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Russ Jones

@RussInCheshire

Oct 23

@LBC

Johnson isn't standing 🧵

If Mordaunt doesn't get 100 MPs it'll be Sunak without anybody voting for him whatsoever.

If it's Sunak v Mordaunt, members get a say, and I find myself wondering if the racism in the ranks - so clearly expressed on @LBC this week - will deny Sunak >

> again.

But I think the most likely outcome is a Sunak coronation. If he ends up with a huge lead among MPs, Mordaunt might agree to withdraw in return for a major post (Home Secretary I'd guess) and "for party unity".

Not that there'll be any unity. Feral cats in a sack >

> Between 60 and 100 MPs have been vocally pro-Johnson, many saying nobody else has a mandate. That's enough to overturn the Tory majority, and they could hold Sunak to ransom at every turn. Plus the members wanted a Johnson / Truss fairytale, not grim reality >

Read 5 tweets

Russ Jones

@RussInCheshire

Oct 20

The problem - and I use the word entirely incorrectly - is that there's no such thing as The Conservative Party.

There are five, each with massively different goals and ideals, artificially crammed together because of the FPTP system.

And this weird hybrid is disintegrating.🧵

The Tories are

1. One Nation Conservatives, who would be recognisable to Ken Clark, and are - at the margins - interchangeable with some Lib Dems. Mercer. Wallace

2. Xenophobic English nationalists, basically UKIP, obsessed with immigration and sovereignty, eg Braverman, Patel

3. Wild-eyed libertarians who believe in the Sovereign Individual, and all the madness Liz Truss just unleashed. Drax. Raab. Kwarteng.

4. Scatty populist bullshitters, who say and do anything to remain in power but have no plan or ideals - Johnson, Dorries and that sordid crew

Read 8 tweets

Russ Jones

@RussInCheshire

Oct 20

Boy, am I glad I waited until after 1:30 to do #TheWeekInTory

1. It seems an age, but only 6 days ago Elizabeth Truss, an anagram of Haziest Bluster, promised parliament she “absolutely” stuck to her leadership promise of “not planning public spending cuts”

2. She then sacked her chancellor for agreeing with her, and appointed demonic pixie Jeremy Hunt, who promised £40 billion of cuts

3. Hunt was immediately undermined by reports Truss had asked feral gonad Sajid Javid to come back as chancellor, but Javid said: no fucking way

4. Truss brains-trust member Jason Stein said it didn't happen cos the PM “sat in the cabinet with Javid for 10 years" and "knows who is shit”

5. So Truss sacked her brains-trust

6. Another aide said Truss “pretended her relatives had died” to get out of going out in public

Read 40 tweets

Russ Jones

@RussInCheshire

Oct 14

#TheWeekInTory

tl:dr – AAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHH!!!

I’m sorry. This is the biggest yet.

So drink heavily, and let’s begin what seems 1000 years ago, but was actually this week

[ Cue wobbly flashback effect ]🧵

1. Parliament demanded this week’s Prime Minister, Margarine Thatcher, appoint an ethics adviser, despite Truss insisting she doesn’t need one

2. As with all Truss decisions, this was immediately tested by a thorough slap in the chops from the following bits of reality

3. Suella Braverman was formally reprimanded for mishandling sensitive documents

4. Then Kwasi Kwarteng’s celebratory champagne reception for hedge-fund managers who made billions from his shite budget “may have broken the ministerial code”, or what’s left of it after Johnson

Read 49 tweets

Russ Jones

@RussInCheshire

Oct 10

I don't despise Tory voters.

I don't blame people who do, but I don't.

I just think people who vote Tory are wrong. And it's about time they realised it. 🧵

The Tories said they were going to control the national debt.

It's gone up every year they've been in office.

The Tories said Brexit would make us richer.

It's made us far poorer.

Read 21 tweets

Russ Jones

@RussInCheshire

Oct 6

Drink heavily, buckle up, and let's get started with a visit to the Tory Party Conference, where the most dense things in the known universe are packed into one room, and we all pray it reaches critical mass and explodes.

Yet another #TheWeekInTory

1. Liz Truss – ITV4 made flesh – got dressed up as a fictional fascist to present her List Of People Who Disagreed With Me, and are therefore enemies

2. No news yet on whether the "enemies list " included Liz Truss from the previous day, who believed in different things

3. In her speech to the Insane Clown Posse, Truss said there was "no alternative" and "I am ready to make the hard choices"

4. Barely 24 hours earlier she'd switched to an alternative because the hard choices were too hard

Read 28 tweets

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