Thread by @amarisllis

#bkdk #fluff #hurtcomfort based on hori’s sketch, MANGA SPOILERS
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Katsuki glances over at Izuku, feeling something powerful and dark settling in the pit of his stomach. Deku is busy glancing down at his watch, oblivious.

Katsuki sighs, hands clenching into fists in his pockets.

“You scare me,” he says quietly.

He doesn’t have to look up to know Izuku’s expression, all shocked and wide-eyed and… cute. “What?” Deku says.

Katsuki bites his lip. He can’t take the words back, but now that they’re out into the open he sort of wants to run away and never—

look back. “You heard me.”

He risks another glance at Izuku, and Deku just blinks at him stupidly with those big doe eyes. “Um… okay,” he says, sounding like he’s walking on uneven ground. Katsuki can’t blame him. Deku’s probably been half-expecting a punch to the face since—

he asked him to come out here.

Katsuki swallows down the lump in his throat, swallowing his pride along with it. He thinks about the words he said to All Might all those weeks ago, and all the words he’s said to Deku since.

After a moment, he tilts his face away, finding it—

impossible to look at Izuku while he chokes out the words. “You terrify me.” His voice is even quieter now, and he’s surprised Deku can actually hear him. “Sometimes it’s so bad I can’t even look at you.”

Deku slowly, hesitantly reaches out, until his hand is on Katsuki’s—

shoulder, and he makes this surprised little noise when Katsuki doesn’t push him away. Katsuki winces, suddenly wishing there wasn’t all this weird space between them that he put there.

But they both almost died so many times. He’s tired of pushing Izuku away when they’re both—

trying to figure out how to come back together. “You just… You worry about everybody but yourself. You toss yourself onto the fucking funeral pyre every damn day, not knowing if you’re gonna get hurt or come out of it or *die…*”

Deku steps closer to him, his eyes impossibly—

wide. “…Kacchan?”

“Watching you do that over and over again, even before you had a quirk…” Katsuki swallows, feeling Izuku’s hand moving from his shoulder to his back. “It’s fuckin’ scary. You’re so fuckin’ willing to destroy yourself trying to be a hero, even before you had—

the power to do it. I just…”

He sucks in a breath. This is the hardest part. He’s already apologized for it all, and Deku didn’t run away from him when he did, but he still wonders whether this will finally send the dominoes falling. “I couldn’t watch. Wanted to make—

you *stop.* That’s why I…”

Katsuki’s voice trails off. He said something similar when he apologized, but even then, it felt like he was glossing over something, keeping the real truth hidden and secret. But now it’s all out in the open.

When Izuku doesn’t speak for a few—

minutes, Katsuki looks up at him again. He’s shocked to see that Deku’s smiling at him as he does.

“I get it,” Izuku says, and Katsuki feels his stomach clench. There’s so much kindness in his eyes, so much understanding and compassion and grace that Katsuki doesn’t deserve,—

even if, deep down, everything he did was in the name of keeping Izuku safe.

“I, uh… I didn’t understand, at first,” Deku says, moving to stand in front of him. His head is silhouetted against the sun like this, and it makes him look a little angelic. Katsuki lets out a tiny,—

little grunt of surprise as Izuku’s arms wrap around his neck.

They’ve certainly become… *closer,* since the war ended (and once again, Katsuki wonders whether he deserves that), but they haven’t really talked about it yet.

But now, Izuku’s arms are around his neck, and he’s—

smiling even as Katsuki confesses his ugliest, most shameful truth. Katsuki tries to stop thinking about that for long enough to focus on what Deku has to say.

“Everyone told me not to be so reckless, but I didn’t really get it. It took me a long time to see what I was doing—

to them.”

Suddenly, there are tears in his eyes, and Katsuki itches to wipe them away. “I didn’t understand until I saw you lying on the ground at UA. It all clicked, ‘cuz… That was the most scared I’ve ever been, Kacchan. I was so terrified that you weren’t gonna wake up, and—

I remember thinking that if you never became a hero, if we never became heroes, that never would have happened.”

Deku gives him a wobbly smile. “You scare me, too,” he whispers, brushing his hand through Katsuki’s hair before resting it against the scar on his face.

Katsuki covers Deku’s hand with his own. “I’m sorry,” he whispers.

“I know. I already forgave you, Kacchan, I told you that.” Katsuki knows, but he still doesn’t understand. Izuku doesn’t let him say anything, instead pulling Katsuki close and burying his head in his neck.

“I’m sorry, too. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Katsuki says nothing, for a moment. He watches the leaves fall from the tree behind them, one hand coming up automatically to rest against Izuku’s head.

And then he hugs Deku back, because he’s beautiful and terrifying and Katsuki loves him so much that it hurts.

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[the end!!! Hori’s sketch plus the flashback scene from 284 getting animated awakened something in me what can i say lmao]

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