Share this page!

Russ Jones is on Mastodon Profile picture
Twitter logo
Nov 21 • 8 tweets • 3 min read
1/9
I haven't done #TheWeekInTory recently cos I've been busy working on a book, available to support with a pre-order now 🧵

unbound.com/books/four-cha…

It covers the last year of Boris Johnson, a leaking bin-bag full of custard and viagra who in a single year gifted us a...
... food shortage, fuel shortages, an HGV crisis, the PPE scandal, a couple of blackmail scandals, PartyGate, JimmySavileGate, FerryGate, TractorGate, RwandaGate, and CocaineGate, then getting caught getting a blowjob in the office, attempting to let off corrupt Owen Paterson...
.. then learning his lesson by attempting to let off gropy Chris Pincher too, before he tore up his own code of office, had 57 ministerial resignations in a week, quitting, and then tried a come-back.

And then it goes on to discuss Liz Truss, aka Margarine Thatcher, who ...
... in her first 10 working days finished off The Queen, kyboshed the ‘special relationship’, abandoned our hopes of future trade, crashed the economy, and started a backbench rebellion to remove her from office.

And then, like The Titanic, she was defeated by an iceberg...
And then on to Rishi Sunak, aka Thunderbird 0.5, a tiny man wearing the clothes of an even tinier one, with a hair-transplant from a Lego Elvis. He doesn’t understand how credit cards work, which might explain why he decided to make us rich by making us a lot poorer...
... To prove he’s got better judgement than Johnson, he appointed three ministers who were already in the middle of massive scandals – Gavin Williamson, the solitary donkey of the Atwatolypse; security sieve Suella Braverman, or Heinrich Hamster to her friend (singular). And...
... finally, Dominic Raab, a CGI construct from a videogame about an inept spy who can't find his way out of his hotel room.

Read about this and much, much more that you really don't want to know about by pre-ordering Four Chancellors and a Funeral.

8/9
 unbound.com/books/four-cha…
And here's an excerpt for those who can't wait to feel fucking horrible about the people who are in charge.

unbound.com/books/four-cha…

And that's the end of this thread.

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh
　

Keep Current with Russ Jones is on Mastodon

Russ Jones is on Mastodon Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!

PDF

Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @RussInCheshire

Russ Jones is on Mastodon Profile picture
Nov 19
I've warned repeatedly of the problem with Labour's "100% Brexit" tactic.

Even Tories aren't any more. And polls show the public aren't either.

One policy shift leaves Labour dangling, and suddenly on the side OPPOSED to good trading relations. Stupid.
thetimes.co.uk/article/britai…
For a while I understood the reasoning behind Labour refusing to manoeuvre on Brexit - don't hand an attack line to Tories. But after Covid, Ukraine and Truss there's a desperate need for a trade boost, and some sort of SM is an open door. Labour are daft to oppose it.
I've said this for months. Not every Labour friend agreed, but it's the right thing to do for the economy AND for the poor (better trade will soften any recession, which hits the poor hardest).

And politically it's now an easier argument to make.
Read 4 tweets
Russ Jones is on Mastodon Profile picture
Nov 14
I understand Starmer's Brexit strategy - don't hand an argument to Tories, keep quiet and win another dozen marginals. And then, once in power, do what is inevitable anyway: join the SM and CU.

That strategy made sense once. I reluctantly nodded along. I find it hard to now🧵
Brexiters made the "I don't mind being poorer" argument, but that was easy in 2016 when it was theoretical. Covid, Brexit and Ukraine have made it real.

Tory response is just "Let's do Austerity again, cos it worked SOOO well last time".

Labour needs to capture the narrative.
As people get poorer, and the public realm gets worse, it's stupid not to even consider the one major policy which could boost the economy: joining the Single Market and Customs Union.

If Labour don't make that argument, they're ceding the narrative to Tories
Read 7 tweets
Russ Jones is on Mastodon Profile picture
Oct 27
If you love #TheWeekInTory you'll hate The Decade In Tory by me, Russell Jones (my Sunday name), in bookshops from today.

Please remember not to kick your pets or throw furniture while reading it. Alcohol recommended. Enjoy!

#TheDecadeInTory

Reviews follow 🧵
"Boundless wit and convivial exasperation... Meticulous, brilliant, unstintingly splenetic... Our great-grandchildren will place it alongside Pepys, whose diary they will, correctly, judge much, much less funny"

– Howard Goodall
"There is a bleak comedy to the 'inventory of idiocy' as Jones calls it, and you can't help but laugh as he celebrates it... a bravura performance. Substantial, meticulous, incredible, depressing, hilarious, rude - and essential reading"

– Dominic Minghella
Read 5 tweets
Russ Jones is on Mastodon Profile picture
Oct 23
Johnson isn't standing 🧵

If Mordaunt doesn't get 100 MPs it'll be Sunak without anybody voting for him whatsoever.

If it's Sunak v Mordaunt, members get a say, and I find myself wondering if the racism in the ranks - so clearly expressed on @LBC this week - will deny Sunak >
> again.

But I think the most likely outcome is a Sunak coronation. If he ends up with a huge lead among MPs, Mordaunt might agree to withdraw in return for a major post (Home Secretary I'd guess) and "for party unity".

Not that there'll be any unity. Feral cats in a sack >
> Between 60 and 100 MPs have been vocally pro-Johnson, many saying nobody else has a mandate. That's enough to overturn the Tory majority, and they could hold Sunak to ransom at every turn. Plus the members wanted a Johnson / Truss fairytale, not grim reality >
Read 5 tweets
Russ Jones is on Mastodon Profile picture
Oct 20
The problem - and I use the word entirely incorrectly - is that there's no such thing as The Conservative Party.

There are five, each with massively different goals and ideals, artificially crammed together because of the FPTP system.

And this weird hybrid is disintegrating.🧵
The Tories are

1. One Nation Conservatives, who would be recognisable to Ken Clark, and are - at the margins - interchangeable with some Lib Dems. Mercer. Wallace

2. Xenophobic English nationalists, basically UKIP, obsessed with immigration and sovereignty, eg Braverman, Patel
3. Wild-eyed libertarians who believe in the Sovereign Individual, and all the madness Liz Truss just unleashed. Drax. Raab. Kwarteng.

4. Scatty populist bullshitters, who say and do anything to remain in power but have no plan or ideals - Johnson, Dorries and that sordid crew
Read 8 tweets
Russ Jones is on Mastodon Profile picture
Oct 20
Boy, am I glad I waited until after 1:30 to do #TheWeekInTory

1. It seems an age, but only 6 days ago Elizabeth Truss, an anagram of Haziest Bluster, promised parliament she “absolutely” stuck to her leadership promise of “not planning public spending cuts”
2. She then sacked her chancellor for agreeing with her, and appointed demonic pixie Jeremy Hunt, who promised £40 billion of cuts

3. Hunt was immediately undermined by reports Truss had asked feral gonad Sajid Javid to come back as chancellor, but Javid said: no fucking way
4. Truss brains-trust member Jason Stein said it didn't happen cos the PM “sat in the cabinet with Javid for 10 years" and "knows who is shit”

5. So Truss sacked her brains-trust

6. Another aide said Truss “pretended her relatives had died” to get out of going out in public
Read 40 tweets

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Don't want to be a Premium member but still want to support us?

Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal

Or Donate anonymously using crypto!

Ethereum

0xfe58350B80634f60Fa6Dc149a72b4DFbc17D341E copy

Bitcoin

3ATGMxNzCUFzxpMCHL5sWSt4DVtS8UqXpi copy

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us on Twitter!

Send Email!

:(