2. The govt planned a public info campaign about saving energy
3. Then cancelled it
4. Then the energy minister said the govt is ideologically opposed to helping avoid an energy crisis
5. Then they said we should expect "rolling 3 hour power blackouts", but we're on our own, fellas
6. Then we saw demands for an ethics inquiry into the first month of Truss, despite Truss refusing to employ an ethics advisor cos she reckons she doesn't need one
7. To prove the point, Suella Braverman was formally reprimanded for security breaches
8. And then Conor Burns got sacked for (seemingly) doing something ghastly at the Tory LGBTQ event
I mean ... That's in the last 24 hours. How the hell am I meant to keep up with this shit?
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Drink heavily, buckle up, and let's get started with a visit to the Tory Party Conference, where the most dense things in the known universe are packed into one room, and we all pray it reaches critical mass and explodes.
She wants to be seen as a radical, but doesn't have any radical ideas - merely destructive ones.
She wants to be seen as tough, but is just spectacularly brittle, blown about and shattered by every gust of political wind.
And she persuades herself she's a fresh thinker, but all she really does is listen to demonstrable facts, then mindlessly do whatever is the opposite and claim it's "being original".
It's childish contrarianism, masquerading as innovation, and fooling nobody.
And she has no hinterland. Only 50 MPs backed her in the 1st round of the leadership. 59% of members voted for her, but that's not a resounding majority, and it's evaporated now. No popular mandate. Cabinet discipline gone. Donors abandoning her. Markets lost all trust. Alone.
"Meticulous, brilliant, unstintingly splenetic... Our great-grandchildren will place it alongside Pepys, whose diary they will, correctly, judge much, much less funny"
1. We begin with our new leader, Margarine Thatcher, who in only 3 weeks has become PM, finished off The Queen, taken 2 weeks away from work, ruined our relations with the US, crashed the economy, and started backbench rebellion to remove her from office
2. Having performed 4 cowardly U-turns during her own endless leadership campaign, Truss now seems to now think was is the key to her success
3. So she unthinkingly announced she’d be accompanying the new (yet also very old) King on his tour of Britain
4. She then bravely announced she wouldn’t be doing that at all
5. And then she boldly claimed she’d never said she would
6. Having demonstrated her lack of brain and courage, the PM completed her Wizard of Oz impression by introducing us to her missing heart