissism… but due to that same narcissism, there may actually be room to de-escalate this in the not so distant future.
I know that sounds impossible. It isn’t.

Narcissists serve their image. Always.

Putin misjudged… he underestimated how quickly and ferociously the world would galvanize in disgust.

And he underestimated the pressure that will result through even his own oligarchs.

//
Whoops, didn’t mean to end there.

The final bit was:

If there is a chance at de-escalation, it will require Putin being able to fashion a face-saving narrative for how he was right to invade; didn’t lose; and was right to de-escalate as a result of some alleged development.
It doesn’t have to be true or all that believable. It just has to feel plausible to the narcissist.

May sound impossible but it is actually pretty 101 when it comes to narcissists. They hold no long-term, stable beliefs. They care only about their ego-needs. That’s it.

//

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More from @TheRealHoarse

Feb 24
I have terrible vision.

Over the last 15 years or so, my vision has repeatedly hit the maximum correction contacts could offer and then gotten worse just as contacts improved enough to keep pace.

It’s my deteriorating eyes in a race against Bausch & Lomb.

1/
Went to the eye doc today.

No joke, with my contacts out, they didn’t even bother trying to have me read the eye chart.

They held up fingers a few feet away from me. I knew it was between 1 and 5.

Beyond that, your guess is as good as mine.

2/
So, I have now bested what soft contact technology has to offer.

Out in the hallway, a conference takes place. In hushed tones, I hear them talking about how they couldn’t get me to better than maybe 20:40 or 20:50… WITH CONTACTS.

That sounded un-good.

3/
Read 12 tweets
Feb 18
So, I stop at my local outdoor store to buy longjohns and wool socks for Curlapalooza this weekend.

Get to talking with the cashier who happens to know a great deal about the physics of curling.

“Just Google it.” he says “Google ‘physics of curling’.”

Umm. I’m frightened now.
Ohhhhhh, the rotational equilibrium… of course!

(note to self: Google ‘rotational equilibrium’)
Ah, the classic rivalry: friction v. contact pressure.

The Hatfields and McCoys of physics.

I have no idea what I’m even talking about here. I was an English major.

I could give you some decent free verse on the metaphor of the curling stone. I wasn’t told about the math tho.
Read 6 tweets
Feb 17
There is a house I pass by on occasion.

It is a sore thumb. A little stone chalet with a Swiss-ish turret clock behind a curved stone wall.

It has always struck me as an authentic place leftover from a different time.

1/
It is on a busy road and is a block away from a major highway.

It just always felt like an authentic leftover to me though.

So, I looked it up.

100 years ago, it was the gatehouse for a sprawling estate incomprehensibly vast by today’s standards.

2/
A mile or more up that dirt road was *one of the homes* of the oil baron, Louis Hyde.

It was a solid drive from that little gatehouse to a mountainside mansion.

3/
Read 10 tweets
Feb 12
My son and I do a thing where we scout “Best of…” food lists for new places, pick one, and make an outing of it. Barbecue, Latino food, ice cream shops, breakfast places.

Nothing fancy. Just good places that are new to us that we can make an outing of…

1/
These outings feel like little trips. Mini-adventures.

This morning, we did a breakfast run. Half-hour drive. Half-hour wait.

Sweet. Fancy. Moses.

Worth it. Delicious.

2/
Glazed pork belly bites on a stick.

Nacho omelette cups.

Pork roll, egg, and cheese egg rolls with cranberry ketchup.

Basically, three small dishes we shared.

So fun, these little roadies.

//
Read 4 tweets
Feb 12
Sitting with my son at an empty restaurant counter, the two of us drifting in and out of conversation as we tend to do.

An older woman walks up to me and says “Excuse me. Is this your son? I just wanted to say, you seem very comfortable with each other. It’s nice to see.”

1/
Let me tell you, that is among the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.

It is one thing to feel like you have a close, comfortable relationship with your child. It is another to have someone else tell you they can tell.

It was so out of the blue. And it made my day.

2/
And this wasn’t today. It was months ago.

I still think of it often.

I think it was that she saw us in the most regular of moments. We were there eating a casual bite, drifting in and out of being present, talking and then not, quiet and then talking some more.

3/
Read 4 tweets
Feb 10
People who act like this are shitheads.

I can't even begin to tell you how many times some self-absorbed asshole has gone off on me like this while having no idea that my problems absolutely dwarfed their little drama they mistook for a crisis.

I hate people who do this. Image
For real, no joke, when my entire life was burning down, some person would just go off and then be like “I’m sorry. I’m just dealing with a lot right now.”

and it was never close to “a lot”.

It was always only *one* of the checkboxes on my list.
Always wanted to say:

“Ya ain’t the first to get divorced. Ya ain’t the first to have someone die. Ya ain’t the first to have crushing debt or lose your house or job. Ya ain’t even the first to have all of them at once. Your shit ain’t new, different or bigger.”
Read 5 tweets

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