Thread by @Salisburyrovers

It's been #IWD2022 this week.

A fairly muted response in football but there's been other stuff going on in the world.

I've run this club for 6 years. Has anything really changed? @WomeninFootball @HerGameToo

I've a right to speak out - whether you listen is up to you 1/

Recently, I was mentoring young coaches in an u18 game.

One lad told me after the game that the ref had said to the players 'stop acting like girls'.

One of the lads said 'that's sexist'.

Yes. It is.

Not sure?

Replace it with a racial description.

It needs to STOP. 2/

I'm a woman running a club, coaching, with a predominantly female committee.

I get invited by the FA to attend a 'female friendly club' workshop.

What does 'female friendly' even mean?

It's not a choice.

WE are not optional.

Has the FA ever asked women like me?

NO.

3/

The FA sets targets for women on boards etc.

So as long as you've got a woman, even seconded from out of the area, it doesn't matter. Your governance box is ticked.

How does this change culture?

It doesn't.

Let's tackle the culture.Let me tell you how that looks 4/

Some examples:

⚽️ a coach suggesting I stay off the field & talk to parents while the men get on with coaching.
⚽️ Answering DMS with my name to be told - sorry I was after the coach, what's HIS name.
⚽️Being told 'you don't sound like a lady on twitter'

5/

Being asked
⚽️ ''have you ever actually coached?'
⚽️ 'what age girls' team do you coach?'
⚽️ 'this must be different from your girls' teams eh?' [I've never coached a girls' only team btw]
⚽️do you wash the kit?
⚽️'do you understand the rules love?'

6/

What does it feel like?

⚽️Isolating
⚽️ Relentless
⚽️ Unsupported
⚽️Voiceless
⚽️Diminishing
⚽️Demeaning
⚽️Excluded

'Female friendly 'makes me feel second class not empowered

We can do so much better. 7/

How can we do better?

First, big shout out to all the male allies who call this crap out. I couldn't exist, our club couldn't exist, without your constant encouragement and support.

Second, The FA needs to collect real data on this. Every other big organisation does. 8/

Third, The FA needs to use that data effectively & include women in discussing how to tackle these problems. Not just jump to tick boxes exercises for sponsors or funders. Really involve from the ground up.

There should be NOTHING ABOUT US WITHOUT US!

This is 2022 not 1922

9/

Fourth, change the language.

Stop the nonsense with 'ladies' teams' and the 'ladies' game' or in fact any talk of ladies at all.

Sorry if this upsets anyone ... well actually I'm not.

But here's the truth.....we are WOMEN! 10/

Fifth, using 'girl' as term of abuse is SEXIST & should be dealt with as such. Train County FA staff to understand implicit/explicit bias so you don't get 'he didn't mean it like that' responses.
We're quick enough to sanction for not filing results.
CALL IT OUT! 11/

Sixth, so what can we do personally?

My personal test is always - would they say that/do that if I was a man?

So:

Would you pass that test in your conduct and speech?

12/

Some don'ts

❌Don't sit in meetings laughing when women talk (note to self one senior member of @EnglandFootball staff)

❌Don't tell women they're imagining it.

❌Don't tell women how they should respond or what to think

❌Don't mansplain

13/

Some do's

✅call out sexism. Don't just stand by. This includes 'girls' as a term of abuse
✅listen rather than just tell women what they should be thinking/doing
✅reflect on how you see women and girls in the game. Do you make assumptions? Have you asked for views

14/

If you've got this far, thanks for listening.

The sad reality though is that many won't. They'd prefer to see the game as doing 'enough' or as not in need od change,

But glossy photos do not an inclusive game make

Let's get real and review for IWD2023. 15/