When I saw I could get the COVID vaccine early, I almost didn’t take it. Not because I felt I was rigging the system, but out of fear of someone asking how I got it. I’ve been wearing a different kind of mask since long before the pandemic. 1/9
Although I always knew I was different, it wasn’t until 5th grade that I finally thought to ask my parents why I had hours of therapy each week and a shadow at school. It was then I learned of my diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder (formerly called Asperger’s Syndrome). 2/9
The label felt like a badge of shame - and for years the mere mention of the word “Autism" sent shivers down my spine. Even when I outgrew my shadow at school, it was like she was replaced by an internal voice constantly reminding me of ways I was embarrassing myself. 3/9
Sometimes I have vivid flashbacks of incredibly awkward interactions from my past that I wish I could just do over. I’m not sure if anyone else even remembers these moments, but the flashbacks make me worry about any discomfort and unintentional harm I may have caused. 4/9
Up until about a month ago, I tried to repress these memories and distract myself from them as quickly as possible. But one day I came across an incredible resource from @mykola, whose words and stories helped me find my own voice and begin my journey toward self-acceptance. 5/9
Until now, it was always hard to see #AutismAcceptanceMonth posts pop up around my birthday - a harsh reminder of the inescapable shame. The message I had internalized was not to attend to what I needed, but instead, to what I needed to do to fit in. 6/9
But everything I’ve learned this past year has made me realize that there’s nothing to be ashamed of. This #AutismAcceptanceMonth, I’ve decided it's time to take off the mask. I am autistic. 7/9
I’m still the same person I always have been, but I hope these words will help you understand me a little better. If you have any questions, please don't be afraid to ask. And more importantly, I pray that my story can one day help someone else to find their own voice. 8/9
Finally, I want to acknowledge my privilege of having a loving, caring, and accepting family who has always supported me. I’d be nowhere without them, and I hope to advocate for a future where people of all abilities have the resources they need to thrive. 9/9