Hey #actuallyautistic family, we all know that the stereotype about “Autism means no empathy” and how harmful it is.
But when we push back we have to do it in a way that doesn’t erase those Autistic people who DO lack empathy. They’re human too. They exist. They’re a minority.
Instead of saying “autistic people have hyper-empathy!” because that’s your experience, or insisting that all autistic people do have empathy, a better response is “while it’s true that some people (autistic or not!) do lack empathy, that doesn’t mean they are bad people.”
The crux is that empathy (or lack thereof) isn’t a defining trait of autism. Both Autistic and allistic people can lack empathy.
We can’t “defend” autism at the expense of people with ASPD or other even more marginalized groups.
Liberation is for everyone.
Any time you find yourself saying “no I’m not hopeless like those X people are” remember how many times you’ve been X in other peoples’ eyes, and how erasing your humanity helped nobody.
I did this myself earlier about a personality disorder, and I regret it. We are all trying.
I had a really humiliating experience at work today that I'm going to share with y'all because I'm angry.
I was promoted to manager earlier this year, and so I'm participating in a new manager training program. Today was the first session I attended.
I don't generally do well with long zoom calls, my attention really starts to fade after about 30 minutes if I'm not engaged the whole time or if I'm not splitting my focus with something else.
So I was frustrated when the facilitator asked that everyone turn off their phones, close slack, minimize their browsers etc. She said we needed to be fully present for 90 minutes with each other.
I said, I don't think I can do that. I rely on external stimulus to help focus.
If we provisionally accept the idea that Autistic people tend to build their reality from observation while Allistic people tend to build theirs from authority then this _must_ inform our understanding of the "religion" phenomenon.
What I mean is this:
Jesus was Autistic af, ask any Autistic person. He was constantly baffled and frustrated by his closest friends' inability to understand his most basic values and expressions.
Buddha? Left behind a life of royalty to pursue truth and understanding? Autistic, friends.
Mohammed? Whose mystical "repetitive behaviors" where he'd kneel in caves for hours focusing on a special interest are still carried out in traditional Muslim prayer today?
I have slept on Peter Gabriel for decades because someone once made an offhand comment dismissing him as Christian Rock.
Like, ok, he uses a Christian lens. But he’s not singing Christian songs, he’s worshipping the sacred as purely as I’ve ever seen.
He’s not a priest he’s a prophet, a mystic even. He’s not interested in proselytizing he’s here to tell us that he’s had experiences he can’t convey in words and these are the best metaphors he has.
That has as much in common with “Christian rock” as Leonard Cohen’s songs are all slyly Canadian, you know? They share some DNA in terms of source material but one is not in any way an accurate generalization of the other.
To me it’s not so much a personal rule as it is something that doesn’t make sense.
Why would I misrepresent myself to someone I care about?
That would break our relationship; it’d predicate all future interactions on less trust, and ultimately not serve anyone.
Lying is unilaterally dictating the terms of the relationship. I can understand white lies to keep the peace, but how do you e.g. break a promise to someone, not tell them, and then share an intimate moment with them?
I’ve figured it out, being on ketamine was like being *inside* of a generative model. The self is this huge latent space you’re exploring and the “selector” in that space is *you*.
So the experience is whatever you select from the latent space of possible experiences of self.
Put another way:
Instead of typing queries into midjourney, the music I was listening to combined with my thoughts to generate the queries.
But in answering the queries my intention informed the result.
Does that make any sense?
I was the *random noise* in the equation.
I’ve been trying and trying to get midjourney to create the image I saw of minions rising out of the sea bearing this huge heavy ivory throne.
The throne was on a palanquin that the minions were carrying around.
When I sat in the throne I felt powerful and whole.
So uh. That was amazing. I was like “this isn’t having any effect!” And the next thing I knew my spirit was passing through a sort of high tech Egyptian afterlife. I was briefly scared but this army of minions came out of the sea carrying an ivory throne for me.
My intention going into this was “I want to be better at self-validation” and friends a chorus of minions followed me around, carried me, and validated me as we visited various traumas that came up.
The whole thing was peaceful and interesting.
Let me back up: I was confused. There is no therapy during the infusion. The infusion is, you put on music and eye covers and sit super comfy and you spend an hour on a trip.
Then afterwards you discuss a little. But core work will be a my therapist on Thursday before next sesh