Thread by @rsnbrgr

Welp, Twitter is dying and I just poured my first Yukon Jack snakebite to celebrate!

So, let me tell you about the time I (a Master Sergeant) argued with the aircraft commander (a major) to divert his C-130 to avoid a missile attack in Iraq!

It's 2003 and BUFFALO 28 is flying 40 soldiers to Kuwait for a funeral ceremony. It's part of a two-ship with BUFFALO 30 carrying seven caskets. ⚰️

Wing commander Col (BGen select) Gibson has stopped BUFFALO 28 on the runway so I can board as Historian.
nytimes.com/2003/11/02/int…

BGen-select Gibson understands the gravity of the situation and he's tossing me aboard to document the mission. As the only 3H0x1 in Iraq, I'm something of a diplomat to the other military services when we do casket transfers. Our presence lends the commander's gravitas.

With me is a green 2LT. He's got a box he'll ostensibly deliver to Kirkuk AB but in reality he's being rewarded over something with a trip to observe his counterparts out there.

Our wing /XO issues me the lieutenant on an AF Form 1297 (as we like to say). "Great," I reply...

Like I said: BGen-select Gibson "stopped" this plane so I & the 2LT can board. Engines running, no chocks!

Gibson drives us across the tarmac, pulls up behind BUFFALO 28, and we both jump out. Man, it's nice when a wing king chauffeurs you to an aircraft waiting just for you!

The loadmaster tells my LT to sit with the Army troops. Then he looks at me. "Hey, I got no room for you!"

"General Gibson stopped you because I'm the Historian covering your mission," I reply. "Can I take the jump seat?" Of course!

(Gibson is a BGen-select but who cares, eh?)

Jump seats are a specialty for the 3H0x1. I don the mic and key up saying something like "Air Force Historian, MSgt Rosenberger. I'll be documenting this important mission. I'll copy your flight paperwork when we reach Kirkuk so I can spell all your names correctly. /HO out."

The aircraft commander keys back. "Ho, good to have you on board." (Yes, we're hoes.) We take off with my 2LT surrounded by somber soldiers.

The two-ship reaches Kuwait and BUFFALO 30 relinquishes her precious cargo. The soldiers take part in a ceremonial casket transfer. 😪

Everybody's back at the C-130 when the loadmaster says "we're stuck here for a while and there's a Subway right over th--"

--he doesn't finish the sentence. Those 40 soldiers are GONE!

Along with my lieutenant.

Everybody's burping on return. "I haven't eaten like that ages!"

The crew & I didn't eat because, hey, we know any rough weather can hurt a fragile tummy.

...So, we're flying to Kirkuk AB for a full stop to drop off the soldiers. I'll be doing my job up there. As for the 2LT? Whatev.

Suddenly the aircraft commander ("A/C") keys up...

"Hey guys, we gotta divert because Kirkuk is under a rocket attack. I'm thinking we can go to Baghdad. Anybody got a problem with that?"

There's an unwritten rule in the 3H0x1 field to stay quiet in the cockpit. It's theirs, not yours.

Screw that! I key up. "THIS IS..."

"...THE HISTORIAN IN THE JUMP SEAT. I'VE GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT."

A/C: "What's your problem, Ho?"

Me: "Do you realize the #irony of landing at BAGHDAD because Kirkuk is under a rocket attack?!?"

Mind you, a sergeant is now trying to belay a major!

A/C: "Where would you go?"

Me: "Me? I'd land at Tallil AB. It's had one rocket attack the whole time, no mortars, clean runway."

A/C: "Yeah, but Tallil is behind us."

Me: "Great! I know all the fuel guys, they got plenty of juice on hand."

A/C: "Nah, let's go to Baghdad."

Me: "Understood. /HO out."

So, yeah. That's the time I, a lowly sergeant, argued with the aircraft commander to divert his C-130 to avoid a missile attack in Iraq.

But -- you know all those Subway sandwiches everybody ate?

I've still got snakebite in my glass so let's talk about THE REST OF THE STORY...

...So yeah, now we're flying to Baghdad. The aircraft is quiet for a while. Then the A/C keys up.

"Hey everybody, the regs tell us to do random approaches but we always just spiral in. Howzabout we do a 'Crazy Ivan' for once?"

I'm thinking to myself...

..."I know what a 'Crazy Ivan' is from The Hunt For Red October, is that what he's talking about?"

The A/C keys up. "Here's my idea. We start with--"
😬 60° left bank
😬 60° nose down
😬 dive 5,000 feet

THAT'S THE FIRST MANEUVER!

The rest of his approach goes...

...in one ear & out the other because I'm still trying to process the first maneuver.

A/C: "So yeah, that's the idea. Any questions?"

Loadmaster: "LOAD 1! I got 40 soldiers, just ate Subway. I need to talk to somebody down here."

A/C: "Roger that!"

I smile. My 2LT ate Subway!

You just know the loadmaster is briefing their /CO or first sergeant. "Hey, we're flying hot into Baghdad because Kirkuk is under a rocket attack! If anyone pukes on the floor, we gotta clean it up!"

And they probably told everyone "IF YOU PUKE, DO IT IN YOUR HELMET!"

It's nighttime. The pilots are wearing night vision. A few tiny red lights glow in the cockpit.

Someboy keys up. "Call altitudes for me. I gotta cut chaff & flare at 1,000."

Reason: we'll fly over a "tent city" on approach and we don't want our defenses to burn them down.

Hang, on, I gotta make another Yukon Jack snakebite.

Okay, I'm back. So like, yeah. We must disable our aerial defenses at 1,000 feet so we don't set fire to a military tent facility under us. And mind you...

...we wouldn't be doing ANY of this at Tallil AB but hey, I lost the argument.

Baghdad's tower clears our aircraft for this 'Crazy Ivan' approach. Because OF COURSE they would!

It's beautifully dark in the cockpit and the aircraft is flying smooth as glass. Then--

The loadmaster keys up. "LOAD 1, you woke people up back here!"

I almost feel sorry for my lieutenant. Almost.

Somebody's calling altitudes. Mathematically, it doesn't feel like we're following a smooth continuous function #iykyk. TRACON must be staring at their scopes in awe!

Then I hear it: "ONE THOUSAND." Well, you know, it's been a good life, right?

We're in total darkness, the pilots are wearing night vision, we've got no defenses, and THE ENTIRE EARTH is sneaking up from below at an ungodly sink rate.

We make a perfect landing! 🛬

I don't know who opened the cockpit door but OMG the stench was unbelievable!

Not a drop on the floorboards. 👏👏👏

I find my 2LT and yep, he's as green as his butterbars. 🤮 I don't remember what I said but, knowing me, it was probably "that'll teach ya to eat mid-flight!"

So, that's my story about a somber, then wild C-130 flight I took in Iraq in 2003. Hope you enjoyed it!

#RIPTwitter ⚰️

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