"High Functioning" just means "capable of hiding our internal experience".
High Functioning Anxiety, Depression, Autism - so on.
The label is not helpful to the person capable of hiding their difficulties and struggles other than to maintain privacy /autonomy.
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"High Functioning" means you do what's expected of you.
Maybe it's work. Take care of your kids or friends or family. The ability to convince other people you're doing okay, that you don't need help or accommodation.
"High Functioning" convinces us we "shouldn't" need help.
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"High Functioning" convinces us our distress is just us being dramatic. That we are
"making a big deal out of nothing". That we need to put more energy into cleaning, working, cooking - whatever it is we're
struggling to do day to day.
"High Functioning" is a liar.
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"High Functioning" makes it all the more difficult for us to accept that we can't.
That we are disabled in the areas where we struggle the most - even if just for a period of time. It makes it more difficult for us to recognize our needs. Asking for help; nearly impossible.
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As we enter a week where many may be interacting with family and other humans more - thought I’d share some Neurodivergent Affirming points from a therapist:
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Your needs matter more than anything.
Seriously.
Each of our connections with others and circumstances will be different, so safety is going to be the most pressing and important need. If you need to sacrifice peace for a bit to stay safe - understood.
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Before you enter whatever event you may be attending with family or others this week - try to take some time to think of what needs to check in with yourself during the event(s).
Do you need to pay attention to your heart rate? Make sure you’re breathing?
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As a kid, I was often criticized for stating “I can’t”
Instead, I was told to have a growth mindset and say “I can”
I understand why adults tried to get me to change this perspective, however now as an adult with multiple disabilities, I recognize this wasn’t the advice needed
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There are many ways to help motivate a person to give something their all and there are also opportunities for us to recognize - people are going to do the best they can in a given situation.
It’s not that I was trying to get out of doing something - I legitimately could not.
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Now, as a therapist I regularly help clients recognize when something is a realistic goal to attempt or if something is unrealistic or even impossible and would best benefit from accepting this - not as defeat; but as reality.
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