Thread by @GreyFrey3

dkbk, bkdk, pirates AU, stranded dk, smuggler bk, humor, nsfw implications, terrible sex jokes

#twinstarsweek2022

Izuku has many interesting hobbies—collecting various shells, weaving seaweed into clothing, writing “HELP” in wet sand with a stick, etc.

Your typical stranded on a desert island activities.

It’s been a long few weeks since he was dumped here by a less-than-respectable ship captain. If he manages to survive until help arrives,

that’ll be the last time he gives all his money to a person who literally chuckled when they laid eyes on him.

His new favorite hobby is stargazing. Mostly because it’s so hot during the day that he sometimes wonders if being set on fire wouldn’t be cooler.

Now, he spends those midday hours either napping or hallucinating ships on the horizon.

[“Oh we’d be alright if the wind was in our sails,
we’d be alright if the wind was in our sails,
we’d be alright if the wind was in our sails, and we’ll all hang on behiiiind.”]

He is halfway through a rousing, loud round of sea shanties when the stars above him are suddenly extinguished. It takes him a second to realize what is happening, but it all becomes fairly clear when the tip of a sword pricks his Adam’s apple.

“Oh…” he trails off, blinking furiously above him at the shadow that’s swallowed the sky. “Are you an angel?”

“Do I look like a stupid angel to you?!” comes the gruff response.

There’s a shuffling in the sand around him.

The blade-point doesn’t move, and he realizes absently that there is more than one individual present.

/Great!/ he thinks deliriously as a torch bobs into view, casting a glow on the area in front of him eyes.

What’s revealed to him is a thing of beauty—

light blonde hair, handsome features twisted into a fierce scowl, and murder flashing in a pair of amber colored eyes. A combination which paired with an expensive-looking outfit and a cutlass should make him feel a little on edge.

Instead, Izuku almost cries from relief— a human! Not just another seagull squawking in his face and pilfering his scavenged dinner. But dare he believe it?

“You /are/ an angel! A beautiful, wonderful angel!” he exclaims, stumbling to his feet.

Somehow the captivating stranger doesn’t stab him through the neck. Chalk up another win for ol’ Deku!

“I think he’s gone stupid,” the torch bearer comments. He’s got red hair, gelled up and spiked towards the heavens.

It makes Izuku wonder what he uses to maintain such a chic style.

//This far from civilization, probably fish guts.//

The thought makes him giggle uncontrollably.

He reaches for those red locks to find out for himself, but is stopped by the beautiful man with the grumpy hasn’t-gotten-lucky-in-months expression on his face.

“He’s not stupid, he’s drunk.” The man yanks the bottle out of Izuku’s loose grasp, holding it up and shaking it.

“Found the damn brandy!”

“Hey, that’s mine!” Izuku makes a grab for it, but yeah, he’s pretty drunk. He ends up falling against the stranger. Specifically, he braces himself against a pair of nice, firm man tiddies.

“Get off me, you idiot!”

“You have a great body,” Izuku comments innocently. He gropes lightly. “Muscly.”

“He’s wearing the silk, captain,” Spiky Redhead observes.

“Oi!” Angel Face grabs Izuku by the chin and redirects his gaze upwards. “Where’d you get that shirt?!”

“Found it… and the brandy… the soap, too. That was nice. So squeaky clean!” He demonstrates by tearing open said shirt eagerly.

At this point, he’s so happy to be rescued that he’s not paying attention to the other man’s expression. So he misses as it darkens considerably.

“Drank the brandy, ruined the silk, used the soap… did you eat the damn cinnamon, too?!”

“It helped the seaweed go down!” Izuku chirps, nuzzling against his chest happily.

A hand fists in his hair, tugging on him viciously until he’s blinking up into furious eyes.

“Idiot! That was /my/ contraband!”

“Contraband? But that would make you a smuggler.”

“Who else buries expensive goods on a remote island?!” The man snaps. White teeth flash like a shark’s before closing over an unsuspecting seal.

“Oh.”

“I’m going to kill you!” Angel Face roars, throwing Izuku unceremoniously back on the sand.

“W-well…! You shouldn’t!” Desperately, Izuku tries to think of a reason why a dangerous smuggler might spare him. “I can serve you!”

Angel Face stops advancing on him. “What?”

“I ruined a bunch of your goods! But if you kill me, I can’t pay back what I owe! Let me live! I’ll work for you until you’re satisfied!”

Angel Face approaches slowly, tilting his head and observing Izuku carefully.

He tucks a leather boot beneath Izuku’s chin, turning his face up until it’s clear in the moonlight.

“Not bad looking. Though the beard has to go.”

“I’ll shave it! Whatever you want!”

“Whatever I want, eh? I’ve been looking for a new cabin boy.”

Izuku nods fervently. “I’ll scrub your decks! Get ‘em nice and wet! Clean them right up for you. No problem!”

His stomach flutters for some reason as he stares up at Angel Face. The blonde continues to eye him for a few seconds, a wicked grin tugging on his mouth.

“Kirishima. Get him cleaned up and drop him off in my quarters. He can start immediately.”

“Thank you,” Izuku heaves a tremendous sigh of relief. “I’ll use that mop like my life depends on it.”

“You won’t be needing a mop,” he states evenly.

His boot inches down, until Angel Face is playing with the gaping collar of his shirt.

“I won’t?” And then Angel Face’s boot moves even lower and Izuku realizes exactly what he means. “Ohhh…”

Not a bad way to end a rescue.

/end

@twinstarsweek

And then they boink.