My coming out story as the first openly gay Saudi man:
My name is Abdulrahman Alkhiary and I was born by the Red Sea in Saudi Arabia. Education was a top priority to my parents, and despite my #ADHD and #Dyslexia, I succeeded in schools when we moved to the United States.
#NCOD
My name is Abdulrahman Alkhiary and I was born by the Red Sea in Saudi Arabia. Education was a top priority to my parents, and despite my #ADHD and #Dyslexia, I succeeded in schools when we moved to the United States.
#NCOD
While at Kansas State University I excelled socially and scholarly, joining many organizations related to my Political Science major, and working as a legislative administrative assistant for a Kansas State Senator and a consultant to the Riley County Police Department.
On February 22 while living with my parents in Manhattan, Kansas, they asked me to a private meeting. This was odd because just a week earlier my parents and I met, and it was uncommon for us to meet two weeks in a row, so I became nervous. #NationalComingOutDay
I was unproductive all day, worrying about why my parents wanted to meet.
When we sat down, my mom asked “Is there something you’re not telling us?” I asked her “What do you mean? I’m sure there might be, but that’s normal, I don’t have to tell you everything in my life.”
When we sat down, my mom asked “Is there something you’re not telling us?” I asked her “What do you mean? I’m sure there might be, but that’s normal, I don’t have to tell you everything in my life.”
My mom insisted that this shouldn’t be the case.
Then my father asked me “Are you happy with your relationship with god?”
I said yes.
He then said they had been noticing that my relationship with god is not as good as it used to be. I asked what he meant by that.
Then my father asked me “Are you happy with your relationship with god?”
I said yes.
He then said they had been noticing that my relationship with god is not as good as it used to be. I asked what he meant by that.
So he asked “If you were to die… are you ready to meet god?”
(LONG PAUSE)
I said yes.
My father left the room. My mother looked me in the eye and asked “Are you gay?”
Time. Stood. Still.
I stared at the wall long and hard, deciding whether or not to tell the truth.
(LONG PAUSE)
I said yes.
My father left the room. My mother looked me in the eye and asked “Are you gay?”
Time. Stood. Still.
I stared at the wall long and hard, deciding whether or not to tell the truth.
Whether I shall face my true reality, am I ready to take this path or not? Do I have what it takes to deal with what my family’s reaction will be? It felt like an hour, but I’m sure it was less than a minute.
I looked at my mom and asked, “What if I was?”
I looked at my mom and asked, “What if I was?”
The first thing out of her mouth was that she would take me back to Saudi Arabia. I asked, “Why? So they can stone me to death?”
She said, “If we are not sending you to Saudi Arabia we are sending you to therapy and forcing you to get married.
She said, “If we are not sending you to Saudi Arabia we are sending you to therapy and forcing you to get married.
You are not gay, you only think you are.”
I told them to leave me alone. They refused and said they needed to put a plan in place to keep me from going to hell.
So I said I was an atheist but this only made them more aggressive and intimidating.
I told them to leave me alone. They refused and said they needed to put a plan in place to keep me from going to hell.
So I said I was an atheist but this only made them more aggressive and intimidating.
They switched my phone hoping I would lose all of my contacts. They also took away my car and deleted my Facebook account and told me I needed to find god and I couldn’t hang out with my friends, and even tried forcing me to go to the mosque even though I don’t believe
They tried to use intimidation. At that point I was scared for my safety, liberty, and my right to be who I am. So I texted some friends. First, Brandon, the head of LGBT services at @KState, then Judith, my lawyer.
Brandon contacted Scott Jones, the dean of student life, who was kind enough to take me into his home, and my lawyer Judith made a plan with Moon, the program director here at KCAVP, to find a safe place for me to live.
By then my parents were calling and texting non stop, leaving messages like “I hope you found another family” or “Wait until you hear of our death!” and “If you continue this way you will go to hell!” They even tried locating me using the Sprint Family Plan by having my…
…siblings contact me and try to tell me to come back home. They even followed me to Scott Jones’ home by tracking me on my phone at midnight.
After two nights at Scott’s home, I came to @KansasCity where Moon and Judith found a safe place for me.
After two nights at Scott’s home, I came to @KansasCity where Moon and Judith found a safe place for me.
Everywhere I go, every moment that I breathe, I fear that my parents are following me. I fear what they will do to me, especially if they send me back to Saudi Arabia.
I am so afraid of my parents that I didn’t pack any of my belongings from home.
So here I was. In Kansas City.
I am so afraid of my parents that I didn’t pack any of my belongings from home.
So here I was. In Kansas City.
My new home, surrounded by friends and people who truly care for me. It was the good people at KCAVP who threw me a lifeline, found me a place to stay, some clothes, daily food, and a sense of safety and security. Please. Please accept my sincere thanks and gratitude.
And through @KCAVP I have found a new family, one that wants to make a difference and help me become a better person. I will continue working with Moon , @KCAVP and the #LGBT community to make a difference not only in my life, but anywhere there is injustice.
My name is Abdulrahman Adnan Alkhiary and I am the first openly gay man from Saudi Arabia. But here in America, my friends… all of you… can call me… Wajeeh Gay Lion
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