Thread by @sandyosullivan

#TransAwarenessWeek this year has been battling a lot of transphobes, but that's not it's function. It's to learn more about what it is to be trans, how you might negotiate it if this is you, and how to support people that you love/work with/know who's trans.
A bit more:

The colonial project of gender tells us to exist in the gender assigned to us at birth, regardless of how wrong this is, or the incompleteness that we feel. In a week focused on awareness, let's counter myths with truths. 1/

#TransAwarenessWeek

The impact of the colonial project on First Nations' Peoples, & those forcibly removed from their homelands, is documented by the coloniser where persistent erasures fail to tell the full picture of our diversities, including the complexity of our genders.
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#TransAwarenessWeek

This can't be surprising, not when they did it in a wholesale manner to their own people, putting them in gender boxes from which they could not escape.
The info here include ways that these boxes can be challenged by cis people who want to support us.
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#TransAwarenessWeek

A difficult aspect for many who are trans, is navigating how others see us. Not feeling 'enough' is one that many share. Whether its others challenging our gender, asking about surgery/meds, or making assumptions about our pronouns, it can be unending. 4/

#TransAwarenessWeek

One opportunity in #TransAwarenessWeek is for cis people to learn more, not just assume they already know because they are supportive. Learning more about our complexities will mean a safer and better world for people who are transgender. It could give us space to breathe.
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Being trans is often defined as being 'assigned the wrong gender at birth'. Historically, in the recent 'West', this was often translated as a woman assigned 'male at birth', and their binary opposite of a man ‘assigned female at birth’.
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#TransAwarenessWeek

Of course, non-binary and agender people are also assigned the wrong gender at birth. Increasingly many non-binary or agender folks also describe themselves as transgender, challenge their birth assignation, and engage in gender affirmation/transition.
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#TransAwarenessWeek

Some notes that might help:

1. Don't 'out' us. Some of us will tell you we're trans, others won't. If we disclose to you, don't assume you can tell others. A # of times I've been told a person is trans, but not out, and they shouldn't be disclosing this. 8/
#TransAwarenessWeek

2. This is what a trans person looks like age 4 & at 56. I say this cos you it's not great to ask when we 'became' whatever our gender is. For many of us, we always were.
For some of us we may also celebrate dates of affirmation/transition - our choice.
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#TransAwarenessWeek

3. Gender and sexuality are not the same thing.

Gender is the 'who we go to bed as', sexuality is the 'who we go to bed (or not) with'. Don't assume that someone who is trans is gay, lesbian, bisexual, straight, pansexual, asexual etc - we could have any sexuality.
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4. If we provide pronouns, use them. Use them, but don't assume them. If we don't provide pronouns, there could be a reason - a solution is to use they/them, but I urge you not to use they/them if someone provides different pronouns.
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#TransAwarenessWeek

5. On deadnaming: use the name we provide, not one we may have used in the past. Many of us (myself included) select a different name to our birth name to better align with our gender. You don't have to critique it or ponder it, just use it.
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#TransAwarenessWeek

6. Also on deadnaming: this can be hard for parents who named their children in the 1st place. If you're supporting a teen affirming in their gender and who is changing their name, try arguing with them about which name to use. That always ends well. 😉
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#TransAwarenessWeek

7. Trans people include people of all ethnicities, disabilities, religion, cultures, life experience, ages (I could go on). This might sound obvious, but there are assumptions that some people cannot be trans because of some aspect of their lives. Not so.
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#TransAwarenessWeek

8. I can't say this often enough: a woman who is transgender is a woman. A man who is transgender is a man. A person who is transgender is a person. These are not difficult concepts.
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#TransAwarenessWeek

9. For someone to 'be' trans, they do not have to have medical or surgical interventions. Also, that's none of your business. People who are trans may be affirmed in their gender through these means, but it may not be a part of their gender affirmation.
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#TransAwarenessWeek

10. OTOH, understanding the complexities of medical & surgical possibilities (sometimes impossibilities) for trans people is important. Read what we share. Don't ask us about our bodies, unsolicited. Just like you wouldn't others having surgery.
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11. It's never too late or too early. Many of us only came into our gender later in life sometimes because of impossibilities earlier. It's never too late. Do your part by not spreading the idea it's only younger people or a 'fad'. 18/
#TransAwarenessWeek

12. Be a good colleague or employer. Affirmation is an ongoing process for people who are trans. It can involve some pragmatic things in the workplace (toilets, access to leave, informed announcements, pronoun/name checks & more); it requires support.
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#TransAwarenessWeek

13. I have a boss (Prof @BronwynCarlson - doesn't like me to call her boss) who is supportive, understanding, and informed. As a cis co-worker, she reads EVERYTHING on affirmation measures. In doing so, she makes our workplace supportive for trans folks.
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#TransAwarenessWeek

14. On being a good colleague: find out what your colleague. Do they want you to call out others if they are misgendered or misnamed (when they're present or not) or maybe not, do they need support in accessing a public restroom? What do they need?
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#TransAwarenessWeek

15. On being a good union member/leader and advocate: fight for the rights of trans folks to be affirmed in their gender. This might mean 'affirmation/transition leave' or signage access to single stall toilets. Find out what workers who are trans need.
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#TransAwarenessWeek

16. Don't make jokes about our gender. Deciding that those in the binary don't look like your idea of a man or a woman, probably reflects your own insecurities. Deciding that those of us outside of the binary need to be sorted back into it is not a thing.
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#TransAwarenessWeek

17. Commenting on our bodies can be upsetting. Cos for anyone it's a shitty thing to do. For trans folks we are frequently subjected to external commentaries, and they sometimes reinforce our own internal fears. Aim to allay our fears, not feed them.
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18. Affirmation or Transition? I say 'gender affirmation' myself. Some use transition, some both. I like affirmation, makes it hard for transphobes to trot out the 'horrors of detransition' when a 'reversal' of affirmation would, um... also be affirmation!
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19. Whether you call it gender affirmation or transition, cis folks (and other trans folks) can support us. Challenging really awful transphobia (like we've seen this week) is one way to support us through.
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#TransAwarenessWeek

20. Privilege has to be understood, and w/complexity. I'm a trans person who's Aboriginal and I have the privilege of a Community who rail against the colonial project. So, of course many are allies to trans cousins. Please don't be surprised by this.
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#TransAwarenessWeek

21. Yes that last one was flipping the expected, but w/privilege you get to do that. This idea of trans-ness being disadvantage forgets that we have superpowers. SUPERPOWERS. Okay, no we don't, but we aren't 'less' because we're trans. We need awareness.
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#TransAwarenessWeek

22. On trans history. Yes, we've always existed. Evidence is potted cos that happens when erasures are homicidal. Instead I ask you for the evidence that people were only cis through our deep shared history. Genital check on everyone who ever lived, much?
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#TransAwarenessWeek

23. You know that figure from history that you always loved. How do you know they weren't trans? That actor from the golden age of Hollywood, how do you know they weren't trans? Assumptions of cis-ness is strong. It's the colonial project of gender.
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#TransAwarenessWeek

24. When I talk about the colonial project of gender, I mean it literally as an act of colonisation. It was - and continues to be - enacted against First Nations' Peoples and those who were enslaved and treated like property.
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25. Colonisation radiates out, it encompasses and includes and contains. So of course the fallout is that the colonisers make their own people 'less than'. They diminish and erase their own too. You can follow our lead, and resist.
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#TransAwarenessWeek

26. For non-Indigenous folks this doesn't mean co-opting or appropriating. But rather, getting in touch with your own culture. Learn how erasures occurred in your culture. I guarantee you that they did. Don't romanticise ours, it simply won't help you.
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#TransAwarenessWeek

27. So, if you're not Indigenous and you're using terms for Indigenous trans people that you may have heard us use, tread carefully. We're not pan-Indigenous, we don't all use the same terms, i.e. I don't use terms that reinforce a gender binary.
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#TransAwarenessWeek

28.Non-Indigenous ppl may think we automatically have community support cos of pre-invasion gender difference. Believe it or not, most Indigenous people are not familiar w/this but they understand the colonial project *contains* & many support resistance.
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29. Whatever culture you come from, there have been trans people in your history. Locate them. If you can't, make sure that never happens again. I don't mean outing people or guessing/confabulating. Do the research, hear what they said about themselves.
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#TransAwarenessWeek

30. Also, mourn the erasures. Cis and trans people should do this, all of us should mourn these erasures. We should make sure that kids know that a history book in which only cis people exist, is not an accurate reading of our world.
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#TransAwarenessWeek

31. On the actions of others: I stand by everything that I've written but might seem like a generic list, when all of us live bespoke lives. While I can only share my experience and research, others will tell you their equally important stories.
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#TransAwarenessWeek

32. I'm a transgender Aboriginal professor who is 56 and I write about gender, sexuality, creativities, broadly in the context of Indigenous Studies. I get misgendered often. It happens, and I move on. But even w/all my experience it can affect me.
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#TransAwarenessWeek

33. What happens when I get misgendered (say w/pronouns). I say 'they', they hear me and correct themselves or they ignore me & continue. Today it was a bit of both. Reality is that most ppl care about me, but some not quite enough to get it right.
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34. When a partner, family and close friends get it wrong persistently, it can be really hard. In my experience it's worse with people my age (I'm 56) or older. Not that all older people misgender or that younger people don't, but the world IS changing.
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#TransAwarenessWeek

35. It's led me to realise that to change can take some members of our community more time and a concerted effort on their part, and a little support from others (not always us).
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#TransAwarenessWeek

36. When family and friends with us our whole lives, can't get this right, we can feel that they don't even know us. It's often more complex than this and many of us really do try hard to explain/convince. #TransAwarenessWeek matters because it can help all of us do better.
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37. Try not to be the person in your family that a trans family member needs to 'explain' themselves to. Take them at their word, ask them what they need, and do some homework. Read, or contact me if you like.
#TransAwarenessWeek
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38. Family and Community want to do the right thing, but without hearing about (or reading about) the impact, they can't possibly know what that is.
Helping them learn can only help us.
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#TransAwarenessWeek

39. I don't expect to live a long life and I worry that gender becomes more policed the older people get. It motivates me every day to do this work to better the lives of older trans Indigenous people, in case I'm not here to see it through.
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40. I work with a team at @IndigStudiesMQ and in our broader Centre @IndigFutures. We have a small, brilliant team w/several academics who are trans & Indigenous. We work towards inclusivity and also challenge the system we're in. Because of course we do.
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41. Gender dysphoria can be debilitating. Next year I aim to get surgery (I'll write more tomorrow regardless of the transphobic responses). Affirmation surgery was a dream, and I still can't believe I can get it. But I'm also privileged... (cont.)
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#TransAwarenessWeek

42. Many trans people don't access surgery or medical assistance. For some they don't want it, others can't access it because for many it's prohibitively expensive. For many trans folks, affirmation surgery involves multiple operations and personal cost.
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43. So while we're experiencing the positive complexity of being trans, as well as gender dysphoria & misgendering, we're also family members, coworkers, community members, friends. We do all this while having a life. For many of us that can be too much.
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44. On Waiting for Safety: I know that's what happened for me. I've felt wrong in my gender for my entire life until one day a few years ago I thought, I could just be me. I could risk being me, and maybe my life would be better. It was. Of course it was.
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45. I was worried about losing Mob (didn't happen), friends (some, but not many), family (some, not many and also, buh-bye). I was worried about my work. It definitely got worse at my last workplace, then it got so much better, because of course it did.
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#TransAwarenessWeek

46. The privilege of 'waiting for safety' felt like it was true for me. But I wouldn't be alive if I hadn't made that leap, that wasn't privilege. In the end, I came out when it wasn't fully safe. Parts of my life were, but other parts were devastated.
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#TransAwarenessWeek

47. #TransAwarenessWeek Actual Awareness 101 is not being that person who says 'trans sisters and brothers'. Excluding trans people who are not in the binary doesn't help, but remembering that trans men are men and trans women are women, matters.
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48. #TransAwarenessWeek Actual Awareness 101 is doing work in your job and personal life to make sure that trans people are accommodated along with everyone else, in ways that support affirmation and belonging.
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49. #TransAwarenessWeek Actual Awareness 101 is updating the 'gender reveal' for your kid when they come out as a gender other than the 'revealed' one. 'Oops, we made a mistake, here she is!'.

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50. #TransAwarenessWeek Actual Awareness 101 is talking to your kids about gender and listening to them talk about themselves, their friends, or their thoughts or concerns. I get asked for advice all the time, if I don't know, I look it up. Talk to others who can help.

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51. #TransAwarenessWeek Actual Awareness 101 is searching for information that answers questions you have. Do it so that you aren't 'curious' about us, but also do it so that it becomes part of your bank of knowledge.

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52. #TransAwarenessWeek Actual Awareness 101: trans surgeries cost a lot, as do hormones. Rather than telling you how much & why, google it one time, then google it again (the first costs you'll come to are a gross underestimation), then honestly, sob.
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53. #TransAwarenessWeek Actual Awareness 101: Have you gone back through the history of your culture and found ancestors who are trans? Do that; we'll meet back here and discuss.

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54. #TransAwarenessWeek Actual Awareness 101: if you see people who are trans being attacked on Twitter for... you know... being trans or something that they said in relation to being trans, jump in. Same w/being attacked anywhere.

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55. #TransAwarenessWeek Actual Awareness 101:On Drag: I've done a lot of drag, which I now have extremely mixed feelings about. It's complex for many of us. It often reflects our first forays into understanding our gender. But being trans isn't a drag performance.
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56. #TransAwarenessWeek Actual Awareness 101: I get a lot of messages from parents of kids who are trans or trying to understand their gender. I redirect to available trusted resources local to them. If someone asked you for help, what would you say?
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57. #TransAwarenessWeek Actual Awareness 101: hold the media to account for bad stories and bad faith arguments. Hold politicians to account for them. Support a better understanding across the community through all of our media.
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58. Finally... I'm a scholar of both Indigenous Studies and Trans Studies, later this week I'll post a series of links to some great writers on this and the intersecting areas. Let's learn, read, listen, support. They're the only real messages here.
#TransAwarenessWeek
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