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Do we confuse being child-centred/led with being nice to children? Do we need to explore the difference? Paternalism and autonomy are different. We need to understand both and where we stand on the continuum between them at any given time.
Shall we share some things we have learnt?
1. Kids don’t care about your coaching qualifications, or how much you think you know about football. Adults do. Kids don’t. They care about your support and whether they like you. Just say that again. Kids don’t care about what you think you know.
2. Offer a meet and greet. Treat kids as you would adults you meet. Don’t dive in with - this is what we are doing. You wouldn’t do that with an adult. Ask them about their week. They will do this without prompting each week if you get it right. Then the fun begins!
3. Understand that football is play, a game, especially when kids are young. Adults care about teams and kits and leagues. Kids love matches but it’s adults who believe this must look like a ‘proper’ league.
4. The ball is a toy. Don’t expect kids to share it.
5. Don’t expect compliance. They are not at school. This is their free time. They are not ‘wasting your own time’ if they want to talk to friends. Create a culture of mutual engagement and respect. It takes time but it’s better then constant nagging which destroys fun
6. Ask kids for their opinions. This isn’t a boring forum. It’s a dialogue. They will share naturally if the environment is right. Ask if they enjoyed the session. They will come to expect this if you do and want to share. You will learn a lot from this 👍
7. Ask kids for ideas for adaptions and progressions but if they’re happy playing & say they don’t want to change the game, let them get on with it. Fun drives engagement. Learning is embedded in play. Never try and make a happy child happier.
8. If kids are asking ‘when are we doing a match’ - reflect. Are you boring them? Yes it’s a tough question. But they don’t turn up on Saturdays for your session plan & they don’t care about your coaching philosophy. Sorry. They want to play. Fit in with that!
9. Don’t be afraid of going off plan! Relax! If kids are living your session and laughing, they will be learning. That’s the way play works. Warning; some parents may not like it but that’s the way that works too 🤷♀️
10. Plan for the kids in front of you. Be age appropriate. 7 year olds do not need to learn about ‘defending as a unit’. The principles of play are dead simple from an early age. Got the ball - can you score? Haven’t got the ball - can we steal it back?
11. No kid wants to be a feeder or stood in a line. Or in a coned box. Ever. Just say that again. No kid wants to be a feeder. ... Adapt the plan
12. Ask the kids what the game is about. Let them show you.
13. Kids can organise their own team set ups from the youngest age groups. And they can come up with great ideas! Give them the space to do this.
14. At half times, let them reflect. They will know what needs changing anc what they’re doing well if you have created the right environment. Believe in them. Respect them.
15. Kids understand football. Especially teenagers. Their experience on the pitch is your guide. You are just a bystander. Good communication. Real ownership. Creativity. All come from genuine empowerment. When someone asks - have they even got a coach, you’re winning!
16. Be bold. Kids care about winning and results but once you do, you’re losing focus. Connect with other coaches whose priority is coaching not poaching. Good coaches coach all kids and are not in it for the cups. You know it makes sense!
17. Don’t differentiate between ‘serious’ football for those kids who have ‘talent’ and ‘a bit of fun’ for everyone else. This is dangerous and will encourage premature professionalisation. Kids are kids no matter how good you think they are at football.
18. The best do not need to play with the best week in week out to ‘develop’ There is much to be learnt in terms of resilience, ownership, leadership and skill from mixed development levels. Learning. Is. Non-linear. Let them all play. They will surprise you.
19. Kids will take their lead. Their attitude from the adults around them. If you criticise them. They will stop taking risks. If you prioritise results, they will too. Be the adult!
20. You’ve got to be in it to win it. Everyone loses when kids drop out. Stop shouting at them. You don’t want someone coming into your workplace and yelling ‘effort’ or ‘work’. Just so you know. This is never a positive where kids are concerned and it’s NOT coaching 😀⚽️👍
21. Kids are not empty vessels to be filled with coaching wisdom. Your truth is not theirs. The game holds no absolutes. Your 'right' answers may suppress creativity and exploration and the ability to figure the pictures in the game out independently when you are not there.
