Let’s talk about the #millennial urge to adopt the personality of a manic pixie dream girl back in their early 20’s and then later identify as an empath in their 30’s.
You possibly grew up in a stressful and/or traumatic environment where you had to predict and manage another persons emotions in order to maintain physical/emotional safety. Scanning other’s emotions is your trauma superpower but it’s a double edge sword.
You are comfortable as the caretaker and continue to repeat this pattern in friendships/romantic relationships valuing other’s emotions and needs over your own.
You’re exhausted by it unable to see the truth that you were not put on this earth to be just a supporting character. You are in fact the protagonist of your life only responsible for your growth.
Disclaimer: (these tweets are nothing more than highly generalized hyperbolic observations that have no empirical data to support them other than me, the person tweeting, making fun of myself.)
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I’d like to clarify, as a psychoanalytic I believe two opposing things can and do exist at the same time. ADHD neurodivergent brains, I can only speak to this and more specifically only to my own, is very difficult to have.
I struggle a lot because of it. Those struggles are very real and very hard at times. I also love my brain. I love the way I think about things, make connections between topics, see patterns others don’t, and bring a different perspective to professional groups.
Both exist, both are valid, neither cancels out the other. I honor both. When I’m having a hard day I feel all the difficult emotions and it absolutely sucks. When I have a success I feel so much joy and appreciation for the part of me that was able to do it.
Just like a battery needs both the
positive and negative charge, I think we as a whole would do a lot better working together.
NT people love structure, linear points of reference, organization, and clear cut answers but struggle when things have gray area or are abstract.
ND people need some help with structuring that is supportive to how we say we function best but we literally live in the gray and can interpret the abstract.
Innovation could thrive within our society if there was space to find a balance and encourage collaboration.
Society views ADHD as a disability due to our time periods not producing or being “distracted”.
What they don’t understand is the time spent inactive and bouncing around looking at various topics is actually the time and process needed in order to inspire and build up the energy for when we go all in.
When our hyperfocus hits we can complete things at a quicker rate and from a new perspective that could not have been imagined without the phase of what appeared as inaction prior. It’s not a disability, it’s a natural cycle of rest, exploration, inspiration, and creation.