Thread by @izukusbones

i didn’t get the promotion i really thought i stood a good chance of getting. honestly i’m crushed. it shouldn’t be that big of a deal but i am so upset, crying in a bathroom at work, like a brat. i shouldn’t feel so sad.

i just don’t know what’s wrong with me. all this shit happening all at once. things never seem to work out for me and it’s heartbreaking and frustrating. it feels like i can’t win at anything anymore. i just want something good to happen.

when i was little, i came up with this idea that the universe had a balance. equal of good and bad things happen. logically, i know that it doesn’t work like that, but i keep saying ‘it’ll get better’ ‘give it time’ ‘see how it is next week/next month/next year’.

it doesn’t change. nothing changes. i’ve fucked my life over and it just feels like there isn’t much of a point. i just want something good to happen, and on sunday i thought that thing was finally coming but it was destroyed by monday. and i was like,

“okay, job promotion coming up, maybe this means i got it” and nope. didn’t get it. i’m pretty sure the girl who hates my guts got it. the stress i’m under is ungodly, but i know it isn’t changing. i’m just defeated right now. things haven’t truly been right since 2020.

i’m starting to wonder, maybe it doesn’t get better.