Thread by @M_X_F

My kids are 3 and 5. Since I started as Vice Principal (full time), several people have asked “how do you do it with your kids?” As it seems to be so popular a question, I thought I’d write a little THREAD 🧵 to answer and hopefully show it may not be as hard as it sounds… 1/

Out of interest, I asked my SLT colleague who has 5 children whether people often asked him "how he does it?" The (unsurprising) answer? No. They do ask his wife though (also a deputy head…) @MaternityCPD #MTPTProject @WomenEd @DiverseEd2020 @SLTchat 2/

Before I start I’d like to take my hat off to anyone who does this while solo-parenting. It can be done and I know people who do it but I’ll wager it’s several levels up in the difficulty stakes. I know not everyone is lucky enough to have the support I mention below. 3/

So how do I do it? First answer is childcare: long hours at nursery; for school, breakfast club, after school club: features of primary school which we are very grateful for. ‘Oh what a long day for the children,’ some say. ‘They're used to it.’ I reply. No guilt there./4

Second is family. Of course. With my new job, my partner now does 7/10 pick ups and drop offs. I do 3/10. I wish it was more equitable but even with wraparound care our eldest is only covered 8.10-5.30 & my school day doesn't always fit. Having a non-teacher partner helps. 5/

To balance it out I do the majority of childcare in the school holidays - I absolutely love and relish this time with them and we have a lot of fun. @MaternityCPD #MTPTProject @WomenEd @DiverseEd2020 @SLTchat 6/

Next: unexpected reasons why being on SLT might be easier than classroom teacher or HOD. At my last school, having no form meant the head could allow me to drop off my kids 1 day/week and arrive in time for p1. He kindly didn’t timetable me for p1, without reducing my pay. 7/

Having fewer teaching classes also means I can manage my own time a bit more than average - and I don’t have as much pressure of constant lesson planning and marking - which is arguably as time consuming as leadership work. @MaternityCPD #MTPTProject @WomenEd @SLTchat 8/

That said I do need to stay until 6pm every week for leadership meetings on Tuesdays, but this has been planned into our family routine since I first started in SLT with my first born aged 7 months, so is not an issue. @MaternityCPD #MTPTProject @WomenEd @SLTchat 9/

I'm also lucky to have healthy, helpful parents living nearby. They don't want to make a regular weekly commitment but are happy to help in various circumstances: including when child had different term dates, and several parents evenings recently. @MaternityCPD #MTPTProject 10/

For some questioners, the issue is not having enough time with their children. I love my kids to the moon and back but genuinely do feel I get a good amount of quality time with them: holidays are fab, and weekends especially Saturdays are golden. @MaternityCPD #MTPTProject 11/

Even on late days I’ll usually see them for ~an hour before bed, & when I pickup I’ve got a good 2 hours to hear about their day, give them a bath, etc. Parents’ evenings/other evening events I will miss their bedtime but it’s worth it to have a rewarding career which I love. 12/

1 benefit of being a senior leader with young children is the ability to empathise with other staff in this situation and preempt issues in SLT plans before they go through (of course those without children can also empathise. But sometimes there’s a detail…) @MaternityCPD 13/

I am also glad to be able to model for others that it is possible, if you want it, and having a young family needn’t hold you back. @MaternityCPD #MTPTProject @WomenEd @DiverseEd2020 @SLTchat 14/

At this point I’ll declare my support for PART TIME LEADERSHIP. We have to enable this in our teams and normalise it wherever possible. One of our assistant principals works 3/5 days and she’s brilliantly effective on those days. @MaternityCPD @WomenEd @DiverseEd2020 @SLTchat 15/

I’m happy to be full time - I’d find being in school for fewer days more stressful (even harder to schedule meetings than it currently is!) and was not keen on the financial penalty - but I support it for others and believe it can make happy, successful teams at any level. 16/

Ultimately any job is a juggle for any parent (of any gender). But progression + young children = 👌🏾 if it’s something you want and feel you can do. There’s (almost) always a way! Any questions feel free to drop me a line. @MaternityCPD @WomenEd @DiverseEd2020 @SLTchat 17/

I’d be interested to hear from others - does it get easier or harder as your kids get older? I’ve heard some say they need you more when they’re a teen, so wonder what that’ll be like… @maternityCPD @WomenEd @SLTchat @DiverseEd2020 #edutwitter

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