Thread by @DollyResist

Two cardboard boxes are cheaper than shoes and will last a child all week if they avoid playing football. #HowToriesThink

https://twitter.com/IsabelOakeshott/status/865112953376395265

A bin bag full of leaves is cheaper than a mattress and will last all week if you don't move while sleeping. #HowToriesThink

Poor people could always wash in puddles. #HowToriesThink

Children whose parents can't afford a kite, should watch leaves fall from trees and pretend. #HowToriesThink

Poor people could live in a tent and pretend they're camping. #HowToriesThink

If it came to the crunch and there was only enough food for one, the Tory would eat and let his family starve. #HowToriesThink

Tories don't sleep at night; they worry about their investment portfolio while hanging from the rafters using little spurs which grow from their heels. 🦇 #HowToriesThink

Tories claimed pandemic schools must be kept open for the sake of children, but their own report said 300,000 more children would be shifted into poverty by the £20/week cut to Universal Credit in April 2021. #HowToriesThink They did it anyway. childrenscommissioner.gov.uk/wp-content/upl…

To deflect from vicious cost rises, Tories regurgitate the lie that they seek to level the playing field but hold us in such disdain they just copy from Wikipedia & publish that... #HowToriesThink They don't, they literally copy policy from Wikipedia... independent.co.uk/news/uk/politi…

Thinking Tories will stop taking Russian millionaires' money misunderstands Tories, millionaires and money. #HowToriesThink

Relying on Tories to do the honourable thing & #SackBorisJohnson rather than continually hedge their bets based on which way the wind is blowing was always a non-starter. Their career is more important than morality. #HowToriesThink

We are the Magic Money Tree. Tories have always known this, it's time the rest of us realised it too... #HowToriesThink

There is not a danger that the Tories might drift into fascism, they are doing it deliberately, steering that course on purpose because they believe the times demand it. #HowToriesThink theguardian.com/politics/2022/…

We have a lot to learn from Tories - they always play the long game (looking centuries ahead!). #HowToriesThink

Example: seed the BBC newsroom with Tories, jettison all pretence at balance. Result: the Left joins demands we #DefundTheBBC.

What Tories really believe is that ‘human stock’ is sullied by ‘weakness,’ represented by failure to succeed on their narrow terms (financially independent, employer not employed, owner not owned). They'd advocate eugenics & euthanasia if they thought they could get away with it.

If you find a Tory choking, feed 'em sprouts. Only joking... Stand on their neck.

Poor families can eat out by visiting bins behind takeaways and licking packaging wrappers. #HowToriesThink

Homeless people would be happier if they just pretended they were having a night out. #HowToriesThink

If you can't afford a 50' flat screen TV or subscriptions, stare at the sky in a puddle and pretend. #HowToriesThink

I wonder what Currie's expression was as she added that emoticon... #HowToriesThink