Over the last 15 years or so, my vision has repeatedly hit the maximum correction contacts could offer and then gotten worse just as contacts improved enough to keep pace.
It’s my deteriorating eyes in a race against Bausch & Lomb.
1/
Went to the eye doc today.
No joke, with my contacts out, they didn’t even bother trying to have me read the eye chart.
They held up fingers a few feet away from me. I knew it was between 1 and 5.
Beyond that, your guess is as good as mine.
2/
So, I have now bested what soft contact technology has to offer.
Out in the hallway, a conference takes place. In hushed tones, I hear them talking about how they couldn’t get me to better than maybe 20:40 or 20:50… WITH CONTACTS.
That sounded un-good.
3/
Side Note: Ever notice how my birding pictures are mainly of big birds? That’s because I can’t see the small ones.
Anyway, Doctor comes in… Now, bear in mind, I still had my contacts out and don’t have glasses, so I couldn’t see a thing during this consult…
4/
I have literally no idea what this doctor looks like. She sounded really nice though. I like her more than my last eye doc (who I *could* see).
Anyway, Dr comes in to talk with me…
In a highly empathetic tone like she is breaking bad news, she tells me I have cataracts.
5/
I am 51.
She’s go on to explain in the same empathetic tone that at some point I will need cataract surgery, yadda yadda but I shouldn’t worry because it’s largely routine and I don’t have to do that now and the risks are low and on and on.
I am not a panicker.
6/
I don’t get worked up about shit I don’t understand. I seek first to understand it.
After all “There will be time enough for counting when the dealing is done.”
Kenny Rogers sang that in “The Gambler”. It doesn’t really fit here but just feels right plus it’s a good song.
7/
So, Dr. Shah finishes pre-consoling me and I launch into a litany of clarifying questions.
- what does the surgery entail?
- what is the expected outcome?
- what if my vision worsens afterwards?
And she says “We open the cornea, remove your lens and replace it…”
8/
“…and can usually get someone to perfect correction… and that’s it barring unrelated issues like glaucoma.”
And then the fuzzy shape speaking warmly to me paused as if she had relayed a great deal of scary information and I said…
9/
“You mean to tell me, I have outpatient surgery and then have somewhere around 20:20 vision WITHOUT CONTACTS?!? MY GOD, CATARACTS SOUND AMAZING!! YES, SIGN ME UP FOR CATARACTS!”
Y’all, I pop a couple Xan and wake up able to read the clock radio.
Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me?
Cataracts, where have you been all my life?
Sweet fancy Moses.
Outpatient surgery! Great vision!
And I get to wear those big-ass sunglasses for a few days!
I don’t think they’re required but when in Rome.
11/
Anyhoo, I have cataracts.
And it won’t be tmrw but someday in the future, I am likely to have surgery and likely to emerge seeing better than I have since I was nine.
I could have hugged Dr. Shah but she was just a blurry shape and I couldn’t read the room.
Go, Cataracts!
//
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Putin had a whole plot engineered to give him a pretext for this invasion. It would start with a false flag and would then proceed to the invasion we just saw.
The explanation would have been that Ukraine is riddled with threats to Russia and Putin had no choice but to act.
2/
Biden stole that narrative out from under him though and left Putin with either the humiliation of retreat or trying to concoct some new rationale for pressing ahead.
Narcissism prevents a unilateral retreat. It would be an admission of having been wrong.
3/
My son and I do a thing where we scout “Best of…” food lists for new places, pick one, and make an outing of it. Barbecue, Latino food, ice cream shops, breakfast places.
Nothing fancy. Just good places that are new to us that we can make an outing of…
1/
These outings feel like little trips. Mini-adventures.
This morning, we did a breakfast run. Half-hour drive. Half-hour wait.
Sweet. Fancy. Moses.
Worth it. Delicious.
2/
Glazed pork belly bites on a stick.
Nacho omelette cups.
Pork roll, egg, and cheese egg rolls with cranberry ketchup.
Sitting with my son at an empty restaurant counter, the two of us drifting in and out of conversation as we tend to do.
An older woman walks up to me and says “Excuse me. Is this your son? I just wanted to say, you seem very comfortable with each other. It’s nice to see.”
1/
Let me tell you, that is among the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.
It is one thing to feel like you have a close, comfortable relationship with your child. It is another to have someone else tell you they can tell.
It was so out of the blue. And it made my day.
2/
And this wasn’t today. It was months ago.
I still think of it often.
I think it was that she saw us in the most regular of moments. We were there eating a casual bite, drifting in and out of being present, talking and then not, quiet and then talking some more.
3/
I can't even begin to tell you how many times some self-absorbed asshole has gone off on me like this while having no idea that my problems absolutely dwarfed their little drama they mistook for a crisis.
I hate people who do this.
For real, no joke, when my entire life was burning down, some person would just go off and then be like “I’m sorry. I’m just dealing with a lot right now.”
and it was never close to “a lot”.
It was always only *one* of the checkboxes on my list.
Always wanted to say:
“Ya ain’t the first to get divorced. Ya ain’t the first to have someone die. Ya ain’t the first to have crushing debt or lose your house or job. Ya ain’t even the first to have all of them at once. Your shit ain’t new, different or bigger.”