Thread by @BluesRaucous

#Cuckold #Hotwife #Wannabe #Reading I enjoyed reading Katie’s 2019 experiential book –“How to be Hot”. Short and pithy primer for wife and couples (44 pages) with a few typos. My reflections @podofeleus @_ryangould99 @HotwifeStudy 🧵1/17
amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B07…

This book is a sequentially structured helicopter view of lessons learned over perhaps 2 decades plus from pre-courtship to becoming established hotwife, blogger, and aspirant erotica novelist. However, Katie has vanished from the net now. See contents list 2/17

I really appreciated: the emphasis on sexual comms between couples outside of the bedroom, clear positive off-ramps for the wife and couple at every stage, useful non bedroom ideas on games and role plays, and a good checklist for guys to be careful of what they wish for! 3/17

In terms of the reality check for guys before they broach hotwifing. See the list in the image. The Risk that jumped out. We are a busy, time poor, family that needs all-hands on deck so extended time out could easily be unsexy and breed resentment. 4/17

It is a big risk as my wife is still very calibrated to relationship-based sex rather than no-strings, so the risk of emotional attachment is also high. My wife is very STD risk averse so she will tend to date one bull exclusively if any! 5/17

Let’s face it if someone came along oozing new relationship energy #NRE that could pay you twice the attention, be twice as good in bed, be twice as fit and attractive, afford to take you out and even on holiday twice as much then that could sweep 💑 anyone off their feet! 6/17

On the other side I think the demands of loving family life, high sexual inhibited-ness, and strong STD risk aversion will all act to damp down hotwifing from running away from us and becoming unstoppable. 7/17

Reduced sexual interest in me is possible, but due to ED and other reasons we have long since developed a loving nurturing intimacy that is not predicated on sexual intercourse. That nurturing intimacy can co-exist with extramarital intercourse. There will be place for me! 8/17

A very realistic outcome is my wife tries it then guilt trips and resents it and blames me. My wife flagged up, in alarm, the case study of a wife with big post coital guilt In @DrDavidLey "Insatiable Wives". 9/17

The after care and honourable positive off-ramps, at any stage, are going to be a must to explore hotwifing beyond role play and games. 10/17

In addition to risks, intimate communications is the other big area in this book that I had something to learn from. Too few married bulls knew their wives ultimate fantasies! I really like the idea of getting away from distractions in a hotel room with phones off. 11/17

Listening and taking on board the other person's views is more important than talking per se. Realistic expectations, patience, and baby steps are essential. Do your homework, think about word, be passionate but manage emotions, and practice opening and closing sentences. 12/17

As a final remark! Katie and her husband as s\D respectively. I was somewhat apprehensive from the start about this. A male in the D role always seems predatory and doubtfully consensual which creeps me out. That's just me out of my personal comfort zone! 13/17

A dim view I blame on the trauma of losing two girls from my school to a murdering rapist. I've probably not processed that criminal "toxic masculinity? trauma"! In life DNA science break throughs solved the crime! 14/17 delanirbartlette.medium.com/forensic-first…

Of all the lifestyle books I’ve read this could be the strongest D/s dynamic. However, I am glad Katie told the story and made it clear that her husband is only Master within very well considered and considerate bounds and rules. I was not triggered...phew! 15/17

Overall, I think the risks are a great precursor to a well thought out risk assessment with mitigation. The communications ideas are well appreciated and an area I am developing. Finally, it is still an open question if I am defensive sub, traumatized dom, or egalitarian. 16/17

Whilst i continue areas of self work I need something to keep me amused. On browsing kindle unlimited I can across a collection of 5 #real life #hotwife #cuckold #stories by Kat Webber published in 2020 17/17 amzn.eu/d/6ahFEJV