Heavy content warning for #WorldSuicidePreventionDay .
Part of my being autistic is that I get what are known as "intrusive thoughts". Fairly frequently they will involve thoughts of suicide. They pop out of nowhere and can be gone as quickly as they came. 1/
Part of my being autistic is that I get what are known as "intrusive thoughts". Fairly frequently they will involve thoughts of suicide. They pop out of nowhere and can be gone as quickly as they came. 1/
They used to scare me. I have in my life attempted it twice. The funny thing now is that they are almost "reassuring". I have had those thoughts so often that I know I won't act on them. On neither of the occasions that I did try did the thought just "pop in". 2/
It built up, it festered. I felt I couldn't talk to anyone about it so I let it get worse. I felt guilty at first for the feelings, which pushed me further and further, until I made the decision and at that point I felt calm. 3/
I'm not saying that talking through your problems always solves everything. It doesn't. If the option is taking your life though, yes, talk. Call the @samaritans. Reach out to someone. In the meantime, don't be hard on yourself for having the thoughts in the first place. 4/
It's easy to say "take each day as it comes". When you're in that position of wanting to take your life you don't want to, and don't see how you can. It can be done though. Just little steps every day. Don't push too hard. Don't "force yourself" to be happy. Take little steps. 5/
Personally, I live constantly with these thoughts. They don't mean I'm depressed, or even suicidal, they're just there. I won't lie, yes I said it can be "reassuring", it can also be terrifying. I've had to learn they don't mean I will do it though. You can make it through. 6/
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