[thread]
A short story to commemorate the 31st January 2020
A short story to commemorate the 31st January 2020
I would like to dedicate this short story to one man
The man who reigned supreme as our blessed People's Prime Minister
The man who got brexit done
The man who got all the big calls right
The King of the World @BorisJohnson
The man who reigned supreme as our blessed People's Prime Minister
The man who got brexit done
The man who got all the big calls right
The King of the World @BorisJohnson
So my short story title
was as a homage to @BorisJohnson 's seminal work
(He does a lot of work involving semen but let's not touch on his technology lessons or his oral interviews for a chief of staff)
was as a homage to @BorisJohnson 's seminal work
(He does a lot of work involving semen but let's not touch on his technology lessons or his oral interviews for a chief of staff)
"I mean this is Magna Carta, it’s the Burgesses coming at Parliament, it’s the great Reform Bill, it’s the bill of rights, it’s so many… It’s Waterloo, it’s Agincourt, it’s Crecy, We win all these things.”
facebook.com/watch/?v=14386…
facebook.com/watch/?v=14386…
First we go back in time
To the 23rd of June 2016
A man gives an early indication that he needs an eyesight test by punching a roof tile
The victory cry goes out of kill the CBI
cdn.jwplayer.com/previews/ELU3T…
To the 23rd of June 2016
A man gives an early indication that he needs an eyesight test by punching a roof tile
The victory cry goes out of kill the CBI
cdn.jwplayer.com/previews/ELU3T…
Who needs an absolute burden of proof or trial by jury
Now to hang them, shoot them or electrocute them?
And to fuck them before or after killing them?
facebook.com/watch/?v=36674…
Now to hang them, shoot them or electrocute them?
And to fuck them before or after killing them?
facebook.com/watch/?v=36674…
The next morning, a war leader emerges to address the nation
Boris Johnson stands in front of the statue of Winston Churchill and the Conservative & Unionist Party take a knee before him, prostrate, worshipping at a Big Dog took on not just the 4th reich but the EUSSR and won.
Boris Johnson stands in front of the statue of Winston Churchill and the Conservative & Unionist Party take a knee before him, prostrate, worshipping at a Big Dog took on not just the 4th reich but the EUSSR and won.
Their are tears streaming down their eyes as Big Ben chimes the sunrise of the approaching day
https://mobile.twitter.com/BBCPolitics/status/1217000076264050688
Mark Francois, who has promised £1,000, said “I think we will get it within 48 hours”
A reminder - that campaign unravelled in mere hours
Still not like that was a warning or anything
A reminder - that campaign unravelled in mere hours
Still not like that was a warning or anything
The cries start ringing around Parliament Square
Boris for leader
Not quite in the same marching song style of Andrea Leadsom but more focused and more energetic
each Tory MP straining every sinew to raise their voice louder than the next to seek the favour of the King
Boris for leader
Not quite in the same marching song style of Andrea Leadsom but more focused and more energetic
each Tory MP straining every sinew to raise their voice louder than the next to seek the favour of the King
just like the competition to chant "40 new hospitals"
Boris stands there alone beneath Winston, basking in the glorious rapture that was always his right, his due as the King of the World
As the crescendo of the massed ranks of MPs, wives', mistresses', donors reach fever pitch
As the crescendo of the massed ranks of MPs, wives', mistresses', donors reach fever pitch
The Chairman of the 1922 steps up beside Boris and raises a hand to quiet them
His mind flashes back to a Spectator/Telegraph party in 2001 that aided his rise
His mind flashes back to a Spectator/Telegraph party in 2001 that aided his rise
Boris for leader?
As one the crowd roar
Acclamation by proclamation
The King of the World takes the adoration of his party
He leads them up past Horse Guards, No10 and Whitehall
As one the crowd roar
Acclamation by proclamation
The King of the World takes the adoration of his party
He leads them up past Horse Guards, No10 and Whitehall
They get to the Mall & head up to the Palace
Boris hushes his crowd outside the Palace as he goes into meet Her Majesty
He emerges First Lord of the Treasury
The People's Prime Minister
His MP's wait to kiss his feet
Eager to show their fealty and get their brexit dividend
Boris hushes his crowd outside the Palace as he goes into meet Her Majesty
He emerges First Lord of the Treasury
The People's Prime Minister
His MP's wait to kiss his feet
Eager to show their fealty and get their brexit dividend
His first task to secure the tome that is the brexit plan that Boris & Michael assured the nation that they had written and preseve its magnificence for posterity.
Boris enters Westminster Hall
In the centre of that great Hall he puts the great brexit plan on public display.
Boris enters Westminster Hall
In the centre of that great Hall he puts the great brexit plan on public display.
Copies are made to be put in the Commons Library and also to be given to each member of the Commons and Lords.
Each city, town and village hall in the land is sent a copy to put on its notice board.
Each city, town and village hall in the land is sent a copy to put on its notice board.
The plan of course is bulging at the seams, a book lovingly crafted by experts and full of detail on what brexit is and how to deliver it.
Michael was only joking when he said people had had enough of experts
Michael was only joking when he said people had had enough of experts
Before he has had time to beg party donors for redecoration monies the donors are already flooding him with text messages competing to shower him in gifts.
He would like to pause for a quick rest to conduct oral interviews for chief of staff but he has a busy first day as PM
He would like to pause for a quick rest to conduct oral interviews for chief of staff but he has a busy first day as PM
Boris arrives at Number 10 just in time to gloat as David flees the building, his possessions rapidly flung into a delivery van.
Boris strides into Number 10 to rapturous applause from his courtiers and from No10 police, residence and civil service staff.
Boris strides into Number 10 to rapturous applause from his courtiers and from No10 police, residence and civil service staff.
His team have already brought the booze in through the garden side gate and got the party music lined up ready to strain every sinew not to have miserable parties.
Whilst Boris is getting settled into the No10 residence and choosing his new decor in the EUSSR/4th reich moves are afoot.
In Germany (where they haven't killed their CBI) BDI Managing Director Joachim Lang marches into the Chancellor's office and well..
In Germany (where they haven't killed their CBI) BDI Managing Director Joachim Lang marches into the Chancellor's office and well..
Boris is busy leafing through catalogues with easy wipe clean sofa covers (the screams of Get Off Me not echoing through the residence) when he is interrupted by a phone call from Jean Claude Juncker and Donald Tusk.
They inform Boris that they recognise that they need the UK more than the UK needs the EU
The UK holds all the cards and they ask Boris what terms he would accept.
So Boris asks for the stars
No liabilities
A better deal than we had when inside the EU
The UK holds all the cards and they ask Boris what terms he would accept.
So Boris asks for the stars
No liabilities
A better deal than we had when inside the EU
The easiest deal in history is accomplished without Boris having to even strain a sinew
The best of both worlds you might say
The best of both worlds you might say
So having dealt with the EU Boris leaves them to go & draw up a treaty
He knows it is of little worth for long
After all the EUSSR/4th reich will collapse soon anyway
The domino effect of EU27 member states seeing what a success brexit has been will be its death knell
He knows it is of little worth for long
After all the EUSSR/4th reich will collapse soon anyway
The domino effect of EU27 member states seeing what a success brexit has been will be its death knell
Boris gets down to sorting out his ministerial appointments
After all the King of the World can't be expected to do actual work
Chequers and foreign villa's donated by grateful subjects await his attendance
After all the King of the World can't be expected to do actual work
Chequers and foreign villa's donated by grateful subjects await his attendance
His last act before retiring to Chequers for a well deserved party (definitely not a miserable one - who would want one of those)
Is to announce the date of leaving the EU
When else
But on his birthday 19 June in one years time in 2017
Is to announce the date of leaving the EU
When else
But on his birthday 19 June in one years time in 2017
School children from their earliest days at nursery/kindergarten and primary/junior school through to senior school
Learn how to appreciate open global Britain
Through the medium of song
Learn how to appreciate open global Britain
Through the medium of song
https://twitter.com/RosieisaHolt/status/1407637115760959489
If the medium of song is not sufficient
Then Boris Johnson issues a commemorative 50p brexit coin made with his image on one side
And of course the immortal words
“The problem is not that we were once in charge, but that we are not in charge any more.”
Then Boris Johnson issues a commemorative 50p brexit coin made with his image on one side
And of course the immortal words
“The problem is not that we were once in charge, but that we are not in charge any more.”
The Festival of Brexit is into its 6th year of running and continues to top the league tables of visitor attractions in the UK.
Repeat visitors using it as a pilgrimage to celebrate 23rd June 2016 or the date of departure weep openly with joy at the mock Big Ben attraction.
Repeat visitors using it as a pilgrimage to celebrate 23rd June 2016 or the date of departure weep openly with joy at the mock Big Ben attraction.
The Festival is located in Croydon where of course a pound spent is of so much higher value and a touring festival is also touring the world sharing the vision of open global Britain to
Boris even finds the funfair rides better than Peppa Pig World
Boris even finds the funfair rides better than Peppa Pig World
https://twitter.com/BBCPolitics/status/1462734323652743173
In time he manages to build his tunnel across the Irish Sea that truly is a gem of british engineering &political leadership in the same way the Garden Bridge was
No chancellor would after all ever dare thwart the King of the World on completing one of his masterpiece projects
No chancellor would after all ever dare thwart the King of the World on completing one of his masterpiece projects
Next Boris starts to build a bridge to France
once the jury report back on whether France is friend or enemy - the bridge will provide a useful means to allow British tanks to roll across the Channel
Joking ofc - Tanks have no place in battlefields
once the jury report back on whether France is friend or enemy - the bridge will provide a useful means to allow British tanks to roll across the Channel
Joking ofc - Tanks have no place in battlefields
https://twitter.com/newstatesman/status/1498252735443091459?lang=en
He also needs to consider what honours and dividends he can bestow on his loyal foot soldiers
In no particular order of precedence
In no particular order of precedence
1. Dominic Cummings
Dominic tries to curtail his surprise at the plan that Boris Johnson and Michael Gove have immortalised in Westminster Hall
After all he had said that
Dominic tries to curtail his surprise at the plan that Boris Johnson and Michael Gove have immortalised in Westminster Hall
After all he had said that
2. What won it
Dominic never needs to admit what won it
Dominic never needs to admit what won it
3. Racism & xenophobia
There is absolutely no evidence of leave campaigns using racism and xenophobia
None at all
There is absolutely no evidence of leave campaigns using racism and xenophobia
None at all
https://twitter.com/writesbright/status/1609980791936745472
4. The NHS
With a focus on NHS England, NHS Wales (and no doubt Fact Check will produce an equivalent on Scotland soon)
Plus a focus on @trussliz and her inability to answer a question on whether austerity affected her personally
With a focus on NHS England, NHS Wales (and no doubt Fact Check will produce an equivalent on Scotland soon)
Plus a focus on @trussliz and her inability to answer a question on whether austerity affected her personally
https://twitter.com/PandaScottish/status/1618716555701030913
5. Cigil Service
are glad to have a plan from Boris
It prevents their head investigating and finding that he strangely agrees with Dominic Cummings
"Creating an exit plan that makes sense and which all reasonable people could unite around seems an almost insuperable task"
are glad to have a plan from Boris
It prevents their head investigating and finding that he strangely agrees with Dominic Cummings
"Creating an exit plan that makes sense and which all reasonable people could unite around seems an almost insuperable task"
6. Bingo card
Brexiteers never have to flit between the bingo balls below
There is no damage
There is damage but we always said there would be some / it's a price worth paying
It’s just global trends
Stop talking the country down
If only you believed harder
Brexiteers never have to flit between the bingo balls below
There is no damage
There is damage but we always said there would be some / it's a price worth paying
It’s just global trends
Stop talking the country down
If only you believed harder
7. Exploitataion
And of course
You would never need to exploit a pandemic where you got “all the big calls right” and over 214,000 people died whilst he joked of Operation Last Gasp and partied (repeatedly) whilst praising a nation for following lockdown laws
And of course
You would never need to exploit a pandemic where you got “all the big calls right” and over 214,000 people died whilst he joked of Operation Last Gasp and partied (repeatedly) whilst praising a nation for following lockdown laws
8. Jacob Rees Mogg
Jacob never had to stand in front of his constituents and
After all if you could lie to the very face of your constituents so easily why you surely could lie to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II to unlawfully prorogue Parliament
Jacob never had to stand in front of his constituents and
After all if you could lie to the very face of your constituents so easily why you surely could lie to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II to unlawfully prorogue Parliament
9. Michael Gove
Michael never gets the chance to stab Boris in the back to derail his ascension to Prime Minister
Michael is given control of the Ministry of Sound
He has no longer "had enough" of experts
He seeks to employ a "Fellowship of Experts" (again)
Michael never gets the chance to stab Boris in the back to derail his ascension to Prime Minister
Michael is given control of the Ministry of Sound
He has no longer "had enough" of experts
He seeks to employ a "Fellowship of Experts" (again)
10. Penny Mordaunt
She did tell the Buzzfeed debate that Vote Leave had many solutions to the NI border
So is appointed Minister for sorting out the Irish problem
After all no one would want the below to happen:
She did tell the Buzzfeed debate that Vote Leave had many solutions to the NI border
So is appointed Minister for sorting out the Irish problem
After all no one would want the below to happen:
https://twitter.com/ByDonkeys/status/1184738823420502016
11. Liam Fox
Disgraced former minister Liam Fox is given a role assuring EU citizens that their circumstances won't change and that they definitely won't be used as a "main card" in the negotiation
And he never has to hire Crawford Falconer
Disgraced former minister Liam Fox is given a role assuring EU citizens that their circumstances won't change and that they definitely won't be used as a "main card" in the negotiation
And he never has to hire Crawford Falconer
12. Daniel J Hannan
He did promise to leave politics become a teacher post-brexit but the lure landscape photography was just too great
He's also going to help Police sort their figures so they don't show post brexit racism
He did promise to leave politics become a teacher post-brexit but the lure landscape photography was just too great
He's also going to help Police sort their figures so they don't show post brexit racism
13. Gisela Stuart
Well she helped give with her Labour rosette the bit of cross party branding that Vote Leave needed
She too will get her cushy job post brexit
But first she has to delete evidence
Not to worry though the internet remembers
Well she helped give with her Labour rosette the bit of cross party branding that Vote Leave needed
She too will get her cushy job post brexit
But first she has to delete evidence
Not to worry though the internet remembers
14. Priti Patel
She will never have to worry about threatening to starve Ireland
Or using foreign aid as a trade tool to extort other countries due to a weakened, desperate UK
Instead she is given the jobs of sorting out visa's for Indian chefs
She will never have to worry about threatening to starve Ireland
Or using foreign aid as a trade tool to extort other countries due to a weakened, desperate UK
Instead she is given the jobs of sorting out visa's for Indian chefs
15. Rishi Sunak
Rishi took over the seat of William Hague
And peddled all the common brexit lies and BS required of a leaver
So he is given his wish
Since he named "that one EU law"
and is appointed Minister for Hedgerows and Cabbage
Rishi took over the seat of William Hague
And peddled all the common brexit lies and BS required of a leaver
So he is given his wish
Since he named "that one EU law"
and is appointed Minister for Hedgerows and Cabbage
16. George Eustice
George who was granted the authority during the referendum campaign to make government policy promises with some fascinating logic from Sir Bernard Jenkin
Delivers on those making sure that British farmers experience the blessed sunlit uplands of brexit
George who was granted the authority during the referendum campaign to make government policy promises with some fascinating logic from Sir Bernard Jenkin
Delivers on those making sure that British farmers experience the blessed sunlit uplands of brexit
17. Bernard Jenkin
Never has to ever come up with the utter shite of a "pusishment brexit"
"I think it is very hard for officials to know what to do when there's a certain amount of disagreement in the Cabinet"
Never has to ever come up with the utter shite of a "pusishment brexit"
"I think it is very hard for officials to know what to do when there's a certain amount of disagreement in the Cabinet"
18. Chris Grayling
Chris Grayling who famously pre-2010 warned of the consequences of cutting police officers
And then guess what David Cameron & Theresa May did whilst in power?
We will never ever have to see Chris Grayling and the "I see ships" debacle
Chris Grayling who famously pre-2010 warned of the consequences of cutting police officers
And then guess what David Cameron & Theresa May did whilst in power?
We will never ever have to see Chris Grayling and the "I see ships" debacle
19. Theresa May
Would not have had to sack a whistleblower who pointed out the electoral crimes that “winners” won by
Oh here’s also Theresa concerned about cheating *in a cricket match*
Would not have had to sack a whistleblower who pointed out the electoral crimes that “winners” won by
Oh here’s also Theresa concerned about cheating *in a cricket match*
20. David Davis
David Davis lives up to his word
In September 2016 the UK starts simultaneous parallel trade negotiations with more countries than exist on Planet Earth
And these are all completed, signed and ratified by Parliament within 6 months.
David Davis lives up to his word
In September 2016 the UK starts simultaneous parallel trade negotiations with more countries than exist on Planet Earth
And these are all completed, signed and ratified by Parliament within 6 months.
21. Liz Truss
Liz truss will never get to make use of her official photographer
Just think of the loss of all those photos to instagram and twitter
She will never get the chance to insult the Australian trade delegation
Liz truss will never get to make use of her official photographer
Just think of the loss of all those photos to instagram and twitter
She will never get the chance to insult the Australian trade delegation
22. CANZUK
Here's Australia and New Zealand
Here's Australia and New Zealand
23. New Zealand
The New Zealand deal is a stunning success of brexit trade negotiations
"will have a negligible effect on the British economy and could actually make it shrink slightly and leave people worse off, according to government forecasts."
The New Zealand deal is a stunning success of brexit trade negotiations
"will have a negligible effect on the British economy and could actually make it shrink slightly and leave people worse off, according to government forecasts."
https://twitter.com/bmay/status/1550424899268886531
24. Australia
The UK again had another stunning success of brexit trade negotiations with Australia
The UK again had another stunning success of brexit trade negotiations with Australia
25. Japan
The UK never needs to write any comfort letters Japan
Or try to keep their contents secret
The UK never needs to write any comfort letters Japan
Or try to keep their contents secret
26. British Volt
meanwhile are a roaring success
meanwhile are a roaring success
27. Special Relationship
Brexit UK cancelled the special relationship
After all you can't be friends with a country that has an ancestral hatred of you
Here are some more Americans showing they have an ancestral hatred of the UK
Brexit UK cancelled the special relationship
After all you can't be friends with a country that has an ancestral hatred of you
Here are some more Americans showing they have an ancestral hatred of the UK
https://twitter.com/jim_cornelius/status/1011736467310301184
28. USA USA USA
Sorry for the chant
I was just trying to see how a chant works e.g. 40 new hospitals
Meanwhile - here is a Republican and Democrat appointee also showing yet further ancestral hatred of the UK
Sorry for the chant
I was just trying to see how a chant works e.g. 40 new hospitals
Meanwhile - here is a Republican and Democrat appointee also showing yet further ancestral hatred of the UK
29. Dominic Raab
He can rest easy because there is no need for him and other Brexit supporting tories to campaign for a second referendum *checks notes* at the next general election
They would only have needed one if they lost. No other reason e.g. lies, cheating, racism
He can rest easy because there is no need for him and other Brexit supporting tories to campaign for a second referendum *checks notes* at the next general election
They would only have needed one if they lost. No other reason e.g. lies, cheating, racism
30. Anne Marie Trevelyan
She won't have to embarass herself like this when asked a simple question on the cost benefit analysis of a trade deal
She won't have to embarass herself like this when asked a simple question on the cost benefit analysis of a trade deal
31. Suella Fernandez
Suella need not feel ashamed and can be open and proud at detailing all the members of the ERG
She may one day get the chance to fulfil her dream of exporting refugees to Rwanda.
thepoke.co.uk/2022/07/11/sue…
Suella need not feel ashamed and can be open and proud at detailing all the members of the ERG
She may one day get the chance to fulfil her dream of exporting refugees to Rwanda.
thepoke.co.uk/2022/07/11/sue…
32. Andrea Leadsom
Andrea Leadsom never has to revise her
"So I'm unimpressed to hear the Remain camp insisting that a vote to leave means sterling will collapse"
To:
Andrea Leadsom never has to revise her
"So I'm unimpressed to hear the Remain camp insisting that a vote to leave means sterling will collapse"
To:
33. Nadine Dorries
We will never find out that Nadine Dorries is asked a simple question on the customs union - that she had no idea whatsoever about what she was voting for
I blame the ERG for not being able to teacher her tbh
We will never find out that Nadine Dorries is asked a simple question on the customs union - that she had no idea whatsoever about what she was voting for
I blame the ERG for not being able to teacher her tbh
34. James O'Brien @mrjamesob
Just to put James next to Nadine (one of his favourite Tory MPs)
lbc.co.uk/radio/presente…
Just to put James next to Nadine (one of his favourite Tory MPs)
lbc.co.uk/radio/presente…
35. Marcus Fysh
Does not have to try hard to compete with Nadine Dorries for showing a deep understanding of what he voted for
Does not have to try hard to compete with Nadine Dorries for showing a deep understanding of what he voted for
36. Kate Hoey
Like Nadine
Also didn't seem to understand what she was voting for
Like Nadine
Also didn't seem to understand what she was voting for
https://twitter.com/ImIncorrigible/status/989482519174303744
37. MP Social Media Guidance
Just an aside here is the advice provided by Parliament to MPs on how to manage their social media
Just an aside here is the advice provided by Parliament to MPs on how to manage their social media
38. Andrea Jenkyns
I will just leave this photo to stand by itself
I will just leave this photo to stand by itself
39. Anne Marie Morris
Need never get stuck in the gap between her two statements below
Need never get stuck in the gap between her two statements below
40. Peter Bone
Peter need never worry
This photograph will never have existed
Peter need never worry
This photograph will never have existed
41. Sajid Javid
Despite being a member of the ERG
Sajid backed remain
Maybe he thought it was good for his career prospects (an inverse Boris)
Sajid Javid does not write an article about the lost decade of brexit and cancel his own writing
Despite being a member of the ERG
Sajid backed remain
Maybe he thought it was good for his career prospects (an inverse Boris)
Sajid Javid does not write an article about the lost decade of brexit and cancel his own writing
https://twitter.com/karlturnermp/status/1409657203028496392
42. Nadhim Zahawi
Nadhim never has to worry about his post bag being full of the country "coming together" as the only evidence he has for how well brexit is going
cc: @mrjamesob
lbc.co.uk/radio/presente…
Nadhim never has to worry about his post bag being full of the country "coming together" as the only evidence he has for how well brexit is going
cc: @mrjamesob
lbc.co.uk/radio/presente…
43. Helen Whatley
Helen doesn't have to reach for such hollow lies when trying to claim "successes" from brexit
Helen doesn't have to reach for such hollow lies when trying to claim "successes" from brexit
https://twitter.com/Haggis_UK/status/1619981044102623233
44. Greg Hands
Greg never gets so desperate and pathetic that he on Christmas Eve dishes up with contempt to leave voters a steaming pile of horseshit
Greg never gets so desperate and pathetic that he on Christmas Eve dishes up with contempt to leave voters a steaming pile of horseshit
45. Buses
Just to continue on with the abject shameless of Greg Hands
He has the utter shamelessness ON HOLOCAUST MEMORIAL DAY AS WELL to compare the policies of Sadiq Khan to the objectives of the Luftwaffe
Just to continue on with the abject shameless of Greg Hands
He has the utter shamelessness ON HOLOCAUST MEMORIAL DAY AS WELL to compare the policies of Sadiq Khan to the objectives of the Luftwaffe
46. Steve Baker
Brexit hardman Steve Baker demonstrated he was prepared to do anything to win
Brexit hardman Steve Baker demonstrated he was prepared to do anything to win
47. Darren Grimes
What is really unusual
Is that near £700,000 figure
Pops up again
In the case of
What is really unusual
Is that near £700,000 figure
Pops up again
In the case of
48. Michael Howard
Michael never has to threaten invading Spain to resolve the issue over Gibraltar in EU negotiations
Michael never has to threaten invading Spain to resolve the issue over Gibraltar in EU negotiations
49. Liabilities
We never need to pay any liabilities to the EU for monies owed
Therefore Philip Hammond never becomes Chancellor and never needs to say the below
We never need to pay any liabilities to the EU for monies owed
Therefore Philip Hammond never becomes Chancellor and never needs to say the below
50. Nigel Farage
Nigel Farage doesn't have to spend the morning after the vote rolling back on the lies of the £350 million a week
(he's not alone in that - Iain Duncan Smith and other brexiteers try to roll back from the promise of a red bus as well)
independent.co.uk/news/uk/politi…
Nigel Farage doesn't have to spend the morning after the vote rolling back on the lies of the £350 million a week
(he's not alone in that - Iain Duncan Smith and other brexiteers try to roll back from the promise of a red bus as well)
independent.co.uk/news/uk/politi…
51. Victoria Ayling
When all those British workers didn't turn up
And we haven't managed to have a National Youth Service of pickers
Or prison chain gangs of pickers
What happens then?
When all those British workers didn't turn up
And we haven't managed to have a National Youth Service of pickers
Or prison chain gangs of pickers
What happens then?
52. Richard Tice
Given the NI border was solved within 24 hours of the vote
Richard Tice never needs to get challenged like this
h/t @oxforddiplomat
Given the NI border was solved within 24 hours of the vote
Richard Tice never needs to get challenged like this
h/t @oxforddiplomat
https://twitter.com/oxforddiplomat/status/1182601437928443904?lang=en
53. @thatbrexitalex
Alexandra Phillips never gets questioned like this
Alexandra Phillips never gets questioned like this
https://twitter.com/Channel4News/status/1151165049706299392
54. Douglas Carswell
Douglas Carswell is so successful in opening up the UK to global trade
That he exports himself to America
Douglas Carswell is so successful in opening up the UK to global trade
That he exports himself to America
55. Bill Cash
Bill Cash never needs to form a star chamber
or demand a "full brexit"
if you knew what you were voting for
why would you have to clarify this ?
Bill Cash never needs to form a star chamber
or demand a "full brexit"
if you knew what you were voting for
why would you have to clarify this ?
https://twitter.com/stephenkb/status/966030983857344513
56. Levelling up fund
The levellig up fund need never be used as a cash cow to fund facilities to try and deal with brexit collateral damage
Because of no such thing as brexit collateral damage should exist
The levellig up fund need never be used as a cash cow to fund facilities to try and deal with brexit collateral damage
Because of no such thing as brexit collateral damage should exist
57. Theresa Villiers
Never has to clarify any confusion around the NI border
Never has to clarify any confusion around the NI border
58. Lord Lawson
Lord Lawson never has to invoke will o' the wisp
Lord Lawson never has to invoke will o' the wisp
59. Mark Francois
Stands proudly at the start of the crowd funding campaign to restore Big Ben and allow their chimes to celebrate brexit day
Stands proudly at the start of the crowd funding campaign to restore Big Ben and allow their chimes to celebrate brexit day
https://twitter.com/christopherhope/status/1219278099839438849
60. Big Ben
The crowd fund so brilliantly organised by Mark Francois and championed by the King of the World succeeds
The crowd fund so brilliantly organised by Mark Francois and championed by the King of the World succeeds
61. Peter J North
Would not have to write blog posts bemoaning the Vote Leave campaign taking voters for fools
Would not have to write blog posts bemoaning the Vote Leave campaign taking voters for fools
62. Matthew Elliot
I don't really have the words to use in a tweet safely about Matthew Elliot
He says "Project Fear didn't come to pass"
bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-pol…
I don't really have the words to use in a tweet safely about Matthew Elliot
He says "Project Fear didn't come to pass"
bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-pol…
63. Bank of England
Just imagine the Bank of England did not have to do a sledgehammer stimulus package
Just imagine the Bank of England did not have to do a sledgehammer stimulus package
64. Crispin Odey
Is absolutely delighted that he can celebrate
He never ever gets a chance to back Liz Truss because well... the rule of the King of the World is eternal
Is absolutely delighted that he can celebrate
He never ever gets a chance to back Liz Truss because well... the rule of the King of the World is eternal
65. Economists
Since brexiteers have won & demonstrated that Kate Hoey and brexit backing economists were correct
They can go about "converting" the rest of the economics profession to that reality
Since brexiteers have won & demonstrated that Kate Hoey and brexit backing economists were correct
They can go about "converting" the rest of the economics profession to that reality
https://twitter.com/woodgnomology/status/1107245529568813058
66. The BBC
The BBC never have to be ordered by Andrea Leadsom on how to be "a bit patriotic"
That's what Boris senior management appointees are for (as well as free financial advice and loans to the King)
The BBC never have to be ordered by Andrea Leadsom on how to be "a bit patriotic"
That's what Boris senior management appointees are for (as well as free financial advice and loans to the King)
https://twitter.com/BBCNewsnight/status/878313024657948672
67. The MSM
Despite being biased towards brexit
"when weighted to circulation, researchers found Leave commands a thumping 82% of the national daily newspaper readership."
They now all swear fealty and loyalty to the King
Despite being biased towards brexit
"when weighted to circulation, researchers found Leave commands a thumping 82% of the national daily newspaper readership."
They now all swear fealty and loyalty to the King
68. The Daily Mail
The Daily Mail never need to write the headline below
Instead they can turn their ire back on to firefighters, doctors, nurses, teachers, lefties, wokies and whomever else they use as cannon fodder in their eternal feeding of their clientele
The Daily Mail never need to write the headline below
Instead they can turn their ire back on to firefighters, doctors, nurses, teachers, lefties, wokies and whomever else they use as cannon fodder in their eternal feeding of their clientele
69. The Daily Express
They have spent the entire time since 23rd June 2016 selling to their readers that the EU is going to collapse
And since it hasn't yet
And the UK has fucked itself with austerity, brexit, covid and a lettuce....
it must always be someone else's fault
They have spent the entire time since 23rd June 2016 selling to their readers that the EU is going to collapse
And since it hasn't yet
And the UK has fucked itself with austerity, brexit, covid and a lettuce....
it must always be someone else's fault
70. Richard Desmond
71. Vladimir Putin
Our penultimate victor
Vladimir is delighted
Not just at the UK
But at Trump
I can understand no grounds for investigation
I can understand investigating & insufficient evidence
I cannot understand not investigating
It is a betrayal of a nation
Our penultimate victor
Vladimir is delighted
Not just at the UK
But at Trump
I can understand no grounds for investigation
I can understand investigating & insufficient evidence
I cannot understand not investigating
It is a betrayal of a nation
72. The EU
The benefit to the 27 member states
Seeing what happens when you allow amoral cheating lying racist nativist fantasy peddling charaltans who are prepared to do anything to win and then having "won" what they then do with that win
reuters.com/world/europe/s…
The benefit to the 27 member states
Seeing what happens when you allow amoral cheating lying racist nativist fantasy peddling charaltans who are prepared to do anything to win and then having "won" what they then do with that win
reuters.com/world/europe/s…
Margaret thatcher once said
The manner of winning is a matter of honour.”
She was wrong
Your honour exists with what you do with a win let alone how you win.
The manner of winning is a matter of honour.”
She was wrong
Your honour exists with what you do with a win let alone how you win.
Now
That's me reached the end of the 72 victors
A reminder
It is 2023
We are 7 years on from the 23rd of June 2016
Nothing has changed
A con that was sold by cheating lying racist nativist fantasy peddling charlatans
Is and forever will be a con
That's me reached the end of the 72 victors
A reminder
It is 2023
We are 7 years on from the 23rd of June 2016
Nothing has changed
A con that was sold by cheating lying racist nativist fantasy peddling charlatans
Is and forever will be a con
For example here is the Telegraph / Spectator in 2001
You know what is better than hindsight?
Foresight
You know what is better than hindsight?
Foresight
Here is the Telegraph 6 years later
It is at times difficult to know who is angriest
Those who sold it
Those who bought it and still believe
Those who bought it and regret
Those who didn't buy it
Those who by choice or eligiblity did not vote
Those who sold it
Those who bought it and still believe
Those who bought it and regret
Those who didn't buy it
Those who by choice or eligiblity did not vote
https://twitter.com/AngrySalmond/status/1619867183802187776
You get the ex grifters from UKIP some of whom have rebranded as Reform or are just freelancing
Who try to peddle the brexit hasn't been done properly because.....
Who try to peddle the brexit hasn't been done properly because.....
https://twitter.com/benhabib6/status/1620118307004157954
It is an exercise I often wonder
If I had voted for Leave
How would I react to the current state of affairs
A worse deal
Business fucked
Lying to Elizabeth
Union fucked
Trade deals worse
A liabilities bill
Border in the Irish Sea no unionist could support
If I had voted for Leave
How would I react to the current state of affairs
A worse deal
Business fucked
Lying to Elizabeth
Union fucked
Trade deals worse
A liabilities bill
Border in the Irish Sea no unionist could support
It comes down to a simple question
Can I lie to myself ?
If I can
Then I must get angry not at those who sold brexit
But either
1) blame those who delivered brexit
2) and/or invent people who frustrated brexit
Can I lie to myself ?
If I can
Then I must get angry not at those who sold brexit
But either
1) blame those who delivered brexit
2) and/or invent people who frustrated brexit
if I can lie to myself
Then I have no option but to get angry at the Conservatives for being "incompetent" at how they delivered brexit & argue that brexit has not been done "properly"
I suppose it is something to cling to if you can lie to yourself.
Then I have no option but to get angry at the Conservatives for being "incompetent" at how they delivered brexit & argue that brexit has not been done "properly"
I suppose it is something to cling to if you can lie to yourself.
https://twitter.com/PandaScottish/status/1567108635687272448
The fascinating thing is
are leavers who hate what was delivered (but can't face the truth as to why)
as angry
as remainers who for over 6 years have pointed out the lies and angry at how the lies "won" and the 6 years since of what liars have done to roll on their win
are leavers who hate what was delivered (but can't face the truth as to why)
as angry
as remainers who for over 6 years have pointed out the lies and angry at how the lies "won" and the 6 years since of what liars have done to roll on their win
As I can't lie to myself
Hence
All I am doing IS TAKING THE WORDS AND ACTIONS USED BY BREXITEERS TO SELL IT
And reflecting upon them
(Perhaps ironically living up to Boris & Michael's promise of a period of reflection)
Hence
All I am doing IS TAKING THE WORDS AND ACTIONS USED BY BREXITEERS TO SELL IT
And reflecting upon them
(Perhaps ironically living up to Boris & Michael's promise of a period of reflection)
https://twitter.com/NicholasTyrone/status/1620093047823552513
Now I could respect brexit if it had won without resorting to cheating, lies, racism and simplist fantasy bollocks
Let alone what they have done over the last 6 years to roll it on
The win was shameless enough
Let alone what they have done over the last 6 years to roll it on
The win was shameless enough
But dear god what you have done since that win out of desperation and fear to face how and what you won
Lying to Her Majesty
Unlawfully proroguing Parliament
Going yet further with the fascistic bullshit of enemies of the people, elites, citizens of nowhere etc
Lying to Her Majesty
Unlawfully proroguing Parliament
Going yet further with the fascistic bullshit of enemies of the people, elites, citizens of nowhere etc
I say etc...
There is so fucking much
Just so fucking much
There is so fucking much
Just so fucking much
And don't fucking dare say but look at Boris and Ukraine
The UK whomever was PM and whichever political party was in charge would always have stood by Ukraine
Imagine not having a PM who exploited Ukraine to divert from his own corruption and crises
The UK whomever was PM and whichever political party was in charge would always have stood by Ukraine
Imagine not having a PM who exploited Ukraine to divert from his own corruption and crises
I suppose if you can exploit coronavirus to distract from brexit and your responsibilities
Then of course you can exploit Ukraine to distract from brexit and your responsibilities
Then of course you can exploit Ukraine to distract from brexit and your responsibilities
I do not know where we go from here as a nation with brexit
All I know is that if we continue accepting
Being lied to by Labour
Being lied to by Conservatives
Being lied to by UKIP/Reform
All I know is that if we continue accepting
Being lied to by Labour
Being lied to by Conservatives
Being lied to by UKIP/Reform
Not facing up to how we got here and where we go from here will mean this poisoned period of British politics will never end
If all the parties are prepared to do or say anything to get into power without being honest about how brexit was won, what was won and how we got to where we are let alone where we go from here
Then politics sadly is doomed
The usual games of the electoral cycles will apply
Then politics sadly is doomed
The usual games of the electoral cycles will apply
If you cannot be honest with voters
You are all as fucking bad as each other
You are all as fucking bad as each other
Whilst I do care what the Labour Party policy is moving forward with brexit
If that policy can not be based on explaining how we got here, what here is and where we go from here and how they are going to make magical unicorns work
If that policy can not be based on explaining how we got here, what here is and where we go from here and how they are going to make magical unicorns work
It is the same fucking stinking horseshit as the Conservative Party
Worse than the fact that you will not get my vote
You do not even get my respect
Worse than the fact that you will not get my vote
You do not even get my respect
Oh and before anyone says well they need to do that to "win" power and then they can do more whilst in office to try and remedy the situation
If you lie to me and promise Labour tinted unicorns
It doesn't change that the unicorns are ULTIMATELY FUCKING UNDELIVERABLE
If you lie to me and promise Labour tinted unicorns
It doesn't change that the unicorns are ULTIMATELY FUCKING UNDELIVERABLE
Don't get me started on Jeremy fucking Hunt
"Confidence in the future starts with honesty about the present"
apparently the damage from brexit is just "disruption"
he cannot even bring himself to say the word damage
"Confidence in the future starts with honesty about the present"
apparently the damage from brexit is just "disruption"
he cannot even bring himself to say the word damage
and don't even get me started on Jeremy fucking Hunt blaming "black swan" events
From a man whose record as Health Secretary AND Exercise Cygnus is utterly fucking appalling
From a man whose record as Health Secretary AND Exercise Cygnus is utterly fucking appalling
https://twitter.com/PandaScottish/status/1592082593469513728
Oh and to any defenders of cake
Get yourselves to fuck
And when you get there
Fuck off some more
Get yourselves to fuck
And when you get there
Fuck off some more
https://twitter.com/PandaScottish/status/1613099089305935872
To quote the late Jo Cox MP - you really do all have more in common
Alas
Alas
https://twitter.com/PandaScottish/status/1460895968333897731
@threadreaderapp unroll please
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