David Burge Profile picture
Aug 1 4 tweets 1 min read
What makes me cry: rat rods, Iowa FB offense
Songs I love: Tequila
what I'm doing to repair trauma: patch panels & bondo
what scares me: my lawn rn
what I'm doing to make the world a better place: fart jokes
For everybody in my replies musing on masculinity: the first rule of Masculinity Club is there is no musing on masculinity in Masculinity Club
*please be advised this goes double for overcompensaters who insist that real he-men have to bench press 800 pounds and roll coal in a lift kit diesel 4x4 with a turret mount .50 cal in the bed
my personal working definition of "alpha male" is a person with a penis who rarely says anything, and then dies a month after retiring from 45 years at a manual labor job

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More from @iowahawkblog

Jul 31
Today's #DavesCarIDService comes to you live from Mulvane, KS, in the heart of the Wichita-Tulsa-Springfield custom car & tornado triangle!

1 Bill Cushenberry's Car Craft Dream Rod
2 Darryl Starbird's Predicta
3 Dave Stuckey's Lil Coffin
4 Cushenberry's Silhouette
Everyone associates 1960s custom show cars with Californians like Ed Roth and George Barris, but Tornado Alley was home to some of the greatest builders of the age. All the cars depicted above (which you may remember from Hot Wheels and model kits) were straight outta Wichita.
If you've ever watched American Graffiti, there's a line when Steve (Ron Howard) gives the keys to his 58 Impala to Toad (Charles Martin Smith), who awestruck says, "It's better than Darryl Starbird's Super Fleck Moonbird!"

Sadly, the Super Fleck Moonbird never actually existed.
Read 23 tweets
Jul 31
Weird true story of the day: some rando wearing a Cubs hat just tried to pick a fight with me outside a casino in Wichita KS because I was wearing a Cubs hat
Stopped at the Kansas Star casino along I-35 because they have a decent hotel and close to freeway. I don’t gamble at all. Anyway, I’m smoking a cig outside hotel entrance when a guy gets out of an SUV in loading zone and yells “hey dude are you from Chicago?”
I say “no, but I lived there 17 years.” He sorta stumbles over at me, and I see he’s wearing a Cubs hat just as I was.

“Oh yeah, well I’m from Cicero. Born on Loomis. I’m a Sox fan, I hate the fucking Cubs. You know why I wear a Cubs hat?” points at hat
Read 9 tweets
Jul 30
Live from Iowa City, it’s #DavesCarIDService

(Grant Wood, “Death on the Ridge Road,” 1935. Painted while Wood was on the UIowa art faculty. Cars are representational, though Wood referred to the center car as a Nash Ambassador)
Travel day for me today, so sadly this will likely be a short episode, length of which dependent on Mrs B’s signal to load up the Conestoga and head west.
First kids, let's all recite the car ID pledge:

I pledge to use the #DavesCarIDService hashtag on all my ID requests!

I pledge to only submit vintage family photos, wilderness junkers, & cool street finds, and no stupid viral memes!

I pledge to STFU about politics!
Read 23 tweets
Jul 30
Pure Iowa: cattle, hogs, corn, soybeans, Cap’n Crunch with Crunchberries
Old Cap getting his gold knob polished
The Iowa Hawkeye Scottish Highlanders’ leopard skin & plaid kilts were the greatest marching band outfits of ALL TIME and there is no possible rejoinder you can offer
Read 9 tweets
Jul 29
Pilgrimage to the Shrine of Saint Nile of Adel
And the noble Black Knight of Clinton, the Duke of Slater, bulldozing the entire Notre Dame defense
LOL sucks to be you Shamus
Read 7 tweets
Jul 29
Tonight’s menu:

Polse, kjottboller, smakaker, krumkake, lefse, skekt svinekjott pa smorbrod brus, and plenty of aquivit #UffDa
Brought to you by the Gnome Store Decorah, for all your gnome needs
Ladies, what’s keeping you from looking like this
Read 8 tweets

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