Thread by @iMusing

short thread on two days in the life of two men who meritocracy mythology tells us are, by definition, the apex of Liberal and National Party talent and *hard work* lmao two men who are breathlessly promoted by press gallery journalists as master political campaigners.

on Sunday, National Party leader and deputy prime minister and formerly disgraced National Party leader and deputy prime minister Barnaby Joyce complained on #Insiders that his political opponents are campaigning with different messages in different seats.

that #Insiders episode was broadcast from Gladstone in the seat of Flynn where the Davids and friends dutifully shared concerns of “people” who work in coal and cattle and feel for the tuff coupla years Scott Morrison has had maaaate.

by people, they mean white men who voted Labor or Nats a generation ago and now vote LNP but lean UAP/PHON. That is the Morrison focus, thus it is the #Insiders focus. But I digress. Turns out Barnaby was spilling his guts about LNP strategy and giving himself a big wedgie.

happily for Barnaby, whose incoherent rambling is repackaged as retail politics genius™️ by legacy media because he is clickable cheap copy which serves their business model, the local LNP candidate Colin Boyce (not a Brangelina mashup, that it is his actual name) was listening.

then Boyce - the LNP candidate for Flynn not B Joyce the formerly disgraced and current leader of the National Party and deputy prime minister - bless ‘im committed the cardinal LNP campaign sin. He tells the truth about Coalition policy.

the net zero whatsithing has wriggle room, says Boyce. There is no legislation, says he. This feature of the announcement of a plan that was hurriedly rushed out by Morrison because international pressure was widely reported at the time.
Boyce, an LNP candidate, is not lying.

Idk if C Boyce or B Joyce former protege Matt Canavan are smart enough to tag team the mess they then made but poor old Matt - who fell from grace for backing the wrong horse in 2018 and for whatever reason could not remount in 2021 - jumped into the fray. On Sky, of course.

oh wait I said short thread sorry brevity is not my forte. In my defence I am context queen and btw it is raining again here 🌧

poor old Matt is the bloke who smears coal on his pores like a Paltrow grift and uses CGI hammers as his zoom backdrop. He was reportedly once as bright a young thing as Frydenberg is said to have been but seems like joining a Coalition party makes people demonstrably dimmer.

before he ran away from the photo opp masquerading as campaigning that legacy media inexplicably admire instead of getting the shits with being played, Coalition Party leader Scott Morrison explained that C Boyce was not, himself, talking. His garblish was, as always, edited.

meanwhile other Coalition media favourites like “dumped” Dave Sharma were pretending that the intractable divisions bifurcating from Sydney Liberals across the federal Coalition in every state and territory do not make the incumbents unelectable. It does tho. At every level.

Joyce spills the LNP strategy beans on national telly. Morrison can not manage factions in his home town, let alone NSW or Austraya. They can not agree on an emissions target. Every other day they hold more power than anyone else in the entire nation. But not on 21 May 2022.