Welcome to #monktoberfest in Portland, Maine; this is my favorite conference. @sogrady and the rest of the RedMonk crew work miracles to make this one of the best conference experiences on the planet.
Kicking us off is @juliaferraioli and @amcasari to tell us "Remember how we broke the internet?"
(Speaking of, auto-captioning on the lasttweetinaws.com Twitter threading client was broken. Quick fix from iPad later, and we're back in business.)
A list of Open Source requirements. I'm sure that nobody will object here...
(Apologies for dropping off. Minor crisis needed dealing with.)
"This is the first talk I've ever done where I get up and talk about my feelings. If I fail at tech demos, that's what happens, but if I fail at talking about my feelings what does that really say about me?"
PREACH.
I adore the "this talk is not a subtweet" disclaimer.
I adore that she begins with a "this talk is not a subtweet about my current or former coworkers" disclaimer.
It's extremely hard to say no; if you don't learn to do it you'll absolutely destroy yourself trying to live up to your perception of others' expectations of you.
"Establish your goals and boundaries." YES. Otherwise other people will establish them for you, and do a remarkably poor job of it.
I am absolutely here for this talk starting off by taking a Twitter jackhole for a drag.
(I'm not actually sure whether or not he's a jackhole, but that tweet is absolutely a trash take.)
The responses to the tweet set the tone of this talk.
The rest of this talk is about why @JoeEmison based his company in Ohio. I'd always assumed it was proximity to AWS's us-east-2.
"This is not what we did. This is what I'd do if I had to do it again."
WHICH PORTLAND, JOE?!
WHICH PORTLAND, JOE?!
Hmm. There may well be some important context missing from the slide earlier.
I obviously don't consider it authoritative for @awscloud outages--but it's tremendously useful to see whether I'm the only person having a problem right now.
There were some salty Amazonian takes about DownDetector a while back when it turned out to be a tier 1 backbone provider's routing issue or whatnot.
What I think they missed is I don't initially care *what* the problem is, just validating that it's a global vs. local event.
I wake up, yawn and stretch--wait, something feels different. I've body-swapped with @seakoz (@awscloud's GM of AWS Certificate Manager), Freaky Friday style.
Though it's only Wednesday, I know that this movie has a happy ending, so what do I do with my time being Koz?
Well that should be obvious: in my Day-As-Koz, I clearly have to work my way through getting 673 Amazonians out of the company, Corey style.
"Look, we don't condone threats of viol--" my god, pay attention! I said "Corey Style," not "you have all the creativity of wet soup combined with toxic masculinity style."
Today's motivational tip: move through your life with the confidence of the @awscloud console presenting you with a $131.4 million "add to cart" button.
In Seattle @aselipsky pours himself a glass of Sancerre and begins idly browsing the yacht dealership's website on the off chance that my mouse slips.
Two things are true:
1. I have never once seen @awscloud not do the right thing about erroneous savings plan purchases. 2. It's super hard to argue against this being the right thing:
Every once in a while I see something in an NDA that takes me aback.
I'm not one of those folks who gets salty or offended if you ask me to sign one; I have a standard practice of confidentiality that's my default go-to, and I don't mind formalizing that.
Although...
The one that irks me more than it does most people is a non-solicit clause.
"I agree not to solicit any of the employees / contractors of the other party for the next year." Buddy, if you want to get in the way of your folks finding other opportunities, you've gotta work harder.
You employ people; you don't own them. If the only thing standing between your folks making more money is that they don't know about other opportunities, I've got news for you.
I've seen this on *doorway NDAs* in the before-times, to speak at a company's office. Shameful.
An awful lot of what @awscloud does is transformative, admirable, and (I'm particularly guilty of this one) doesn't get enough credit for what it is.
This morning is not one of those things, as they're hosting an "AWS Web3 Ready" webinar.
Web3 is pretty clearly about grift / scamming people. I withheld judgement waiting for viable use cases to emerge. I'm calling it: there aren't any that I've been able to see through the cacophony of scams.
I strive mightily to not make AWS teams feel bad about what they've built. I don't always succeed.
But if you're working on shilling Web3 at AWS? Yeah. You should probably feel at least a little bad about it.