Though once I thought myself the all-desired,
Now bloodless days do fill time's hourglass,
The silence echoes, dreams have not transpired,
As tortoise-slow the clockhands make their pass.
Left to imagination's dark device
My thoughts through lightless tunnels wander lost,
Stray orphans of a mind made imprecise
By absence of Love's saving Pentecost.
And failing that bright grace, what shall I own
But sunless days followed by truant sleep
Stolen by Jezebels unseen, unknown,
Leaving silence my company to keep.
somehow i got trapped in a loop
endless unvarying
high above anything tangible
but for the cool metal
of this cagelike seat
and the belt that straps me in
i whirl at the mercy of the universe
completely devoid of control
overseen by gods or abandoned godless
makes no nevermind
there’s no escaping this wheel
that shows me nothing but
the busy life of ants below
i’m a prisoner of the unknown
lacking the remedy of habeas corpus
perhaps i'm dead
is this eternity
caught fast
a helpless observer
jacob marley in lipstick
who sees the need
has the remedy
but is unable to intervene
the flat blue sky gives nothing away
no signs or portents
nothing pointing the way to damnation
or redemption
Colonel Reichman, an interrogation specialist for the German army, was walking around in a quaint little Swiss village one day during WWII. He spied a little shop selling clocks and watches and decided to enter.
The owner, a woman behind the counter, immediately recognized who he was and asked how she could be of assistance.
“Fräulein,” he said, “dese are all nice little clocks and vatches you haff in here, but ze von I am interested in is zat big grandfazer clock you have outside above your door.”
A man was pulled over on a highway.
The cop walked up to the window and said, “Sir sir, do you know why I pulled you over?” The man said no and the cop said, “I clocked you doing 77 in a 65. May I see your license, registration and proof of insurance, please.”
The man said he not only has none of those but also that the car is stolen and the couple he stole it from are dead in the trunk. At that point the cop pulled his gun and ordered him out of the car. The man told him he rigged the car with explosives.
The cop ran back to his car and called his chief and the bomb squad. Within 15 minutes a crowd arrived: the Chief, the bomb squad, the Fire Department and helicopters overhead. The entire freeway was shut down.
A group of guys were smoking weed when they heard a knock at the door. In a panic, they hid the joints in a cuckoo clock.
They opened the door to find two cops standing there. "It's 1:45 in the morning," said the cops. "You woke up a neighbor who reported you to us. We hope you're not using any illegal drugs."
The cops searched the whole place looking for anything suspicious but didn't think to look in the cuckoo clock. "You got lucky this time," they said. "Try to be more quiet for the rest of the night." Then the cops left.
Looking for a fresh start, a guy named Jim got a well-paying job and moved to a suburb outside San Diego. Weeks turned to months and slowly but surely Jim built a new life with a new routine.
Every Monday at 5:30 he went from work to the grocery store and got home from the grocery store at 7:30. Unfortunately Jim had a neighbor named Lisa Nancy and she was a bit of a nut.
Every Monday as Jim unlocked his door at 7:30 Lisa Nancy emerged from her house, walked onto her porch and screamed, "LET THIS NEIGHBORHOOD BE SAFE FROM TIGERS!" At first Jim found this only comically quirky - then mildly irritating - and, finally, nerve-wracking.