Welcome to #monktoberfest in Portland, Maine; this is my favorite conference. @sogrady and the rest of the RedMonk crew work miracles to make this one of the best conference experiences on the planet.
Kicking us off is @juliaferraioli and @amcasari to tell us "Remember how we broke the internet?"

(Speaking of, auto-captioning on the lasttweetinaws.com Twitter threading client was broken. Quick fix from iPad later, and we're back in business.) a group of people standing ...
A list of Open Source requirements. I'm sure that nobody will object here... A list of how the requireme...
(Apologies for dropping off. Minor crisis needed dealing with.)
And now @MissAmaraKay's "My Year of No, and the growth it inspired". What an awesome title. #monktoberfest
"This is the first talk I've ever done where I get up and talk about my feelings. If I fail at tech demos, that's what happens, but if I fail at talking about my feelings what does that really say about me?"

PREACH.
I adore the "this talk is not a subtweet" disclaimer. Focus This isn't a jab at m...
I adore that she begins with a "this talk is not a subtweet about my current or former coworkers" disclaimer.
It's extremely hard to say no; if you don't learn to do it you'll absolutely destroy yourself trying to live up to your perception of others' expectations of you.
"Establish your goals and boundaries." YES. Otherwise other people will establish them for you, and do a remarkably poor job of it. Establish your goals and bo...
I am absolutely here for this talk starting off by taking a Twitter jackhole for a drag. Socially Acceptable Places ...
(I'm not actually sure whether or not he's a jackhole, but that tweet is absolutely a trash take.)
The responses to the tweet set the tone of this talk. Survey Says... No Alex . @a...
The rest of this talk is about why @JoeEmison based his company in Ohio. I'd always assumed it was proximity to AWS's us-east-2.

"This is not what we did. This is what I'd do if I had to do it again." TL; DR If I were doing a se...
WHICH PORTLAND, JOE?! T L; DR: Large Enough and G...
WHICH PORTLAND, JOE?! T L; DR: Large Enough and G...
Hmm. There may well be some important context missing from the slide earlier.

I rescind my earlier Reactionary Hot Take.
Every speaker's nightmare: getting upstaged by a generational moment.

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More from @QuinnyPig

Sep 30
I wonder how many cloud providers implement "traffic to our status page" as a leading indicator of potential outages.
This is, seriously, why I've repointed stop.lying.cloud to @downdetector for the time being.

I obviously don't consider it authoritative for @awscloud outages--but it's tremendously useful to see whether I'm the only person having a problem right now.
There were some salty Amazonian takes about DownDetector a while back when it turned out to be a tier 1 backbone provider's routing issue or whatnot.

What I think they missed is I don't initially care *what* the problem is, just validating that it's a global vs. local event.
Read 5 tweets
Sep 28
I wake up, yawn and stretch--wait, something feels different. I've body-swapped with @seakoz (@awscloud's GM of AWS Certificate Manager), Freaky Friday style.

Though it's only Wednesday, I know that this movie has a happy ending, so what do I do with my time being Koz?
Well that should be obvious: in my Day-As-Koz, I clearly have to work my way through getting 673 Amazonians out of the company, Corey style.
"Look, we don't condone threats of viol--" my god, pay attention! I said "Corey Style," not "you have all the creativity of wet soup combined with toxic masculinity style."
Read 7 tweets
Sep 27
Today's motivational tip: move through your life with the confidence of the @awscloud console presenting you with a $131.4 million "add to cart" button. An add-to-cart labeled button below an upfront cost of $131,
In Seattle @aselipsky pours himself a glass of Sancerre and begins idly browsing the yacht dealership's website on the off chance that my mouse slips. A "submit order" button for the 131.4 million doll
Two things are true:

1. I have never once seen @awscloud not do the right thing about erroneous savings plan purchases.
2. It's super hard to argue against this being the right thing: The "you get what ya fuckin' deserve" meme titled
Read 7 tweets
Sep 26
Every once in a while I see something in an NDA that takes me aback.

I'm not one of those folks who gets salty or offended if you ask me to sign one; I have a standard practice of confidentiality that's my default go-to, and I don't mind formalizing that.

Although...
The one that irks me more than it does most people is a non-solicit clause.

"I agree not to solicit any of the employees / contractors of the other party for the next year." Buddy, if you want to get in the way of your folks finding other opportunities, you've gotta work harder.
You employ people; you don't own them. If the only thing standing between your folks making more money is that they don't know about other opportunities, I've got news for you.

I've seen this on *doorway NDAs* in the before-times, to speak at a company's office. Shameful.
Read 5 tweets
Sep 15
An awful lot of what @awscloud does is transformative, admirable, and (I'm particularly guilty of this one) doesn't get enough credit for what it is.

This morning is not one of those things, as they're hosting an "AWS Web3 Ready" webinar.
Web3 is pretty clearly about grift / scamming people. I withheld judgement waiting for viable use cases to emerge. I'm calling it: there aren't any that I've been able to see through the cacophony of scams.
I strive mightily to not make AWS teams feel bad about what they've built. I don't always succeed.

But if you're working on shilling Web3 at AWS? Yeah. You should probably feel at least a little bad about it.
Read 14 tweets
Sep 15
Somehow @Mat__Savage has made an egregious error, and acquiesced to me snarking about his job posting.

Let's find out what it's like to work on one particular team at @awscloud...
The role is based in Seattle, and apparently you'll spend the bulk of your time watching videos on YouTube. Software Development Engineer, AWS Networking Job ID: 223384
You can tell a lot about a role by what they start with. The first sentence on this one is "Are you ready to innovate at an unprecedented scale?"

Those who have worked at similar scaled companies need not apply? Mat is angling for Vice Precedent here...
Read 11 tweets

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