Thread by @GbengaWemimo

The pain just won’t go away, the pain that has lodged itself deep in my heart from the moment you decided it was over
You have your reasons, no doubt and they make sense, no doubt
And yet I weep and sigh
I tried calling you, you have blocked me
I tried chatting with you, you have

blocked me
Sometimes I just stare at your profile on Twitter for hours, wishing I could somehow conjure some life into your picture
I miss you sorely
Ji si ke…
Or is it Je si ke
That word you taught me and say often keeps ringing in my ears
What have I done?
Where have you gone?

I know I need to get you out of my system, but how
I have been trying everything I know so that I can get distracted
I wanted to forget, like the dead or like the mad man
And yet your consciousness stayed with me like a magnet
My heart is paining me, I swear
Why did I fall in

love with you
I knew the moment the American guy started calling that I was way out of my league
You have always desired to marry somebody living abroad
I remember the guy in Japan, the one that didn’t work out just before we met
I remember your lofty plans of studying abroad

I wish I had the means to sponsor your trip or even travel abroad with you but I cannot
Not now anyway
I knew you were way out of my league and was just chilling with me to while away time
I knew I was in 200 level when I approached you for your friendship
I knew you were studyin

for your M.Sc and wouldn’t wait for me
I knew you would have to leave sooner or later
So why do I hurt like this?
I have not been sleeping well, or even eating well
I cry, I cry myself to sleep and barely talk to people anymore
Everything lost taste without you

I check to see if you have unblocked me everyday
I know you said you were blocking me because I had become a distraction
I was supposed to be a bus stop, not a destination
I know this
I have been saying it to myself over and over hoping I would get it or understand but I only

hear the word
My heart still hurts
I long for you
Ha! I long to sit across the table from you and watch your dimples with delight again
I miss the way you walk without touching the floor
I miss your phone calls and your excited laughter
I miss that rolling of the eyes and the

Midnight prayers
Oh Lord, my God, please help me
Why does it hurt this way?
What can I do?
What can I do to make you come back or to stop the pain
You said I am too young but I am just four years younger than you
You said I am not from your tribe but how does that matter?
You

said I am not ready
You are right and yet I weep like this
It’s been two weeks, no three, and it feels so raw still
I sent you a text, searched for you on Facebook trying to see how I could meet with you and perhaps just say hello
You were quite thorough
I was blocked everywhere!

I was asked to write this by @GbengaWemimo
He said it will help in a way but I have spent this hour crying more than writing
You’re my best friend, my only friend and my beloved
I love you so much it hurts!
Chai
Love is painful
I will do anything to hold your hand again
To say I

Love you and watch you read
Hope your final project is gaining some speed
I miss you so much and I must say this: I understand.

PS: Tunde is writing to Mary as a form of therapy
I read it and I found it quite nice to read
Hope you find it interesting too

-GSW-