Luci Olivia Profile picture
Apr 23 11 tweets 9 min read
In the past 6 weeks, I have read over 2000 pages and provided over 100 pages of feedback on pilots, features & shorts.

Within the writing itself, here are the 9 most common issues I saw -

#screenwriting #screenwriter #writing #writingtips #WritingCommunity #screenplay #teleplay
#1/9: USING BLAND VERBS

Looks, walks, laughs, smiles, enters, exits, leaves - these are all bland verbs that don’t tell us anything about the character.

Instead, use: glances, peers, strides, ambles, giggles, cackles etc

#screenwriter #WritingCommunity #screenwriting
#2/9: PITCH & PLOT THAT DON’T MATCH UP

If you set your plot, stakes, antag & protag up well in the logline, don’t spend most of the narrative to get to that point

It feels like a bait and switch and will make people put it down

#screenwriting #writing #logline #screenwriter
#3/9: SLUG LINES - AFTERNOON / MORNING / DAWN / DUSK

Keep the slug lines to DAY or NIGHT.

If the time of day is integral to the story, this can be shown in the action.

Eg: ‘The sun sets on…’

#sluglines #writer #writing #screenwriting
#4/9: SLUG LINES - BLOATED

INT. HOTEL ROOM - THE RITZ HOTEL - LONDON - 1997 - DAY
This example has too much info.

Consider what is relevant to the story and keep it simple:
INT. OPULENT HOTEL ROOM - DAY

#screenwritingtips #sluglines #slugline
#5/9: SLUG LINES - INCORRECT USE OF CONTINUOUS

Continuous should only be used if the characters move from one location to another but keep the same scene going.

Make sure you're using it correctly

#screenwriting #sluglines #scriptwriting
#6/9: OVERDIRECTING THE DIALOGUE

Don’t overuse ellipsis, parenthesis, underlining, bold, (beat)s, interjections, or similar to explain exactly how you want an actor to deliver a line.

If the writing is clear - which is your job - then they will deliver it well

#screenwriter
#7/9: CHARACTERS LOOKING AT EACH OTHER

‘He turns to her’
‘She faces him’
‘He looks at her’
‘She looks in his eyes’

Actors will look at each other when they talk.

Only use these directions if your characters aren’t looking at each other. Otherwise, it's bloat.

#writingtips
#8/9: TENSE

There was not one script where the writer stayed in the correct tense.

- Characters sit, they aren’t sitting.
- They smile, they aren’t smiling.
- They laugh, they aren’t laughing.

Check all your action lines today.

#screenwriting #screenwriter
#9/9: POOR DESCRIPTIONS

You’ve got a rare moment to tell us about the character.
Don’t use:

TIM (30), a good man (- bland)
TIM (30), handsome but rugged (- physical only)
TIM (30) waits at a bus stop (- no info)

And please don't describe women as 'good-looking for her age'

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