My fellow Russians

My quick & easy three day war into Ukraine has now run into its 8th month. We lost the battle of Kyiv, their capital & largest city. As you can see, my war started out tremendously well.. for the Ukrainians

#SlavaUkraini #TableBoy #CzarLilliPutin #LilliPutin
After we lost the battle of Kyiv, we proceeded to lose the battle of Kharkiv too. Kharkiv is their second largest city. After a prolonged battle we lost at Snake Island. Then we lost the battle for Izyum, a town we had seized. As you can tell, this war is going remarkably well
When our army fled Izyum, they left all our heavy weapons there for the Ukrainians to use against us in this war. This is part of my glorious plan. We did the same in our loss at Snake Island. We abandoned all our valuable military gear there too. We've gifted Ukraine 500 tanks
We have been eagerly retreating so much since March, that half of the terrain we once held in Ukraine has already been handed back to the Ukrainians. In the words of my pet & sex toy, Donald Trump, I call this unconventional type of military maneouvering: 'winning'
All of our Russian tanks have turned out to be death traps. Their turrets are prone to explode, with unfortunate results to the tank crews. One tank regiment was so furious about this war, they ran over their own commander with a tank. Rest assured, he was buried with his legs
The largest warship on the Black Sea, our Navy flagship, the mighty missile cruiser Moskva was sunk. And sunk by an enemy who does not operate a navy. The commander of our Navy has been fired. All remaining Russian warships from our naval base at Sevastopol have bravely fled away
We once had the second most powerful air force in the world. Half of it is now permanently grounded into Ukrainian soil. We lost so many warplanes in one day at our airbase in Crimea that our total remaining air force fled Crimea & is now proudly contributing to the war by hiding
We had a battalion of our own troops irradiated by their own commanders. They were ordered to dig trenches into the ground of the Chernobyl nuclear accident & inhaled radioactive dust. These men have lungs that glow in the dark. Some of them might live to see the end of next year
In the first 8 months so far we have lost 59,000 Russian soldiers. That is more than we lost in ten years of our failed war invading Afghanistan, and the two long wars in Chechnya. We've lost more soldiers in seven months than the USA lost in the Vietnam War over ten years
We have not just lost warplanes, tanks, ships, and soldiers. We also have lost Generals. So many generals have died, that I have lost count. I believe it is about 15. To help make winning this war even easier, I have myself fired another 7 Generals commanding this war
I cleverly decided to not supply the invasion army with enough war materials. I didn't bother with things like food, and ordered our soldiers to go rob the locals. This led to a series of war crimes, which resulted in sanctions. Because of sanctions we cannot build modern weapons
The one thing Russia never, ever wanted to happen, was for NATO to expand, especially near our border. And I am proud to report, that thanks to my glorious 3 day war invading & pillaging Ukraine, both Finland and Sweden are now eagerly joining NATO. And Ukraine will join NATO too
At this point the army we have in the Donbas region is totally surrounded in the Lyman pocket & will have to surrender

And in the South, the army defending Kherson is surrounded, out of ammunition & food, with only bridges for escape destroyed by Ukraine & will have to surrender
One third of the men I sent to invade Ukraine have died. Which is why I have decided that the men I send as reinforcements will not be trained properly

As you can see, my 3 day war into Ukraine has been a tremendous success. The next phase in this war will be even more glorious

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More from @tomiahonen

Sep 30
My fellow Russians

My quick & easy three day war into Ukraine has now running into its 8th month. We lost the battle of Kyiv, their capital & largest city. Then we lost the battle of Kharkiv too, their second largest city. Next we lost the battle for Izyum, a town we had seized
When our army fled Izyum, they left all our heavy weapons there for the Ukrainians to use against us in this war. This is part of my glorious plan. We did the same in our loss at Snake Island. We abandoned all our valuable military gear there too. We've handed Ukraine 500 tanks
The largest warship on the Black Sea, our Navy flagship, the mighty missile cruiser Moskva was sunk. And sunk by an enemy who does not operate a navy. The commander of our Navy has been fired. All remaining Russian warships from our naval base at Sevastopol have bravely fled away
Read 12 tweets
Sep 30
I've told you that the fastest path to take Trump to prison is the NY Tax Fraud path (= Weisselberg Path). In it Michael Cohen was convicted
Allen Weisselberg just pleaded guilty
Trump kids go to trial next year
And Trump in 2024
This is the CIVIL part, with criminal charges next
So please understand. NY Tax Fraud (Weisselberg Path) is the FASTEST way to take Trump to prison. And as NY AG Letitia James runs a 'fast track' in this case, even then Trump will be tried last, his kids tried next. & this means Trump own trial is likely in year 2024. Civil trial
The NY AG has already told us in court filings, that there were crimes also she found - out of the 2 million pages of fraudulent financial records she has that caused Trump accountant Weisselberg to flip. So yes, this NY civil case WILL RESULT in criminal charges on Trump too
Read 13 tweets
Sep 29
Let's talk about silence

Remember this moment three weeks ago? Trump went silent for about a day. It VERY rarely happens, and essentially always that turns out to be horrid news for Trump.

What happened on Sept 9?

Paging Sherlock Holmes...
Think back over past 3 weeks, what has been worst news for Trump? Yes, this Special Master gambit has misfired catastrophicaly - BUT that is not news that happened TO Trump. It is Trump stupidly damaging himself. AND it builds on Espionage-A-Lago. That spygate 'news' was from Aug
What's the other horrid news for Trump? The NY Attorney General lawsuit that will terminate Trump businesses AND costs him $250 million (money that he does not have) AND had referrals to IRS (millions more to pay) AND has CRIMINAL referral

THAT is the bombshell news of September
Read 4 tweets
Sep 28
What a great set of questions, Suzanne RT @GrabberGrabber

I will answer in short set of replies:

Trump's attorneys clearly do not know what all Trump had stolen. They will have seen only a part. And they know not to cross Trump, or not be paid
But Trump himself? Is an imbecile. I mean literally, his intellectual capacity is equivalent to a child. He obsesses about details which may as well be imaginary (remember duct tape women & vicious Mexican cars?). He MOST DEF does not remember what was in 33 boxes = 91,665 pages
On the Extortion file, it is highly likely Trump remembers one or two main 'faults' of any potential target he can remember, of his current or potential enemies. What is sexual preference of #LeningradLindsey Graham for example. But the REST of Extortion files no. Won't remember
Read 9 tweets
Sep 27
I was struck by the proportion of PERSONAL documents in files FBI took from Mar-A-Lago. It is VERY small, considering 13,000 documents:

87% US government owned documents
vs
13% Trump own docs incl his taxes, medical records etc.. Image
So consider 13,095 documents in total seized from Mar-A-Lago under legal search warrant by FBI

11,425 of those documents belong to USA. Will not be subject to any client-attorney privilege etc

Only 1,670 of the seized documents were personal docs of Trump. That's quite little
When I think of those 1,670 documents that did not belong to USA, we know it included financial records and/or taxes that Trump was hiding from New York, against a subpoena. It is a crime. Those records will be given to NY (and other tax authorities like IRS)

Trump cried that...
Read 6 tweets
Sep 26
What was Trump's serial financial fraud about? It was a pyramid scheme to sustain an illusion that Trump is a 'Billionaire'. Trump used his name to borrow money, bought bad properties, claimed them to be worth more than they are, then borrow more money to buy more bad properties Image
Trump is caught, because NY has the double accounting by Trump's accountant of 40 years, Allen Weisselberg. So they can PROVE all this

Let's start. In real estate, you measure size of the property, square feet, acres etc. Trump claimed larger area than he actually owned Image
Trump would also count as usable areas which he was not allowed to develop. For example areas with zoning restrictions, where part were not in his control (he'd still include it as his) or massively exceeding the number of units he had a licence to build

Then he over-valued all Image
Read 11 tweets

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