Thread by @Nowe33

Not many people know this, but the person who wrote this piece is a friend of mine--my best friend, actually. With her permission, I'm going to share an epilogue to this story. A 🧵 (trigger warning and FYI she is safe and physically unharmed after these events):
#IAmAmberHeard

https://twitter.com/pajiba/status/1538181007139975168

After being demonized and drained of her financial resources as he dragged her through family court, she was forced to settle and co-parent with her abuser because her lawyer was going to drop her if she couldn't come up with another $17k to cover more expenses.

Keep in mind she had already cashed out her retirement, spending somewhere in the realm of $70k to prove she was abused to the court. She begged the criminal court, the family court, and the police to believe her when she said this man was a danger to her. You need to know that.

After a three-year battle, she was broke and forced into a position of having to co-parent and placate her abuser for fear he would drag her back to court and into bankruptcy. Since then, she has had to deal with continued emotional abuse, love-bombing, and unwanted advances.

Financial and legal constraints make it impossible for many survivors to cut their abusers out of their lives. She was forced to make peace, play nice, and placate a man she was terrified of or lose everything she has worked for.

This summer, her abuser's behavior became more and more erratic due to his mental health issues. My friend became concerned about her daughter's safety but was unable to do anything because, despite pleading guilty to a DV charge, he has equal custody rights.

Last night, my friend's abuser called her over and over before showing up at her house. Despite her fear, she didn't feel like she could call the police because, without an actual threat, they won't do anything. Calling the police would also anger him and make her more unsafe.

So she went outside because he would not leave until she talked to him. I want you to imagine the utter terror of being alone with an unstable, potentially violent man who is obsessed with you, unable to ask for help because you know from experience help won't come.

He then accused her of sleeping with his best friend, someone she doesn't even have contact with. He demanded to go through her phone, which she allowed because she was terrified. He said he was having violent thoughts and "obscene delusions." She recorded those statements.

She is not in a relationship with her abuser, but he still feels entitled to look through her phone and is jealous when he believes she is with another man. She has to put up with it because these behaviors are not a crime, so the courts and police will not act on them.

He finally left after seemingly being satisfied that she is not sleeping with his friend. But then today, my friend heard from her abuser's mom that he had left the house with a gun and that she should hide. So she called the police.

The police said that because he is an adult and a legal gun owner, they couldn't do anything until he committed an actual crime. Never mind that she had an audio recording of him stating he was delusional and having violent thoughts. Never mind his own mother told her to hide.

Then he showed up at his best friend's house, loaded the gun in front of him, and made him kneel on the ground while he pointed the gun at his back. Thankfully, he did not shoot his friend, saying, "I wouldn't do that to you," before leaving.

My friend was informed by her abuser's sister that he was headed in her direction. So, she called the police. Since he pulled the gun on someone else, they finally took her seriously. They still did not arrive at her house before him.

I cannot imagine her terror, but I know what mine felt like when I got the text "He's here." She was on the line with 911 at the time. I thought that the moment my friend and I have often quietly discussed had arrived. I thought, "This man is going to kill my best friend today."

She and two of her kids were trapped in that house. They could have gotten out before he arrived. There was enough time. I had a safe place for them to go, but the police told them to stay put and then weren't there to protect them.

We had a safety plan. The cops fucked it with their irresponsible instructions and lack of follow-through. If you are going to tell someone to remain in a place where an angry, unstable abuser is headed with a gun, you'd better be damn sure you're going to get there first.

He stood in front of her house for what felt like an eternity, pacing around and staring with a strange look on his face. I don't know why he finally left. It wasn't the police arriving. It was 27 minutes after she called 911 before she even saw a cop car, and they didn't stop.

They continued to search for him, finally surrounding him and apprehending him. It sounds like every cop in town was there at that point. This could have been prevented if they had just taken my friend and his mother seriously earlier in the day and escorted him to the hospital.

After his arrest, when my friend was coping with the trauma of what happened and trying to explain it to her children, he used his one phone call to call her and tell her how much he loves her, that it was all a joke and he didn't intend to hurt anyone.

In the aftermath, my friend is terrified of what will happen when he finds out she called the cops, that she provided them the recording that will prove premeditation after he made her promise never to record him again because that is what proved his prior abuse in court.

He doesn't even have a criminal record as part of his plea agreement in the DV case. What happens if he gets off with another slap on the wrist like he did when he hit her? Will he get out and know she was the reason he was arrested? These are the questions she's asking now.

Could she get another protection order? Definitely. But she doesn't see the point as his multiple violations were not addressed the last time. She doesn't have the money, time, or energy for another court case that will leave her in debt and without any meaningful protection.

People ask why I support Amber Heard. I support her because I watched my best friend go through the same meat grinder of a flawed system and be blamed and harassed because of her abuser. This man's family and friends were willing to lie to protect him from his actions.

Survivors know that our system does not protect them. They know people will lie and attack them to protect abusers. My friend could have died today because so many people support bad men. To those people: Fuck you. I hate you all.