I have some sympathy for the @Okta corporate comms team. After all, the @awscloud PR playbook isn't really an option for them.
But perhaps mine will be? A thread.
I paid @acvisneski (my crisis comms consultant) to prepare a handbook for what to do in the event of an actual crisis. Chapter 1 may be of some interest: "Don't stick your dick in a pie." Let's read it together, much like I read my children bedtime stories.
And see, this is why she's the expert and not me; I've already run afoul of Step 1, "Don't refer to a crisis as sticking your dick in a pie."
Oops. So far, so good for you though.
Step 2: If you *do* find your dick stuck in a pie, apologize.
If it's not your pie, go directly to Step 4.
Step 3: If it is your pie, take responsibility and explain how you're going to remove your dick and make things right.
This is where you folks kinda dropped the ball. You've gotta own the pie and the dick here!
Step 4 is ideally a step you won't need to take. Because honestly? Don't be trash!
Chapter 2 "Don't bare your butt to a bear" and Chapter 3 "So you fucked around and found out" are available upon request. Hope this helps!
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I'm at the AWS Summit in NYC, where I believe that nicknames are for friends--and Gennifer Artificial Intelligence is no friend of mine.
Good morning.
Thirsty much?
A game / challenge at the AWS Startups booth: how long can an AWS employee go without mentioning GenAI? Someone just made it all the way to one minute, ten seconds!
Okay. Let's do Networking Specialty. Practice question 1:
Correct answer is B.
"Wrong!" says the answer key, "it's B because network load balancers don't support client IP preservation."
Except that they do. They absolutely do. They have for the past year. I'm just a boy, standing in front of an AWS Cert team, asking them to do their damn jobs.
Today's cloud marketing story is called "The Tale of Hot Rebecca," and is a truthful recounting of dinner last night.
Strap in; it's a fun ride.
Back in my early 20s, I had a number of friends / acquaintances in my (primarily Jewish) social circle named "Rebecca." It was kind of a problem.
("Can't we spray for them?"
"…not since the 1940s.")
So every Rebecca got an adjective, much like the seven dwarves. One of them asked me once what her adjective was, and I responded in a fit of unadulterated honesty, "you're Hot Rebecca" because honestly? Damn.
Made it to the #GoogleCloudNext keynote seating finally. Let's see how this goes now that the world is starting to wake up to a "much of the AI hype is unwarranted" reality.
Boeing: "HOW ARE THEY DOING IT?!"
Airbus: "We bought a torque wrench?"
Boeing: "No, how are you being a featured customer testimonial at #GoogleCloudNext?"
Airbus: "Oh, that? We made a strategic decision to not be walking poster children for corporate negligence."
And now, some DevOps / SRE / Sysadmin / Ops / ENOUGH already tips I learned from early in my career--brought to us by our friends at Chex™ Mix. All of these are great ideas that you should implement immediately...
DNS is notoriously unreliable, so use configuration management to sync all of the servers' /etc/hosts files. Boom, no more single point of failure.
Future-proofing is an early optimization, so don't do it. Every network should be a /24 because that's how developers think. I mean come on, what are the odds you'll ever have more than 253 hosts in a network?
And the Amazon earnings are out for Q4. A miss on @awscloud revenue by $20 million because analysts didn't expect one of you to turn off a single Managed NAT Gateway.
Let's explore deeper into their press release.
For 2023, AWS sold $90.8 billion of services, most of which were oversized EC2 instances because you all refuse to believe Compute Optimizer when it tells you there are savings to be had if you're just a smidgen more reasonable.
Word frequency in the earnings release:
Customer: 87
Employee: 11
Generative: 16
Cloud: 24
Serverless: 3
DynamoDB: 2
Union: 0