The Upshot Profile picture
Jan 7 19 tweets 8 min read
In the incestuous bubble of American soccer, you never know who you can trust. Even your closest friends.

This is the story of a feud between two footballing families, and a dark secret tearing US soccer apart.

Welcome to Berhalter vs. Reyna...
The winding road to soccer anarchy begins when future stars Rosalind Santana and Danielle Egan meet in the Long Island junior league.

The pair sign for the University of North Carolina, taking 7-hour road trips to games, munching pop tarts and belting out Hotel California.
They become roommates at college, where Rosalind is something of a hit with the boys.

After a wild first term, she spies a mysterious hunk lining up at centre back for the college men's team.

It's Gregg Berhalter.
A whirlwind romance ensues, as the young lovers while their nights away, whispering sweet nothings to each other as they stream illegal highlights of the Bundesliga 2.
It's all roses and MOTD until one night, during a drunken row at the student bar, Gregg kicks Rosalind.

Distraught, she rushes back to the dorms, where the bookish Danielle is up studying.

Danielle comforts the weeping striker, and they agree she should see no more of Gregg.
For the next 7 months, Gregg begs Ros for forgiveness, and she eventually takes him back.

Meanwhile, Danielle gets a footballing flame of her own.

She strikes up a romance with future US captain Claudio Reyna, and both couples soon marry. Claudio is even Gregg's best man.
The 4 remain close friends as they pursue their footballing dreams, all representing the US national team. Claudio and Gregg have spells in England with Man City and Crystal Palace.

The Reynas have four kids, and their second son Gio is earmarked as a footballing prodigy.
As the years roll on, Gregg retires and moves into management.

He's sacked after 18 months in the Swedish second tier with Hammarby, when the board tire of a "lack of attacking play".

An underwhelming spell with Columbus Crew follows, ending with a win rate of just 39%.
Bizarrely, he's then appointed manager of the US national team.

Despite a string of outstanding candidates, Gregg is the only one interviewed for the role.

He's picked for the job by his old teammate Earnie Stewart, whose boss at the FA is none other than Gregg's brother, Jay.
The new coach is blessed with a "golden generation", including Christian Pulisic and his old pals' son Gio Reyna, now at Borussia Dortmund.

But they stumble through World Cup qualifying, resorting to underhand tactics like forcing Honduras to play in -17 degrees in Minnesota.
And the team is rocked by another scandal, when midfielder Weston McKennie is caught breaking COVID rules by sneaking a girl back to the team hotel.

Rumours circulate that it was a teammate's sister.
Nevertheless, the US qualify for the World Cup, meaning Gio Reyna will proudly follow in his father's footsteps.

But on the eve of the tournament, Greg calls Gio into his office to break the news that he'll only play a limited role in Qatar.

It doesn't go down well.
In a warm up game, Gio is subbed off after 30mins for refusing to run, and he is later accused of refusing to train and throwing his kit across the dressing room.

Gregg threatens to send him home, but eventually puts the decision to a team vote, which Gio wins by 13 votes to 12.
The squad muddle on, but on the eve of their crunch knockout tie, US soccer staff receive a mysterious phone call.

The caller says they have information about Gregg Berhalter which will "take him down".

A shaken Berhalter refuses to let his focus slip.
The US lose the game and crash out, with Reyna playing just 53 minutes in the whole tournament.

The following week, at a 'Moral Leadership Summit' in New York, Gregg spills the beans on their falling out.

"We were ready to book a plane ticket home" he tells the crowd.
With Gio's name being dragged through the mud by the vengeful American press, his mum Danielle goes berserk.

She rages that she's been "personally betrayed by the actions of someone my family had considered a friend for decades."
Two weeks later, Gregg is suddenly suspended from his job by the US football federation.

The old story of him kicking his wife has hit the front pages.

But how? Who would have such intimate knowledge of a secret he's spent 32 years trying to bury?
That would be his old mucker Danielle Reyna of course!

This week, Gio's mum confessed to digging up and feeding the story to a "close friend I've known for years".

And that friend just happens to be Greg's boss, US Soccer sporting director Earnie Stewart.
With Berhalter's job hanging by a thread and the Reynas still fuming, the next college reunion should be interesting...

You can follow all the twists in our free weekly email. It's a 3 min hit of the wildest stories in sport.

Join 60k subscribers here:

getrevue.co/profile/theups…

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh
 

Keep Current with The Upshot

The Upshot Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!

PDF

Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @UpshotTowers

Jan 6
They don't make sports stars like George Best any more, and that's probably good news for everyone.

But even by his standards, Best's short stint in Scotland involved some serious hell raising...
Now 35 and past his best, the feted winger shimmied into the Hibernian dressing room to the acclaim of everyone.

Everyone except his new manager, who described the signing as a "disaster waiting to happen".

It didn't take long for him to be proved right.
In February 1980, Best went AWOL for days, missing training.

Nobody knew where he was until the tabloids published photos of him surrounded by girls at a London nightclub.
Read 9 tweets
Jan 5
Paris St Germain is a toxic snake pit at the best of times, but the scandal tearing their women's team apart is truly insane.

From assaults by masked men to flings with French legends, The Hamraoui Affair has it all.

Welcome to French football's latest sordid saga...
Our story begins in the summer of 2021, when PSG sign French midfielder Kheira Hamraoui from Barcelona.

She's reunited with her friend and former teammate Aminata Diallo, who she holidayed with in Dubai the year before.

But the #goodvibes don't last long.
When Hamraoui walks straight into the starting line up, taking Diallo's central midfield slot, rumours circulate of infighting in the squad.

Diallo texts a friend to say she wishes her teammates "all pain", and police later find evidence of her "deep jealousy" of Hamraoui.
Read 18 tweets
Jan 4
These days snooker halls are filled with snoozing pensioners clutching egg and cress sandwiches.

But in the 1980s the sport was a hotbed of booze, crack smoking and shagging.

And no one partied harder than Jimmy White, who once took his dead brother's corpse on a pub crawl...
The night before Jimmy's brother Martin's funeral, the family met up at a pub in Wandsworth, south west London.

At 3am, after racking up a £4,600 bar tab, Jimmy grabbed his driver, Mick, and sister, Jackie, and told them: "We're going to get Martin."
They headed to the funeral home, where Jimmy kicked open the door, and found his brother in a coffin, dressed in a suit.

"I decided there and then that he looked like he could do with a drink," he recalled later.

"So I got him out of his coffin and walked him back to the car."
Read 7 tweets
Jan 3
You might remember Jese Rodriguez as a misfiring Stoke striker with a penchant for awful sunglasses.

But his off-field antics are worthy of a soap opera.

From exploding apartments to getting run over by his fiancée, here's the story of his truly ludicrous life...
The Spanish striker was once tipped as Real Madrid's hottest prospect, and ominously dubbed "the next Ronaldo."

But things didn't quite go to plan...
Aged 21 and out injured, his home life literally went up in flames when his apartment exploded after a gas leak.

Jese was carried out by firemen and spent the rest of the season on the sidelines.
Read 19 tweets
Dec 23, 2022
From Gary Neville's roast dinner rant to Ryan Giggs' erotic poetry, sport's biggest stars spouted some absolute drivel this year.

As 2022 draws to a close, here are the most ludicrous quotes from the last 12 months...
The infamous Wagatha Christie trial threw up some belters, but nothing beat Rebekah Vardy's jibe at Coleen Rooney:

“Arguing with Coleen is like arguing with a pigeon. You can tell it that you are right and it is wrong but it’s still going to shit in your hair.”
Gary Neville vs. the potato:

"Mashed potato, jacket potato, boiled potato, dauphinoise potato, parmentier potato.

"All these things that they do with potatoes... just cut them, fry them and stop putting fucking truffle and oregano on them and all that salt and pepper and shit."
Read 22 tweets
Dec 21, 2022
In the words of one TV critic, Sports Personality of the Year is "so dull it gives me nightmares."

So, with the ceremony tonight, we've lined up some alternative candidates.

From naked fans to chain smoking marathon runners, meet the real heroes of 2022...
In January, Guam football chief Marvin Iseke nodded off during a crucial FIFA Zoom call about holding the World Cup every two years.

In fairness, it was 1am on the Micronesian island, and Guam are unlikely to play in the World Cup, no matter how often they hold it.
Next up it's the grown woman who spanked Crystal Palace defender Joachim Andersen on the arse at Goodison Park.

An honourable mention to her young son, who gave Joachim a middle finger for good measure.

Chip off the old block...
Read 17 tweets

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!


This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Don't want to be a Premium member but still want to support us?

Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal

Or Donate anonymously using crypto!

Ethereum

0xfe58350B80634f60Fa6Dc149a72b4DFbc17D341E copy

Bitcoin

3ATGMxNzCUFzxpMCHL5sWSt4DVtS8UqXpi copy

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us on Twitter!

:(