Thread by @ottawa_asd_mum

1/The hand off.

My son is severely autistic with an intellectual delay. He is 9 & can use limited words to ask me for juice, to go outside or demand his weekly Timbits ration. Beyond that, we cannot converse. I don’t know how he’s feeling, if he’s nervous, unsettled or scared.

2/ I have only the cues and clues we are able to gather from tears & giggles, and the signs of eagerness or apprehension.

I dreaded the day he started school. The thought of handing him off to a stranger in the care of 30 other 4 yos was not something my mind could compute.

3/ Further to that, it just wasn’t an option. I wouldn’t do it. I struggled with the daily challenges of supporting his needs with a 2 year old in tow, in my own home where I could lock the doors and cupboards and use every childproofing device I could find. My son is curious and

4/blissfully unaware of danger. This duo, coupled with the energy of a dozen 4 year olds and his discomfort in sitting still for any length of time longer than 15 seconds was a recipe for disaster. As parents we would plan every moment outside our homes to foresee challenges,

5/triggers, dangers and inconveniences. If one child runs one way, and the second runs the other—and neither respond to your screams to “STOP!”, what do you do? If your child is fascinated by water and heads hyperfixed to any and every receptacle of water, be it a river, a storm-

6/water pond, faucet or an unsupervised glass of water—how to you carry on with anything else in your day? If your child is keen on exploring absolutely anything they can get their hands or mouth on—how do you prevent constant illness from the passing on of germs or a belly

7/full of pebbles or wood chips from the neighbourhood playground. Fast forward 5 years, and how do you physically manage the needs of a 100 lb child with little to no understanding of safety, obligations & rules who is also understandably apprehensive of anything from

8/teeth brushing to vegetables to winter boots to a visit to the pediatrician? We are faced w/ logistical challenges directly rooted to safety and everyday necessities every single day. It never stops. Ever.
When you are this tied to the well-being of a 4 year old, a 10 year old

9/or a 28 year old—how do you hand them off?

How do you leave them in the school yard that first horrifying day in early September that is filled with tears & apprehension & anxiety for EVERY family. How do you do that if you know your child WON’T intrinsically know to follow

10/the lead of the other kids who flock to their lines at the sound of a bell. Or that still struggle w/ the concept years upon years later?

How do you drop your child off with strangers when you are the only person on the planet that speaks his unspoken language, or recognizes

11/the atypical signs of pain, sadness, or hunger before they happen? How do you pass a child off to a room of screaming 4 year olds when you know that they struggle in loud, busy spaces?

I know how. And I’m lucky to know how.

The first day I strapped my son into the special

12/transportation van that to this day still pulls into my driveway each morning to take my son around the corner to school, I followed the van.

But I didn’t follow my tiny boy into the building.

I watched as a woman stood at the curb by the school gates, smiled and

13/unbuckled him. She took his hand in one, and his far-too-large for his tiny frame backpack in the other. And she led him into the building.

The hand off.

For the next several hours someone else opened his snack containers, helped him in the washroom, took the pebbles

14/and wood chips from his mouth and chased him down the hall full-tilt when he jumped from his seat and ran from the room.

Someone else ensured that me, dropping my son off at school, made more sense than leaving a 2 year old in the middle of a grocery store and hoping for the

15/best. Because to this day, this is a fair comparison. My son does not yet possess the skills to face the world independently & make it through each day.

My son has an Educational Assistant who before sitting alongside him to guide his hands over his early math activities or

16/assist with his adaptive scissors for his first snips through paper is ensuring that he is fed, safe, clean and exactly where he should be.

My son’s Educational Assistant ensures that he is EXACTLY where he SHOULD BE. Both literally and figuratively. If she is not there

17/then he is not there. If she is not available to him, then school is not available to him.

She is ACCESS. She is the accommodation needed both for my child to access his right to an education & the person who ensures that the teacher in the classroom can focus on delivering

18/YOUR child’s right to an education.

This is everyone’s fight. This is my fight. This is @Sflecce and @fordnation communicating that bare-bone resources are all that’s needed to keep kids in school. This is the Minister of Education communicating LOUDLY and CLEARLY not only

19/that some Ontarians aren’t deserving of a living wage, & should be silenced w/ the removal of basic human rights, but that my child and his education do not matter.

The challenge that a strike imposes for the average family is the challenge that my family faces every day of

20/every school year. In order for my life to work, and in order for my children to remain safe, unharmed and alive I need to intrinsically trust another human being every day. @Sflecce is telling me again that my trust as a mother of a vulnerable child is only worth poverty-line

21/wages.

No Ontarian should be vilified for asking for a living wage. No child should be deprived of the resources they need to access education.

No mother should be forced into “the hand off” without one of these remarkable humans on the other side to accept that little, or

22/Not-so-little hand.
I stand with @CUPEOntario. I stand with Education Support Workers. #onted #ontedsolidarity #onpoli #39kIsNotEnough #50KIsNotOk @Sflecce @JohnFraserOS @Peter_Tabuns @ChandraPasma @fordnation