TW/CW: real sex talk

we're talking about sex and #purityculture today folks so pull up a chair. I need to spill a couple of things that have been going through my brain the last couple of days... 1/?
1. let's talk about "virginity loss shame" bc after all the purity messaging, did anyone else open the sex door and then go, "well, i've already fallen to the pit of hell by doing the worst thing ever & there's no way to undo that so I might as well just go wild" (my mid 20s) 2/?
this leads to
2. the "bad sex experience confirmation bias" bc w/out learning consent + communication you may have shitty experiences & ur evie voice says "this is why we don't have sex unless it's by the book" (& by the book means "what the purity author of the week wrote") 3/?
and also
3. the WORST NIGHTMARE of losing your evangelical virginity was pregnancy bc PEOPLE WOULD KNOW.. which is why I was shocked when I confided in a friend that I was thinking about it and she said "STIs tho" and I was like "ohhh thanks" 😳 4/?
and then there's the
4. planned parenthood for birth control because god forbid your parents find out while you're still on their insurance after college so yes, PP & 2 friends were the first non-judgmental spaces that I had these real conversations about safe sex 5/?
but all that to say
5. we don't talk enough about how healthy masturbation is and I won't expand on that except to say is WHAT DOES THE CHURCH have against orgasms because seriously they're like NO SEX till marriage (or for life for some) & pretty much NO MASTURBATION ever🤯 6/?
which is why
6. we need to walk away from allowing this supposed inerrant book be our guide to healthy sex and relationships and start actually creating spaces for healthy education about safety, consent & boundaries and STOP the method of "no one talks about it at all" 7/?
7. the lack of education about sex and the continued shame associations within evangelical purity messaging is creating a system well-conditioned for abuse and harm and it needs to fucking stop. 💥

I guess that's what I have to say about that. 8/8

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