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Dec 3 • 6 tweets • 2 min read
1/#TrumpWasRightAboutEverything

Except:
- COVID
- hydroxychloroquine
- disinfectants
- Ivermectin
- Obama's birth certificate
- 2016 election results
- 2020 election results
- Hillary going to jail
- Mexico paying for the wall
- Finishing the wall
- The wall being effective
2/- The Mueller Report
- his impeachments
- Biden suffering dementia
- knowing more about ISIS than the generals
- the trajectory of hurricanes
- Giuliani being a competent lawyer
- being smart
- Nepal, Bhutan, and Thailand being Nipple, Button, and Thighland
3/- that world leaders both liked and feared him, when neither was true
- that he made himself rich
- describing how to sexually assault a woman constitutes as locker-room talk (it doesn't)
- global-warming being a "Chinese hoax" (it's not)
4/- Two-Corinthians-walk-into-a-bar jokes were a thing before him
- his belief that Putin saw him as more than a puppet
- evading taxes is smart
- Four Seasons Total Landscaping is where it's at...for everything
- shining lights up your butt cures all
5/- his inauguration crowd size
- his hand size
- his steaks
- his vodka
- his casinos
- Truth Social
- thinking Stormy Daniels believed he was more well-endowed than a tiny mushroom
- that he came up with his slogans
- inciting terrorism = tourism
6/- that Tom Brady likes him
- that his hair wasn't a gift from Ted Nugent after a hunting trip
- Mike Lindell knows what he's talking about more than 0.3% of the time
- Don, Jr. gets high by snorting bigly lines of life

• • •

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More from @CraigRozniecki

Craig Rozniecki Profile picture
Sep 17, 2020
Due to the latest report of Trump's sexual improprieties, Trumpers have gotten Tara Reade trending again, calling liberals/Democrats hypocrites. Here's the difference: Ms. Reade's allegation was taken seriously, but due to inconsistencies and multiple people discrediting her,
the allegation has been deemed unreliable. To this point, it's been the only such allegation made against Biden. On the flip-side, there have been over 33 such allegations made against Donald Trump. Many of the stories are similar to one another and have largely been consistent.
Said stories have also not been discredited like Ms. Reade's was. Therefore, the single allegation against Joe Biden appeared to be quite out-of-character for him, meanwhile, given Donald Trump's history, similar allegations made against him seem sadly in-character.
Read 9 tweets
Craig Rozniecki Profile picture
Aug 6, 2020
Wow... So I just read the Jonathan Swan interview in its entirety and it's even worse than the media is projecting. Here are a few other bits I haven't heard them mention:
DT: "Jonathan, we didn't even have a test. Now, in all fairness-"
JS: "Why would you have a test?"
DT: "There was no test for this."
JS: "The virus didn't exist."
DT: "Excuse me. I was going to say-"
JS: "Okay."
DT: "There was no test for this. We didn't have a test because there was no test."
JS: "Of course."

...

JS: "Do you read your written brief?"
DT: "I do."
JS: "Do you?"
DT: "I read it a lot."
JS: "Really?"
DT: "I read a lot. They like to say I don't read. I read a lot."
JS: "You read your daily intelligence brief?"
DT: "I comprehend extraordinarily well, probably better than anybody that you've interviewed in a long time.
Read 7 tweets
Craig Rozniecki Profile picture
Apr 25, 2020
I wrote and recorded a new parody, entitled, "Lysol" (to the tune of "Wonderwall").

Today is gonna be a day
I speak gobbledygook to you
By now you should've realized
This is what I f*ckin' do
I don't believe that anybody
Knows what I'm about to do right now
#LysolTrump
Dumb speak, the words are in my head
Ready to finally come out
I'm sure you've never heard them before
Unless you're a fake doctor named Gout
I don't believe anybody will look
As stupid as I'm about to now
#LysolTrump
And none of the wheels in my head are turning
And all the light bulbs up there aren't working
There are many ways that I would
Like to save my ass
Perhaps this is how

Because maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
And after all
You're my Lysol
#LysolTrump
Read 7 tweets
Craig Rozniecki Profile picture
Apr 10, 2020
#WhiteHouseBriefing Fact-check
Trump: "We're testing more than anybody in the world, the best testing."

The US has provided more tests than any other country, with 2,489,786 and counting, but that's just 0.76% of the population and the US ranks 40th in tests p/1M population.
Here are the said rankings:
1) Feroe Islands 110,677
2) Iceland 100,002
3) UAE 59,967
4) Gibraltar 45,799
5) Luxembourg 45,166
6) Falkland Islands 39,368
7) Bahrain 33,679
8) Malta 31,100
9) San Marino 24,933
10) Liechenstein 23,605
11) Isle of Man 22,744
12) Norway 22,720
13) Andorra 21,653
14) Brunei 21,354
15) Estonia 21,019
16) Switzerland 20,625
17) Slovenia 15,896
18) Qatar 15,737
19) Germany 15,730
20) Italy 14,999
21) Austria 14,961
22) Latvia 14,132
23) Portugal 14,122
24) Greenland 13,564
25) Israel 13,557
26) Cyprus 13,507
Read 5 tweets
Craig Rozniecki Profile picture
Mar 13, 2020
Here are the February state-by-state Donald Trump approval-rating polls, courtesy of Morning Consult (morningconsult.com/tracking-trump…). These are the net results, with the state's electoral votes in parentheses.

D.C.: -60 (3)
VT: -42 (3)
CA: -31 (55)
WA: -30 (12)
MA: -29 (11)
MD: -28 (10)
HI: -24 (4)
OR: -24 (7)
NY: -23 (29)
IL: -21 (20)
NH: -21 (4)
RI: -21 (4)
CT: -20 (7)
CO: -16 (9)
NJ: -15 (14)
NV: -14 (6)
NM: -14 (5)
WI: -14 (10)
DE: -13 (3)
MI: -13 (16)
ME: -9 (4)
MN: -9 (10)
IA: -8 (6)
VA: -8 (13)
OH: -4 (18)
PA: -4 (20)
AZ: -2 (11)
GA: -1 (16)
FL: +/-0 (29)
KS: +1 (6)
AK: +2 (3)
NC: +2 (15)
MT: +3 (3)
NE: +3 (5)
TX: +4 (38)
MO: +5 (10)
IN: +6 (11)
ND: +6 (3)
SD: +7 (3)
AR: +8 (6)
UT: +8 (6)
SC: +10 (9)
MS: +11 (6)
OK: +11 (7)
KY: +14 (8)
TN: +14 (11)
ID: +16 (4)
LA: +18 (8)
WV: +21 (5)
WY: +24 (3)
Read 4 tweets
Craig Rozniecki Profile picture
Feb 18, 2020
In response to Trump's tweet where he claims credit for the current state of the economy, I thought I'd share the transcript for episode 8 of my podcast ("I Feel Snitty"), entitled, "Don Didn't Built That." It was aired 9/4/19.
ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/don-didnt-bu…
#ObamaWasBetterAtEverything
Welcome to I Feel Snitty, episode 8, entitled, “Don Didn’t Build That.” I’m your host, Craig Rozniecki. Today I’ll be dissecting Donald Trump’s seemingly constant self-praise, proving once and for all the claims he makes on his alleged positive accomplishments are nothing more
than riding Barack Obama’s coattails harder than a frat brother on steroids rides a mechanical bull after doing 16 Jaegerbomb shots.

I’ll start each dissection with a quote made by Trump pertaining to the category at hand, starting with the unemployment rate.
Read 24 tweets

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