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Dreamweasel Profile picture
@Dreamweasel
Jan 7, 2023 • 6 tweets • 2 min read • Read on X
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A #CATURDAY THREAD

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More from @Dreamweasel

Dreamweasel Profile picture
Nov 15
TEN POTENTIAL SILVER LININGS OF A SECOND TRUMP ADMINISTRATION

10. Come January, the President of the United States will have nothing but great things to say about our economy

9. No more endless media speculation about whether Biden is too old or incoherent to lead the country
8. Police presence required to arrest & deport illegal immigrants may keep them too busy to attack nonviolent protesters

7. Several dozen of our most objectively terrible Republicans will no longer be our governors or Congressmen Image
6. It will be a gift to Americans who actively hoped to listen to Trump’s gravelly, self-satisfied and aggressively condescending vocal cadence for four more years
Read 7 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
Nov 13
TEN POSSIBLE REASONS PEOPLE MAY NOT WISH TO SOCIALIZE WITH FAMILY MEMBERS WHO VOTED FOR TRUMP

10. They stubbornly choose to disregard the other allegedly admirable characterstics of people who also chose to inflict an incoherent authoritarian quasi-fascist on the rest of us
9. Clearly they are sheltered snowflakes who can’t handle simple differences of opinion as to whether roving gangs of Haitian migrants are eating house pets or whether women are choosing to slaughter babies after they are born
8. They doubtlessly have a vested interest in prisoners having gender-transition surgery on the taxpayer’s dime and are furious that Trump will put a stop to it

7. As surprising as it may sound, some people do not have an infinite tolerance for Whataboutism
Read 8 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
Nov 7
WHAT WENT WRONG WITH THE HARRIS CAMPAIGN?
The Experts Weigh In!

New blog post:
open.substack.com/pub/dreamwease…Image
👷🏻‍♂️: Kamala Harris shouldn’t have acted so condescending to the white working-class voters who believe that Donald Trump is telling the truth and everyone else in the world is lying
👩🏽‍💼: Your average American doesn’t care that Trump was convicted of 34 felonies and attempted to actively sabotage the last election. That’s all in the past!
Read 12 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
Nov 2
A MAN IN NEED

Donald Trump is a bottomless well of need. He is not merely the neediest President of all time, but he is thirstier for approval than any public figure in American history.

New blog post: ⬇️
open.substack.com/pub/dreamwease…Image
Even when Trump was elected President, it was not enough to satisfy him. He had to be the greatest President of all time, with the highest approval ratings who won re-election in a landslide.
And his malicious, deceitful and self-centered actions ensured that the world would never adore him the way he felt entitled to be adored.

One would think that a man who craves approval so desperately would be more receptive to criticism.
Read 10 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
Nov 1
Heaven forfend!
WHAT TRUMP’S STAFF TELLS HIM WHEN HE ASKS THEM WHY WOMEN DON’T LIKE HIM

10. Times have changed, and women no longer find wealthy and successful men with rugged good looks and thick, lustrous heads of hair attractive anymore
9. Women may have a natural yet unspoken preference for men who allow women to lfinish sentences while they are talking

8. The Woke Mind Virus has convinced them that there’s something dishonorable about cheating on all three of your wives with multiple partners
Read 9 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
Oct 31
A SMOKE-FILLED ROOM AT RNC HEADQUARTERS

🙎🏻‍♀️: God, Trump’s been going off the rails

🙍🏽‍♂️: He’s been babbling like a crazy person about complete nonsense

🤷‍♂️: They’re eating the dogs”? “They’re eating the cats”? Jesus

🤦🏻: And he’s so obsessed with people leaving his rallies early
🙍🏽‍♂️: Can you believe he just stood there dancing for 30 minutes?

👩🏻‍🦰: I did not have “Arnold Palmer’s Dick” on my Bingo Card

🤦🏻: I’m sorry, but Trump is out of his goddamned mind

🤷‍♂️: How is this guy gonna make it until Election Day?
👨🏻: I have a thought

🙎🏻‍♀️: Let’s hear it

👨🏻: What if we all just decided to ignore it?

🙎‍♂️: I don’t follow

👨🏻: Just ignore it, and focus on the 4 or 5 things all Republicans want: low taxes, safe streets, secure borders, gun rights, & getting nanny-state Democrats off our backs
Read 7 tweets

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