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Dec 28 • 4 tweets • 2 min read
In an unexpected move, 🇷🇺Central Bank announced the country will be replacing Ruble with crypto: “It’s more than an image makeover,” Nabuillina said “true, Rubble is associated with garbage, but it worked for El Salvador; it will work in Russia" [1/3]
news.yahoo.com/russian-centra…
Instead of outdated "banks" Russian crypto will be held in Mausoleums effective Jan 1, 2023, she explained, and the Russian crypto coin, tentatively named "Putler" will initially be worth nothing, but could double, mb even triple in value by the spring.
putler.com
"We understand there'll be a move to short Putler," she continued, but it will grow by March to defy skeptics. It'ill be springtime for Putler in Russia for re-evaluation of how Putler is working out

Note:UMARF Financial Dept recommends keeping all your crypto in a barrel of oil
#RussiaIsCollapsing
#RussianBankCrisis
#RussianBankRun

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More from @EPICGOPFAIL

Ukrainian Ministry of Accidental Russian Fires Profile picture
Dec 29
Some numbers from Arestovych
on today's ruscist missile strike on Ukraine;
They start out the stream discussing this topic

1. Based on the number of the sea + air carriers, the total strike capacity today was 124 missiles.
2. However Ru only fired 69. 1/?
3. 54-56 were shot down by Ukraine of which
4. 2 were not aimed at the civilian infrastructure but were rather anti-radar types that ZSU AA destroyed
5. 4 ballistic missiles were shot down by MANPADs which is until this war was thought to be impossible: mobile AA should 2/?
not be able to take down ballistic missiles, yet today alone ZSU knocked down 4 w conventional mobile AA.
6.Until this strike, Russia had 460 ballistic missiles left in its arsenal per Arestovych. They used up 69 today.
7. Arestovych thinks Ru is saving/stretching its missiles 3/
Read 11 tweets
Ukrainian Ministry of Accidental Russian Fires Profile picture
Dec 28
⚡️BREAKING⚡️

Dmitry Medvedev accidentally swallows Putin's Fellowship Ring with immediate subsequent collapse of brain function, sparking rumors:

reuters.com/world/europe/s…
UPDATE
UNCONFIRMED

Kremlin sources report ring was not swallowed by accident after all.
It was a on bet or dare.
UMART continues to monitor the ring story.
UPDATE
Medvedev said to be recovering, but his doctors doubt he will return to normal brain function after the bear attack
interfax-russia.ru/ural/news/boks…
Read 5 tweets
Ukrainian Ministry of Accidental Russian Fires Profile picture
Dec 27
BREAKING
In what some will dismiss as satire,

Putin creates A Fellowship of the Ring, forging his Precious in Mt Doom FIRES of Mordor:
meduza.io/en/news/2022/1… Image
Putin, of course, disguised his Precious & gave 8 fakes to fellow 'Stans. [Putin body doubles got silver/penis rings. eprimefeed.com/latest-news/th…
So now, as added bonus, finally, a real Putin can be id'ed] Image
Even though Leader of Mordor, at just over 5' tall [150cm] Putin technically qualifies as a hobbit.

This is developing story
Read 4 tweets
Ukrainian Ministry of Accidental Russian Fires Profile picture
Dec 27
Since somehow there are STILL questions about how a mobile coffee house can catch fire, guess we'll have to do another mobile firecafe Q&A:

1)This is not uncommon. Stop clutching pearls:
5 years ago, almost to date, same Rostov bat channel:
rostov.ru/incidents/mobi…
Pugeout van
2) UMARF will not retract that it was the owner's 20yo friend who got burned, & not the owner himself, though now there are competing accounts of the victim:
rostovgazeta.ru/news/2022-12-2…
Same source cites "coffee getting too hot" as the raison d'etre of the establishment & its demise
3) no, that is not a raisin.

4) this one was a Mitsubishi van, so you can't pin it on the French; nice try!

5) It was on the Taganrog street that this mobile gastronome pleaser ceased to exist.

6) Here's Wikipedia on the rich tapestry that's Taganrog: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taganrog
Read 4 tweets
Ukrainian Ministry of Accidental Russian Fires Profile picture
Dec 27
Great tweet that stirred something in this old fart into sharing:

If you are unfamiliar with Ru Potato Revolts or Potato Rebellion, en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Potato_ri… this will be my non-denominational Christmas gift to you 🥔 🧵:
Until Peter The Great Russia was a complete backwards shithole still recovering from 300 year rape by Genghis Khan [1280 to present].
A child, Peter was sent to Netherlands to save from palace intrigue & assassination attempts in Russia.
He grew up with Western education & values
& upon return in 1695 attempted to introduce culture to the Russian courts. I see you laughing, That manifested itself in predictably strange & entertaining ways, like giving court nobility a choice between cutting their long beards or heads.
One innovation was the Irish potato🥔
Read 9 tweets
Ukrainian Ministry of Accidental Russian Fires Profile picture
Dec 17
"Bulgarian Parliament gave its final approval for supplying arms to Ukraine, - Sofia Globe
Last week the deputies voted to confirm the weapons list; the list is classified"

imho, this is a much bigger deal than it appears.
very short 🧵
Bulgaria has one of the largest stockpiles of the old Soviet ammo, about 150,000 metric tons, per Trent Terenko

who penned the best OSINT thread on old Soviet ammo available to Russia - it's long, but really worth a read to understand wtf Russia is firing
and how much of is left and why there are so many misfires in the Russian artillery.
But back to Bulgaria.
Old Eastern Bloc countries all used the Soviet standard.
That has spread to countries Russia supplies in Africa, that's in Syria, & even Turkey opted for some Ru weapons
Read 12 tweets

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