Thread by @swordsjew

im watching the northman and seemingly only 1-2 of the actors know how to even approximate a scandinavian accent

i just simply do not buy nicole kidman and ethan hawke as vikings sorry

i would describe this movie as "ornately macho" #thenorthman

is it a coincidence that Amleth's name is basically Hamlet and he also has to kill his uncle

björk as a Norn is the only saving grace of this bloated movie

"I am Olga of the Birch Forest," says the convincing Russian character who has no idea what her accent even ought to be

the villain telling his son "fetch us some whey" idk why i laughed so hard

not enough swords in this movie :(

ok im glad theres a Sword of Destiny but human blood is a very impractical quenching liquid

my boyfriend is getting increasingly annoyed at me being unable to take this movie seriously, but i did like slapping a rapist with period blood

"oops forgot i can only kill u in a burning lake, ttyl, gonna hang with my Zombie Night Blade"

i keep calling this movie Stupid Hamlet in my mind

this movie's skarsgard is like the store brand version of young viggo mortensen

i love this movie's lines like "i will haunt this farm like the avenging corpse of one returned from the dead"

ahh this movie has Death Lacrosse

solid description of christianity tbh

what... happened.... to nicole kidman's face......

mfw i read my mentions

ok nicole kidman can still act like hell tho

the scene with gúdrún is the only other good one in this movie tbh (although also stabbing someone through his body and bed is also sick)

ok sick ass valkyrie hallucination tho

CHILD (killing a horse): "May the neck-ale of this swift steed hasten you to the highest tree of the battle-weavers, brother!"

ahh, the volcano showdown björk predicted

someone said the runes look like they spell "mr taxi" and now i cant stop seeing it

amazing ending, nude uncle on nephew volcano fight, valkyrie flight, no notes