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Dreamweasel Profile picture
@Dreamweasel
Jan 7, 2023 • 6 tweets • 2 min read • Read on X
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More from @Dreamweasel

Dreamweasel Profile picture
Sep 29
TEN POSSIBLE REASONS TRUMP SUPPORTERS HAVE BEEN LEAVING HIS RALLIES EARLY

10. Wanted to be respectful of the thousands of people who were presumably waiting to get in

9. So inspired by the proceedings that they couldn’t wait to go home & shout Trump’s message from the rooftops
8. Like most veteran touring acts, his new material’s just not as good as the classics the fans all came to hear

7. Some people took Trump a bit too literally when he insisted “They’re not after me; they’re after you”
6. Attendees started to notice subtle clues that Trump’s once-stirring rhetoric is becoming somewhat less focused

5. Wanted to get home in time to watch Hannity explain what the hell Trump really meant to say at the rally they just attended
Read 6 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
Sep 24
Now where would us TDS-afflicted liberals ever get the idea that Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin were on the same side
(taps sign) ⬇️
Re-reading that thread, I could have been a bit more emphatic as to why none of those empirically terrible things are having any tangible political effect on Trump.

It’s not because they’re not true. It’s because Republicans don’t care.
Read 13 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
Sep 20
I can only imagine how the 2019 edition of Dreamweasel would have reacted to the AP stories from five years in the future
“Literally nothing that happened, including multiple impeachments and several dozen felony convictions, was enough to dethrone Trump as the 2024 Republican nominee let alone send him to prison to face the justice he has long deserved” sure would have been a bitter pill to swallow
2019: Wait. He was CONVICTED?

2024: Yes, of 34 felonies

2019: How is he still the nominee?

2024: Nobody in the GOP wants to fight him for it badly enough

2019: The Democrats should be talking about this every day

2024: They do, but it’s not making much difference
Read 6 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
Sep 19
AN OBLIGATORY MARK ROBINSON LIST

10. Unoriginal observation that Republicans who want to legislate sexual behavior are very frequently guilty of deviant sexual behavior themselves

9. Hot-off-the-press news that Trump supporters tend to have screamingly racist views
8. Another post commenting on the baldfaced hypocrisy of the personal behavior of those who would inflict Project 2025 on the rest of us

7. Recognition that African-American Trump supporters have to really ramp up the crazy to demonstrate their loyalty to Dear Leader
6. Awareness that any Democratic candidate with an Ashley Madison account would be fucking finished

5. Insert hackneyed porn joke. Seriously, just pick one. It can’t be any more tiresome than the Ted Cruz meme
Read 6 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
Sep 14
NOTE: The following thread is intended satirically, and suggests very offensive language. It is advised that sensitive followers close eyes before reading.
CNN: Mr. Trump, please explain your plan to lower grocery prices

TRUMP: I’ve got a great plan, a beautiful plan, and we’re gonna make other countries pay their share. But to me, it’s far more important that we get rid of the n****rs

CNN: Wait, what
ABC: Would you support gun control to prevent school shootings

TRUMP: No, we need to keep our guns to protect us from the n****rs

NYT: Would you sign a bill to make abortion illegal

TRUMP: That won’t be an issue once we get rid of the n****rs that are raping white women
Read 7 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
Sep 13
Genuinely not sure what difference that would make.

1. The people who care aren’t voting for him
2. The people who are voting for him don’t care
3. Undecided voters who would be swayed by this are all but nonexistent statistically
To suggest that “The Republican Nominee for President Is Clearly Out of His Goddamned Mind” would have a cataclysmic effect on a substantial subset of the voting populace & thereby move the electoral needle in any way, shape or form is an anachronistic relic of pre-2016 politics
THE SURVEY

🤖: Hello, do you have a minute to complete a survey about the upcoming election?

👨🏻: Yeah, sure

🤖: For each of the following statements, please tell me if they would make you more likely or less likely to vote for Donald Trump

👨🏻: OK
Read 7 tweets

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