Aella Profile picture
Mar 7 5 tweets 1 min read
Which rules do you use to evaluate sexual consent? In my rape survey, I found four main rule spectrums people seemed to fall on when evaluating rapeyness.

(You can be high or low on all of them, or high on just a few)

THREAD:
1. External motivation - How much motivation for the sex is not about the sex itself (e.g., getting paid, or making a partner happy) vs purely because of horniness? Some people view external motivation as clearly more consent-violatey than others.
2. Mental capacity - how much are you aware of what you're doing and the implications, going to endorse your actions later on, are of sound mind, sober, etc.? Some people have a lot more leniency for varied mental states, and others only find a narrow range to be consentable.
3. Conditional consent - how much is consent invalid given conditions are violated? If you consented to sex given that someone is wealthy, or uses condoms, or is of of your preferred gender, how much of a consent violation is it if they don't actually meet those conditions?
4. Victim mentality - how much the emotional/mental state of the receiver matters to determining if consent was violated; e.g. if someone doesn't mind (or enjoys) if boundaries were pushed, how much does this impact how you evaluate the consentiness? For some people, it's a lot!

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More from @Aella_Girl

Mar 10
I've spent a lot of time way deep in the psychedelic sauce and came out very permanently altered, but I seem to have somehow missed all the altered beliefs that seem to happen to many others who do a lot of eXtreme, experimental introspection. Why is this? 1/14
I don't think this is because I have any mystical virtue; maybe I just have genetics that mixed just right with a practice that accidentally avoided lots of the pitfalls that result in woo beliefs. But these are all guesses - I'd like to know why! 2/
I'm not against woo beliefs in principle, but I do think the rigor required for me to adopt a woo belief would sort of make it no longer woo. As in, I've had a powerful, direct experience of an Entity on psychedelics, but this is insufficient to make me believe in entities. 3/
Read 14 tweets
Feb 24
Completely agreed with Spencer here. Probably the thing I've learned the most throughout my thousands of questions and feedback is exactly this - and despite my experience, I still find it very hard to guarantee question design that definitely won't hit any of these problems. 1/
I've also had the experience of reading about studies or measures, and then when I see their actual questions I am shocked at how easily misinterpretable they are. Regularly they use questions I would never ever use in my own research. 2/
I thought for a while that they must have their reasons, it's gotta make sense somehow, they can't be just that bad at question design.
But lately I'm starting to suspect they just outright *are* bad at it? Which freaks me out a bit and feels like it has huge implications. 3/
Read 4 tweets
Feb 2
THREAD: Male sexual energy I like vs male sexual energy I do not like
(these are examples, not absolute, just an attempt at pinning down a loose thing)

1/6
I DO NOT LIKE (in social gatherings):
*positions himself directly facing me, especially if blocking view/flow of others
*seems to agree with me too much, or
*does 'performative' disagreements; stuff that feels not-important or like he doesn't 'really' believe it
2/6
*seems both afraid of bringing up sex work and also interested in bringing it up at the same time
*downplays things about himself he thinks i might not like
*looks at me more than others, but also gives off like... sheepish vibes about it? like if i pointed it out he'd deny
3/6
Read 6 tweets
Jan 26
WOULD YOU STOP PPL FROM BEING BORN: A THREAD
--
Do you have ADHD? || If you press the button, no person with ADHD is ever born again (or develops ADHD through other means), though existing people are left unchanged. Do you press the button?
Are you overweight? || If you press the button, no person who becomes overweight (unless they decide to be and actively try) is ever born again, though existing people are left unchanged. Do you press the button?
Are you autistic? || If you press the button, no person with autism is ever born again (or become autistic through other means), though existing people are left unchanged. Do you press the button?
Read 17 tweets
Jan 24
A computer screen has clear info you can engage with, but the circuit boards shooting 1s & 0s everywhere have no info we can interact with; it makes no sense to say something like "oh, more 0s came out of this corner of the board, does this correspond to mom emailing me?" 1/
I feel similarly about very deep psychedelic experiences or very young childhood; something is going on, that *does* end up corresponding to something meaningful, but it's occurring at such a different plane of meaning that squinting at it with computer-screen eyes is useless. 2/
So I'm sus about things that try to connect current psychological states to your birth experience, or thinking you could do good communication with someone blazed on psychedelics. Seems full of projection to me, viewing through a lens you aren't aware you have. 3/
Read 4 tweets
Jan 22
You do not have ownership over other people's behavior! They have no inherent obligation to you, and you have no right to demand they behave differently than they want to.
You *can* create boundaries around you own behavior - e.g. "if you make me feel bad, I'll leave"
Other people's right to their behavior does *not* extend to violating other people's rights to theirs; as in, people do not have the right to sexually assault you. Your property, your bodily autonomy, these basic things all 'protected classes' in my eyes.
But besides this:
Your pain is your responsibility, it is created by you, owned by you. Because it's your responsibility, it's also your *right* - you have an unquestionable right to it, it is inherently valid, and nobody can tell you you shouldn't have it.
Read 6 tweets

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