Over the years I've listened to women who view #prostitution as violence, those who view it as work and those who are ambivalent. On the whole, the reality they describe is the same, only the interpretation varies. Here's a response video on this dynamic:
Centrally the women all meet the same men and those men generally share a view of the sex trade with the brothel as playground and the women as toys not human beings. So they harass women and violate their boundaries independently of whether she sees herself as a worker or victim
But the "sex work" language is so strong in warping people's minds that we can sit there and listen to women describe severe harassement and assault and just go "haha isn't the sex workers life kinky and funny" (see the video for precisely what I mean). I wont participate in this
It doesnt matter to me if a woman is paid for it or not, if she describes what fits the definition of harassement, assault and rape, I will call it those things. Doing otherwise would make her a second class citizen who because shes financially compensated presumably isn't harmed
Most women had either a friend or they themselves disclosed a story - maybe it was meant as a funny anecdote or a "these things happen don't they?" but the person opposite was disturbed and said "that sounds like assault to me". Countless stories of "sex work" sound like that...
There's no judgement for women who reframe violence as "bad sex" - inside or outside prostitution. Most of us have done it. It's completely understandable normal reaction to traumatic events. But it doesn't help to heal in the long run, it can keep us stuck in abusive situations.
A person who says "your boyfriend/date/john sticks his finger up you without permission, oh well, men can't help themselves" is not your friend. I will call it assault no matter the context precisely because I do think that women in the sex trade are the same as and equal to me.
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