My company needed a warehouse and there were no warehouses in Austin so I decided to build one.
I found a nice plot of land that was on the same highway as Tesla (and now near the new Samsung development) and said "this is where we will build!"
Unfortunately, I have zero experience doing this.
After we got some land under contract (I know. It's beautiful.) I literally had to call my broker and ask "So what do I do now?"
"You need a civil engineer."
That was news to me because I had just googled "what does an architect do" and I thought I had everything buttoned up.
That was not the case.
As I was calling around, I kept on hearing about this company (technically, in Texas, it's called a SUD) called Jonah Water.
Everyone seemed to hate them.
They were our water provider. While this land was "under contract" I needed to figure out if we could get water.
When you have land under contract, typically you get 90 days to figure out if you want to go through the transaction.
This is longer than the typical house purchase.
I guess the reason behind this is that land is more complicated to evaluate.
Anyways, by the end of the 90 days, it wasn't really clear if we could...get water.
This didn't make any sense to me because I've had water everywhere I've ever been in the US.
Neighbors had water too.
How could we not have water?
I wanted to make sure before we made this massive commitment to building a warehouse on our strip of land so I went to Jonah Water and had a face to face.
"We're going to get you water."
And we shook hands.
Cool.
And we closed on the property.
Now we own the land and we're going to build, so it's time for us to get this water company to agree to our plans and give us water.
They asked us to pay for a engineer's study.
After 50 days we got the results.
Huh that's weird. We can't get water.
So I asked what this meant and was informed that we had been approved for the first meter and that our contract would be coming shortly.
After 70 days of regular e-mail follow ups and calls, we got the contract (which seems to be identical to what everyone gets but with our name on it).
Let's break down what they want us to pay:
$5,000 per LUE. LUE is a living unit equivalent. It's the amount of water estimated needed for a house.
We're building a warehouse and we need almost no water.
Doesn't matter, they tell us how much water we need and it will be 20 LUEs which is $100,000.
Ok then.
The water line is literally on our property so I have no idea why they need this money, but okay $100k, we'll make it work.
Now they want 2% of the total buildout.
They're also going to need these other fees.
I estimate the full cost to be $150,000 to $250,000 to connect the water line (we also have to pay for all the construction and water separately).
But wait, there's more.
And after you pay for all this stuff, they own what you built.
And they're going to need all these fees paid in advance
And after you pay all that money, there is no guarantee that they actually provide you with water.
Yes you read that right.
Oh yeah, every 5 years you get to do it all again.
Surely this must just be a misunderstanding or just their opening negotiation position?
Nope. The contract is not negotiable.
It's good to be the king.
Or more accurately, it's good to be a monopoly water provider in an undeveloped part of Texas where there are no alternatives besides...
Building a well.
So that is what we are going to try to do.
We're going to try to build a well to get water to our buildings. The problem is, if you have more than 25 employees on site, you qualify as a Texas Water system (what Jonah is) and you have to
do crazy amounts of regulatory work in order to operate.
In summary, what did I do wrong?
1. I assumed that we could get water. 2. I assumed that we'd be able to work something out based on a handshake 3. I then assumed that the water procurement process wouldn't take forever
4. I should've listened to the red flags that were everywhere and either gotten a written commitment from Jonah or pulled out of the project. Assume makes an "ass" out of "u" and "me" as they say.
Now that sucks for us, but, we're not the only ones footing this bill!
We were going to bring a lot of jobs to the area and so were many other companies.
But Jonah Water, by shaking us down for $100,000s is preventing that from happening.
So fewer jobs, less development, which means less tax dollars for gov't agencies Texas needs to function!
I hope @PUCTX@TCEQ@wilcogov@GregAbbott_TX can read this and do something about it, not just for us, but for all the other companies who want to bring jobs to Texas, or the people who want to move to Texas, too!
This guy has made more money than any other lawyer, all through contingency cases. Heβs known as the greatest trial attorney of all time. The book is so so but there are some good nuggets in here.
Iβd recommend it for anyone about to go to trial for the first time, as we may be π³/end
1. Why did I give Zelensky the nom de guerre "hollywood"? Because he used to be an actor. 2. Why do I think he subjected his nation to war? Because he chose NOT to negotiate before the war and downplayed its likelihood of occurring.
3. Why did I make fun of Instagram game? Because he's an actor so this is his area of expertise, but also because as I expressed earlier, this is not a winnable war for Ukraine, so you can do all the propaganda videos you want, it's better to surrender to minimize loss of life.
I think my followers are a little tired about hearing about Ukraine from me, so I'm going to return to our usual programming:
I have a penis infection.
Time for a thread π§΅π
I went to the doctor today and I got into the examination room and a nurse (female) came in and, because I had written "suspected penis infection" when I booked the appointment, she knew.
And she started to ask me about it.
And well...
I started to think she was going to examine it!
And this, well, I think the technical term is "boner"...
I got a boner.
And then she went to take my blood pressure.
And my heart is beating realllllll fast, I'm thinking to myself:
Hey @robert_zubrin@NRO, I'm going to need a citation and apology for your rewriting of my 3 tweet thread and my followers' replies into your article, which cited neither.
1/4
It's based on the same concept and uses the same terminology.
2/4
And the article is structured in the same way as my 3 tweets.
What the Russian invasion of Ukraine means for the world going forward:
1. Volatility begets volatility. When something crazy happens, the chance that other crazy things will happen goes up. It's not a coincidence that Canada is freezing peoples' assets and Russia invaded
Ukraine after the most significant event in most of our lives, Covid. To give an example of why things like this happen, other countries around the world may look at what Russia did and say "Wow, I can do that." and when they do, we get another significant event.
2. It's an invitation for China to take Taiwan. China can do the same exact strategy as Russia. Instead of massing troops in Belarus, Crimea, and Donbass, the Chinese can (they'll need some time for naval improvement) just mass boats, missiles, etc and then just swallow Taiwan.
My company won an appeal in the 5th circuit court of appeals (on all counts).
That's a very good thing, but unfortunately, it's not a precedential decision, meaning it can be cited, but it is not binding.
If I had known that was a possibility I might've settled.
1/3
The best part of the case was a very big Chinese seller using this as their address with Amazon.
And they had the balls to appeal the decision against them on the basis that we didn't properly serve them when we actually went to this address to find an older white woman.